TNA Impact returned to Spike TV last night (Feb. 6, 2014) from Glasgow, Scotland, featuring Dixie Carter verbally sparring with MVP in a boring battle for control of the company that no one has seemingly been in control of for the entirety of its existence.
Let's just get right to reactions:
- I love the idea of a show coming on the air and there already being a match taking place, as though the confines of a television show can't hold two guys back from going at each other's throats. There's an entirely different conversation to have about those parameters and how they affect booking and what not -- especially with TNA constantly flirting with the show itself as a storyline -- but this is a simple way to present a "big" match between Eric Young and Abyss. Relatively speaking, of course.
- So, really, Young wanted this last match so he could unmask Abyss to reveal Joseph Park and the man himself could see who he really is and react to it accordingly. His reaction? Shock and surprise. This is the kind of thing that might work in a movie, but traditionally fails to get over in a pro wrestling setting.
- Best line ever: Bobby Roode scoffs at the idea of working a match against Samoa Joe because "he's been eating guys up lately". Dixie Carter's response? "You don't need to be worrying about his diet right now". If this was on purpose, it's the best thing on TNA TV in years. If it wasn't, it's the best thing on TNA TV in forever.
- I like MVP but this storyline stinks out loud and though he's a solid promo, he's not going to save it from its own suck. They're running a storyline, that Dixie can't manage the company properly, that is currently playing out in real life. Like, this is a real thing that is happening right now. It's amazing for all the wrong reasons.
- Rockstar Spud was born for TNA.
- Bully Ray quoted a line -- "As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left" -- from "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio. That song was first released in 1995. Yes, it's one of the best selling singles of all time, but it's 2014 now. Actually, surveying the musical landscape of today, this might have been the right place to find some inspiration.
- Ray is still an intriguing character, it's just too bad he's been wasting away with the likes of Aces and 8's and now a blood feud with Mr. Anderson. Stock storytelling here with Curry Man getting dumped in a casket to symbolize Anderson's pending fate, but good enough.
- By the way, 47 minutes into the show and we've gotten one match.
- Is Austin Aries the only babyface who consistently gets pissed at crowds for loudly chanting his name?
- Actually really liked the way Aries was booked last night. The Bro Mans try to assist Zema Ion with a nice distraction to give him the edge to win the X Division title but Aries not only overcomes but dominates, looking like the strongest champion on the roster. Great way to handle everyone involved here, and Aries legitimately carries himself like a big time star.
- Well, at least they bothered to acknowledge that Christy Hemme watches the program and has seen all these creepy videos with Sam Shaw being a psychotic piece of wacko in a "Dexter" outfit. So there's that. I still don't know how to feel about the character.
- Magnus' run as champion now includes two wins with so much interference Vince Russo thought it was overkill, a clean loss in a tag match, and a disqualification loss where he was booked to bail out of a match so EC3 could beat Kurt Angle down for an injury angle. What was the point of having Sting put him over so big at Bound for Glory again?
- Speaking of Angle, it's hard to watch him wrestle knowing the kind of shape he's in, which is no shape at all. This is a man who should be working as an ambassador for a company that requires next to no physical activity. He's crazy if he thinks WWE is going to bring him back when his TNA contract expires later this year and actually let him wrestle. I wonder if he still wants to after CM Punk left.
- Is it a requirement that all cameras in the backstage TNA area be out of focus? Is it supposed to be amateur hour?
- Normally, a fat man breathing heavy wouldn't intimidate anyone but Samoa Joe makes it work.
- The Chris Sabin/Velvet Sky story is the worst. I get that the idea is to set up Sabin being abusive so Sky can get revenge, but the way this has been written gives no confidence for that. The whole thing is incredibly sexist and uncomfortable.
- Joe vs. Bobby Roode should have been a much better match, and it probably would have been but remember, they had to get Dixie Carter out on TV to close the show in a talking segment. What's worse, that talking segment sucked. The power struggle angles are played out.
These shows are improved greatly by taking place in front of hot crowds overseas, but the storylines are still mostly awful all over the place. There's talent and potential here, it just isn't being used in a way that entertains.
Grade: D
That's it from me, Cagesiders. Now it's your turn to sound off in the comments section below with all your thoughts on last night's show. How did you like it, if you liked it at all?