"My name is Zack Ryder. Some of you may know me as The Broski. Some of you may know me as the 'woo woo woo' guy. But some of you may not know me at all.
"After spending my entire life dreaming of one day becoming a WWE superstar, I made my debut on May 1, 2007. And for three-and-a-half years, all I heard from my friends and family was how proud they were of me for 'living the dream'. But in reality I was living a lie.
"My dream wasn't to just be on the roster. My dream wasn't just to have an action figure. And my dream wasn't to walk into an arena on a Monday afternoon and cross my fingers that I would be on Raw. My dream was to be the WWE champion. My dream was to main event Raw, pay-per-views, WrestleMania.
"So after three-and-a-half years of scratching and clawing, I created my own opportunity. In February 2011 I started a YouTube show called Z True Long Island Story and within a few months the Ryder Revolution took over the WWE. There were Zack Ryder signs everywhere, 'we want Ryder' chants at shows I wasn't even at, and I became the Internet champion.
"Okay, okay, okay, so I made that title. But by the end of the year, I won the WWE United States championship. I was finally living the dream. But over the past two years, my dream has turned into a nightmare. I've seen all my hard work and all my progress go down the drain. I went from having sold out arenas like Madison Square Garden fist pumping and chanting 'woo woo woo' to now when I walk through the curtain people ask 'who who who'. I went from having more merchandise than I could ever imagine to having to make my own t-shirt. I am back at the bottom.
"So now what? The way I see it I have two options. I can either look in the mirror and say 'Hey, Zack, it was a decent run' and just sit back and collect a paycheck until my contract is up. Or I can go out swinging and fight back again.
"See with Z True Long Island Story, I had lighting in a bottle. And you know what they say, 'lightning doesn't strike twice'. Well who is 'they'? You've witnessed the Ryder Revolution, now it's time for the Ryder Evolution.
"So with that being said, once again, I am your host, Long Island Iced Z, Zack Ryder. But this isn't another happy-go-lucky Z True Long Island Story. This is my Last Rezort. Woo woo woo, you know it."