WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (March 18, 2013) from Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; featuring the return of Triple H to answer the stipulation discussion last week from Paul Heyman for the match with Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania 29.
All that and more.
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here.
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MARCH 18
Rex here tonight. Let's mark out with our snark out.
John Cena is starting off the show tonight and he has a new bright yellow shirt. It hurts my eyes.
He points out that there are people are divided between him and the Rock.
He has a message for all of the Rock fans in the crowd tonight. "Your time is up, our time is now."
"I know its a bitter pill to swallow but all we have is now"
He isn't going to predict victory but he promises he is primed and ready for Wrestlemania.
TWEET TWEET TWEET
Prime Time Players are here!
Titus is rocking an afro and a purple jumpsuit.
"Cena you aren't the only one ready for Wrestlemania"- Titus
Apparently this isn't Titus but his uncle Rufus Pancak Patterson because he flattens fools.
Cena starts pandering to the Pittsburgh crowd and Prime Time Players won't have any of it.
Rosco and Darren try do their dance but Rufus hurts himself.
They call out John Cena and mention that no one wants to see Cena at Mania. The crowd cheers that sugestion.
They bring up Darren Young's likeness to John Cena and then mention that he should be getting a Cocoa Pebbles sponsorship! They actually did it!
This segment is so awesome that I can't do it any justice. So many great lines I couldn't even write because I was laughing so hard. Rufus/Titus and Darren were killing it.
Rufus says he would get in the ring but his gout is flaring up but Darren will challenge him.
Cena accepts and the match starts.
John Cena vs Darren Young
Cena takes early control and is taking it to Young.
He hits a bulldog and tries to lock in the STF but Rufus pulls Darren out of the ring as we head to break.
Back from break and Cena is slamming Young and then hits the five knuckle shuffle.
He hits the AA while pointing at the Wrestlemania sign.
John Cena wins by pinfall.
Recap of the Shield, Mark Henry, and Ryback on Smackdown. By recap I mean they played essentially the entire segment.
The Ryback vs David Otunga
Ryback picks up Otunga and drives him into the corner.
Ryback is destroying Otunga with some chops and Otunga tries to fight back with some kicks.
Ryback picks up Otunga and spins him around for a slam.
Spinebuster from Ryback and he follows up with a big clothesline.
Shellshock for the pin.
Ryback wins by pinfall.
Ryback on the mic and he says that at Wrestlemania the Shield is going to be destroyed. He says that he will take care of Mark Henry before Mania.
"Together we scream- Feed Me More"
Henry out now, but Vickie and Teddy Long stop him.
Teddy says that Henry better not go down to the ring yet.
Vickie says that Ryback is out of the six-man tag match and will face off with Mark Henry at Mania. The Hoss Fight is back on!
Ryback pounds his chest and then gives Otunga another Shellshock while saying "This will be you!"
Mark Henry is not impressed.
I hope I breathed enough A's into it.
Fandango makes his entrance and above the ring a giant light up outline of him is there.
Khali tries dancing in the ring but Fandango interrupts him. He wants the "beautiful, Canadian slice of heaven Natalya" to give it a try. He is really putting the moves on her.
She starts to but sends Khali after him. Fandango bails right away.
Fandango getting some major heat from the crowd.
R-Truth vs Damien Sandow
Sandow has his music stopped and quotes Thoreau about truth. "He is rolling over in his grave with that man in the ring calling himself Truth. The R obviously stands for repugnant. You're Welcome."
Now R-Truth is talking about Thoreau now and says a little poem himself.
Bell rings and Damien opens up with some knees to Truth.
Chin lock by Sandow but Truth fights out and goes for a roll up. Two count.
Sandow with some kicks and a suplex to Truth. Follows up with another chin lock that Truth fights out of.
Sandow with a slam and then the Elbow of Disdain for a nearfall.
Truth making a comeback and hits Sandow with a series of punches and a hurricarana.
Truth with some kicks and a Lie Detector but Sandow rolls out of the ring.
Sandow makes his way to the back and is backstage before the count hits ten.
R-Truth wins by count out.
Cody Rhodes with the Bella Twins in the back. They are hanging all over him.
Kaitlyn comes in and tells Cody that she can't hang out later.
Bellas say that no ones cares and Kaitlyn makes a mustache joke on all of them before leaving.
GONG! GONG! GONG! GONG!
Here comes the Undertaker to walk down to the ring. I'll be back in twenty minutes while he does that.
Taker with the mic.
"Punk, last week you sealed your own fate when you made this personal"
Taker promising to hurt Punk bad at Mania.
He demands the urn back.
Punk is on the jumbotron and doing a Paul Bearer impression using the urn.
He is acting like the urn is talking to him.
Punk says that despite the Taker's legendary capabilites at Mania, he will go down because Punk is a higher power.
He says he will beat the streak while doing a Globetrotters routine with the urn the entire time.
Punk is so good.
At the end of the promo he finally drops the urn with an "Oh Shit!".
Hell No vs Primo and Epico
Kane opens up on Primo and beats him senseless until Primo rolls out of the ring.
Bryan tags himself in but gets blindsided by Primo as he tries to calm down his partner.
Bryan with kicks in the corner to Primo.
Primo tries a springboard roll up but only gets a one count.
Daniel Bryan with an arm drag into a hammer lock.
Back body drop to Primo and Epico provides a distraction that allows Primo to get a good shot in.
Primo and Epico exchange some tags as the beat on Bryan in the corner.
Bryan tries to fight out but Primo and Epico are keeping him isolated.
Primo with a chin lock on Bryan in the middle of the ring and Bryan is able to fight out and gets the hot tag.
Kane is wrecking Primo.
Kane off the top rope and gets ready to hit a clothesline but AJ Lee makes her way down to the ring to skip around.
Primo takes advantage and goes for a roll up but only gets a two count.
Kane hits a chokeslam for the win.
Hell No wins by pinfall.
Bryan is yelling at AJ before she skips off.
Josh Matthews in the back with Chris Jericho.
He is talking up his history with the IC title and Fandango enters the scene.
He starts pronouncing his name for Jericho.
Jericho says about six rapid fire riffs on Fandango's name.
Fandango says that Jericho will learn to say it right and walks off.
"Don't go away. I need movie tickets."-Jericho
Cody Rhodes vs Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio and Rhodes with some chain wrestling.
Rhodes takes control and whip Del Rio into the corner. Hits him with some elbows.
Del Rio fights back and hits a big drop on Rhodes.
Rhodes blacks Del Rio's suplex attempt and hits on of his own.
Rhodes with a front head lock but Del Rio fights out with a back body drop.
Del Rio tries to spear Rhodes in the corner but Rhodes dodges and Del Rio hits the post hard.
Rhodes with a couple of slams but Del Rio is able to fight back and toss Rhodes from the ring as we head to break.
Back from break and Rhodes is in control in the ring.
Del Rio is able to stop Rhodes assault and goes for a moonsault but Rhodes rolls out of the way and Del Rio lands standing up onto his injured knee.
Rhodes goes for the pin but only gets a two count.
Del Rio is able to counter Rhodes and goes up top. Rhodes follows him and tries for a superplex but Del Rio counters with a slam from the top rope.
Del Rio with some clothesline and into a tilt a whirl back breaker. Follows it up with the Superkick for the two count.
Del Rio tries for the armbar but Cody counters and hits a moonsault of his own for a two count.
Rhodes gets caught up in the ropes and Del Rio takes advantage with a backstabber.
Rhodes tries for a clothesline but Del Rio counters with an arm bar for the win.
Del Rio wins by submission.
Swagger enters the ring and starts to beat down Del Rio. Ricardo tries to make the save but gets tossed out of the ring.
The distraction was enough for Del Rio to recover and he starts to trade punches with Swagger.
They end up on the outside and Del Rio puts Swagger into the barricade.
Coulter tries to cheer on Swagger but gets Del Rio's attention instead.
Del Rio grabs Coulter but Swagger has recovered and tosses Del Rio into the steps.
"Don't lay your hands on him!"
He then slams Del Rio into the announcers table.
He starts to walk to the back but notices Ricardo is still there. He puts on the Patriot Lock and Ricardo is selling the results like someone sawed off his foot.
WWE Hall of Fame Announcement
CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKA!!!!!
Congratulations to Booker T.
This class just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Orton and Sheamus vs 3MB (Slater and McIntyre)
Sheamus opens up against McIntyre.
Quick couple of slams from Sheamus and he tags in Orton.
Orton with a drop kick and some punches before tagging Sheamus back in.
McIntyre is able to get Sheamus to the corner and Slater tags in.
After some quick offense, McIntyre tags back in and hits Sheamus with a big boot.
Slater and McIntyre continue to exchange quick tags and offense.
Sheamus finally gets the tag into Orton, who hits Slater with a scoop slam.
Orton with the draping DDT.
Sheamus Brogue Kicks McIntyre and Mahal to save Orton.
Orton hits the RKO on Slater for the win.
Sheamus and Orton win by pinfall.
Shields music hits and they encircle the ring.
Big Show comes and joins Orton and Sheamus in the ring.
Shield decides to retreat.
Big Show points to the Mania sign and makes his way to the back.
Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston
Wristlocks exchanged between the two.
Kingston hits a series of arm drags on Ziggler.
Ziggler with some knees and whips Kingston into the corner.
Follows up with a headstand headlock.
Goes for a splash in the corner but Kofi dodges it.
Dropkick from Kofi.
Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold but Kofi counters into a russian leg sweep.
Kofi hits a springboard splash.
Kofi goes for the Trouble in Paradise but Ziggler counters.
Kofi recovers and nails Ziggler with a kick to the head.
He tries to go up top but AJ distracts the ref and Big E Langston strikes.
Ziggler with the Zig Zag for the win.
Dolph Ziggler wins by pinfall.
Kane and Daniel Bryan come out.
Hell No challenges Ziggler and Big E to a tag match at Wrestlemania.
AJ accepts on their behalf if only it is for the Tag Titles at Wrestlemania.
Hell No agrees to those conditions.
Intercontinental Championship Match: Wade Barrett (c) vs Chris Jericho vs The Miz
Barrett and Jericho exchange some blows. Jericho ends up sending Barrett to the outside.
Miz tries for a roll up on Jericho but only gets a one count.
Jericho sends Miz out and Jericho hits a springboard splash to the outside on both of them.
Jericho drags Barrett into the ring and continues to work him over until Miz trips him from the outside.
Miz working over Barrett but the champ is able to to fight back.
Barrett and Miz on the turnbuckle with Barrett wanting a superplex.
Jericho recovers and hits a power bomb on Barrett who simultaneously hits a superplex on Miz!
All men are down as we head to break.
Back from break and Barrett is sending Miz to the outside.
Jericho hitting Barretts with some chops, but he gets hit with a knee to the gut.
Barrett and Jericho are exchanging strikes.
Jericho with some should blocks and then he goes up top and hits a splash.
After a running bulldog, Jericho goes for the lionsault but Miz interferes.
Barrett with the Winds of Change.
Barrett tries to follow up but Miz counters into the Figure Four.
Jericho with a lionsault to break it up! Two count on Miz.
Barrett tries to clothesline Jericho, but Jericho counters into the Walls.
After a good thirty seconds, Miz breaks the submission.
Barrett gets sent to the outside and Jericho hits the Code Breaker!
Jericho tries for the pinfall but Barrett breaks the count.
Jericho puts Barrett into the barrier and tries for it again but only gets a two count.
Miz with a DDT for the nearfall.
Jericho hits a spingboard drop kick to Barrett and eats a kick from Miz.
Jericho tries a roll up but only gets a two count.
Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale and tries for the pin but Barrett rolls him up for the win!
Wade Barrett wins and retains as Intercontinental Champion.
After five minutes of HHH's entrance, Heyman comes down to the ring with three security guards.
HHH is upset that Lesnar won't come face him like a man.
Heyman says that Lesnar isn't afraid, but Heyman is afraid.
Heyman says that HHH is backed into a corner.
HHH doesn't care about not knowing the stipulations. He is going to "kick Lesnar's ass regardless"
Heyman decides to relish the moment and shows a replay of the Lesnar-HHH brawl.
Heyman jokes that the matches will have HHH blindfolded or HHH shackled.
Then Heyman says that to make it personal the winner gets Stephanie.
"Actually it should be that the loser gets Stephanie"
HHH snaps and lays into Heyman and the security. He cleans out the security and starts slapping Heyman repeatedly and torturing him. Heyman is bleeding.
HHH signs the contract and tosses Heyman out of the ring.
Lesnar comes out and is slamming a chair into the stage. He is rampaging.
HHH reveals that he has a sledgehammer and Lesnar is just smiling as Heyman stops him from getting in the ring.
Lesnar throws the chair into the ring and starts pacing around the ring.
Heyman finally corrals Lesnar to the stage and gets on the mic.
"That beating was worth it to get your signature."
Heyman announces it will be a No Holds Barred match with the stipulation that HHH's career will be on the line.
Fade to black.
That's all folks. See you next week.