TNA Impact comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (June 27, 2013) from Peoria, Illinois, featuring the continuation of the Bound for Glory Series, Sting and Kurt Angle adding another member to the recently reformed Main Event Mafia, a Knockout's championship match between titleholder Mickie James and top contender Velvet Sky, an X Division championship match pitting Chris Sabin vs. Suicide vs. Kenny King, and much, much more.
Spoilers are readily available if you're the impatient type..
But if you would rather wait and follow along with the live blog as it all goes down, come right back here at 9 p.m. ET to check for updates from the show set to air on Spike TV.
TNA IMPACT RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR JUNE 27
So, I'm totally late to the party. Sorry!
Chris Sabin was celebrating over Suicide and Kenny King on the outside. Might have just missed a high spot in the match as they headed into break.
Sabin vs. Suicide vs. King
All week long, TNA has played up the fact that we'll learn the identity of Suicide. They even gave away that he won the result of this match for it, which I won't do until it airs.
For his part, Suicide is using a lot of exaggerated mannerisms to play up the character.
Whoa, nice spot with Sabin hitting a superplex on Suicide while King hit a powerbomb on Sabin. He only got a two count on it, though.
Sabin fights back enough to hit his finisher on King but Suicide finds his way back in to break it up. In typical triple threat fashion, Sabin is sent to the outside to sell so the other two can work back in the ring.
The finish was really disjointed with Suicide pinning King using the ropes as leverage before Sabin could get in to stop it. Suicide wins the X Division title and the ability to cash in for his shot at Bully Ray at Destination X.
Before Suicide can leave the ring, Hulk Hogan's music hits.
He's out with a guy named TJ Perkins, who is keeled over and selling big like he was jumped. Hogan says he's been working for years to put food on the table for his family. He is the real Suicide, until today, when he got jumped and had his suit stolen.
"There's nothing I hate more than someone cheating to get to the top," Hogan says.
That's a real thing HULK FREAKING HOGAN just said.
Hogan demands Suicide take off his mask and reveal who he is to the world but instead of doing that, Suicide runs out through the crowd.
Pre-tape with Hogan saying he doesn't care who he is or anything like that, he just cares that Suicide be unmasked. He's giving him until the end of the night to unmask.
Gut Check time and they're profiling Ryan Howe. Oh dear god, it's the blonde awkward dude from Tough Enough that Stone Cold Steve Austin absolutely destroyed. His gimmick is that he's a musician along with being a pro wrestler.
Oh my god, he's walking out to the ring playing an electric guitar. This is the worst thing ever.
His opponent is Adam Ohriner, who you may or may not know as "The Big O" from Zack Ryder's Z! True Long Island Story fame. This is such a TNA thing to do.
Howe vs. Ohriner
The match isn't completely offensive, though Howe came up short on a cross body off the top rope that looked ugly. He recovered when he rolled through for a pinfall attempt.
Ohriner's selling is really something else. He's getting hit by dropkicks and just falling backwards really stiffly. Oh man, this is getting really bad.
Surprisingly enough, he hits a power slam and gets the three count.
Pre-tape of Bully Ray walking up on TJ Perkins in the locker room.
"TJ, do you know who I am? What a stupid question, of course you know who I am."
Ray asks Perkins if Kurt Angle and Sting put him up to anything tonight. TJ says no and Bully quickly gets pissed while still acting nice. He asks the question again, only this time he gets in the little dude's face.
Perkins stands up and Ray, growing increasingly frustrated while trying to keep a brave face to mask his insecurities over what Sting is doing with the Main Event Mafia, stops him with a strong slap/grab of his arm to assert his dominance before allowing him to leave.
Great stuff from Ray there.
Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky
I love that TNA has the confidence in the ladies to put them in this time slot at the top of the second hour.
Mickie has one hell of an outfit on for this match. She's showing as much skin as possible with some shorts that are way too short. She gets on the mic before they start and acts like she really cares about Velvet, saying she'll give her one more chance to back out of the match. She knows the title makes people act strange, but no one wants to see her get hurt.
Of course she doesn't walk away, instead opening the match with a spear.
The two have a decent match, nothing special, that ends when Mickie applies a submission hold that gets the tap. She retains her Knockouts title.
Christy Hemme tries to get an interview with Sky after the match. The crowd turns on her and chants "you tapped out." She cries and says she thought her knee was okay but apparently she hurt herself again in the submission loss.
She takes a long while to get to the back while Tazz craps on her on commentary.
A replay shows the opening segment was Sting and Kurt Angle out to say they were going to recruit one more member to the Mafia before the night ends.
That leads to a backstage bit where Bobby Roode walks past them, stops, smiles, and continues walking. Sting and Angle share a smile and a nod of the head.
That leads into the next bout, a Bound for Glory Series match.
Bobby Roode vs. Magnus
Boy, this crowd is rather hot for Magnus. This is long into the taping too, so they've seen plenty of wrestling and most of the guys positioned as bigger stars on the roster.
Surprisingly enough, Magnus gets the pinfall victory to score 7 more points in what Mike Tenay calls "a major upset" that is likely "the biggest win in Magnus' career."
Bully Ray and the Aces and 8s invade another locker room area where Ray and his goons question Chavo Guerrero, Robbie E, and Jesse. None of them know anything about Suicide.
And none of them have spoken with Angle or Sting.
Ray threatens all of them with great bodily harm if he finds out they're lying to him.
Quick cut to the ring and James Storm is in there with Gunner with a microphone in his hand. He's cutting a promo talking about scientists and drinking beer and pretty girls.
Yeah, I don't know either.
He goes on to say he knows you don't have to like your tag team partner, you just have to come to work and do your job and good things will happen. That's why he chose Gunner and now here they are, the tag team champions.
Before he can go on, a terrible theme song comes over the speakers and Robbie E and Jesse come walking out to the ring shirtless wearing jeans and being escorted by Tara.
I guess we've got a new tag team?
Robbie says Storm made a big mistake by not picking him but it's too late now. The train has already sailed down the road, bro.
He claims he and Jesse are the future of tag team wrestling.
Oh my god, he names the tag team "The Bromance."
Storm immediately goes to make fun of that and Robbie E cuts him off, saying that's not what he said.
Robbie repeats himself and Storm says he could have sworn he said Bromance again.
Jesse hops on the mic and says it's two words, and I think he's saying "Bro Mans."
Jesse starts talking up Tara and Storm interrupts to call her a butter face. This leads to Jesse trying to attack him but Gunner just straight up drops Jesse with one shot, making him look like a complete dork.
Robbie E pulls him out of the ring while Tara tends to him and the segment dies a slow death. The crowd chants "bor-ing" and Storm goes home with his "sorry about your damn luck" catchphrase.
That was painful.
Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe
This is a Bound for Glory Series match.
I love Joe's offense sometimes. That dropkick he does, where he lands with only one foot, barely touches his opponent, and falls straight to his back, has to be the most unintentionally hilarious offensive maneuvers in pro wrestling.
Naturally, the match can't reach a finish without Aces and 8s making their presence felt. Doc and Knux attempt to assist Anderson but out come Sting and Angle in their mob attire and they put the boots to the crew.
This allows Joe to get a rear-naked choke locked in for a submission victory, which gives him 10 points in the BFG Series.
Sting and Angle hop in the ring and the Stinger grabs a hole of Joe before Angle gives him a hug. Sting gives him one too and Joe starts throwing up signs. He is the newest member of the Main Event Mafia.
We'll close the show with Hogan coming out to figure out Suicide's identity.
Oh god, Hogan just walked out beating his chest like a gorilla. This man knows no shame, ladies and sirs. He's eating up the crowd reaction, though, and you can't blame him for it. He's been in the business since your dad's dad was a kid but he still gets great reactions from fans all over the world.
I just don't understand it.
Anyway, he's talking about tonight and how it was supposed to be all about the X Division champion leading to a potential title challenger at Destination X. But instead it's all about a mystery.
He calls out Suicide and here comes the man in red and black. Hogan starts cutting a promo talking about all his accolades, how he slammed a Giant and how he chopped down mountains with the edge of his hand and won the world title from Iron Sheik without cheating and all this other nonsense.
Eventually, he gets around to asking Suicide to unmask. The answer he gets is an emphatic shake of the head.
That brings out Bully Ray, who calls Hogan "dad" and says for the first time in a long time, the two of them are on the same page. He demands Suicide unmask. "Walk away. You don't want any piece of me. I'm a bad person who does bad things. Put your tail between your legs and leave."
Ray is so great.
Both Hogan and Ray continue demanding he unmask. Suicide has a mic and he's talking through a voice distorting device. He's talking about coming from darkness or some other shit like that.
"Bully, you come out here and ask everyone if they know who you are. But the real question is do you know who I am. Well, you should. Because I'm a man who beat you once before. I'm a man -- unmasks to reveal Austin Aries -- who won Option C. I'm the man who will win the heavyweight title.
The show goes off the air with Aries looking devilishly on while Hogan and Ray are shocked.