TNA Impact Wrestling comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (May 2, 2013) from the Kovalchick Convention and Athletic Complex in Indiana, Pennsylvania. Tonight, "The Road to Slammiversary World Tour" continues, featuring the following matches:
Chris Sabin vs. Zema Ion & Sonjay Dutt, Rob Terry vs. Joey Ryan, Robbie E & Jesse Godderz, Kurt Angle vs. D-Lo Brown, Taryn Terrell & Mickie James vs. Tara & Gail Kim, and Sting vs. Matt Morgan.
It all goes down tonight starting at 8 p.m. ET on Spike TV, so remember to check back right here to follow along with the live blog as it all goes down.
TNA IMPACT RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAY 2
Broadcast is live.
I'm back in the saddle, at least for this week, so let's do this thing, y'all.
Naturally, we start with Hulk Hogan.
The announcers put over how he's the last great hope to stop the insanely devastating stable that is Aces and 8s. Yeah, cause this is such a great idea and all that. Oh and don't forget about the other geriatric star on the TNA roster, Sting, and how he's back to being the old character he was in the late 1990s.
Hogan wastes no time calling Sting out to the ring.
He starts in on the Stinger by saying last week was really ugly and they almost came to blows. But before he goes down that road, he wants to say he knows when he's right and when he's wrong. He got caught up in a lot of his personal behavior and when it came to judging people and making choices,he was wrong.
Hogan then admits he made the biggest mistake by pushing Sting away, and he wants to apologize for it. He does so by reaching his hand out and Sting takes it while nodding.
Hogan keeps putting him over, saying they should have been working together to get rid of Aces and 8s.
Sting speaks now, completely forgiving of everything Hogan did. He asks Hulk if he can put together a team to square off against the heels for a six-man tag match. Hogan agrees and once again, we'll get a wild goose chase for who will partner with Sting.
Don't we see this like once a month?
Anyway, Matt Morgan's music hits just as Hogan is talking about finding an opponent for Bully Ray for Slammiversary for the TNA heavyweight title.
Morgan yells at Hogan that he knows he's just going to give Sting the world title shot and hasn't he learned anything from the Bully situation yet?
Hogan has learned, actually, and the way he's going to prove that is by making people earn shots instead of just giving them up. I actually like that they acknowledged that.
Hogan sets up Morgan vs. Sting for the main event tonight and the winner gets Ray for the title at Slammiversary.
We get the video package of Chris Sabin doing an interview talking about his knee injury and recovery, all leading to his big return tonight after being away for months and months.
He's rocking a longer haircut and looking worn.
They push the fact that he tore two ACLs and went through 24 months of rehab to get here. It's actually a pretty good video hyping his return to action. The only problem?
He's still only Chris Sabin.
His match is up next.
Chris Sabin vs. Zema Ion vs. Sonjay Dutt
They introduced Dutt while Ion was making his entrance. You would think they could pull this off without having to worry about such things seeing as this was taped a week ago.
Sabin gets a good pop for his entrance, and he jumps over the top rope and into the ring, presumably to show that his knee is okay.
The match didn't run very long, but Sabin got the chance to prove his knee is fine and there's no ring rust and sure as shit, that's what he did. He ended up winning by pinning Ion. It was a fine match for the short amount of time they had to work with.
Robbie E backstage yakking with Jesse and they're trying to figure out how to deal with Robbie T, or Rob Terry these days. Jesse brings up Joey Ryan and says something about sleazy and things being easy.
Robbie gets upset because those words don't even rhyme, bro.
Jesse walks off.
Pre-tape showing Bully Ray yelling at an unfocused Aces and 8s, telling them to focus on the fact that Hogan and Sting were trying to mess with them and make them look bad at the start of the show.
No one makes fun of Aces and 8s.
Ray turns his attention to Kurt Angle and how he's been a nuisance to the group. He wants someone to step up to take him out and Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff fight over it for a second before D-Lo Brown steps in and says he'll get the job done.
Ray makes him swear his colors on it.
Time for the handicap match.
Robbie E, Joey Ryan, & Jesse vs. Rob Terry
You can guess the story to this match. Short and to the point, Terry overcame a brief bit of offense from the heels to win convincingly, with Ryan the guy eating the pinfall. The other two literally crawled up the ramp by butt scooting backwards.
Bobby Roode and Austin Aries out for a promo.
Roode tells Bad Influence that he was tempted very briefly by the idea of reforming Fortune but he knows Christopher Daniels and Kazarian were simply trying to screw up A-Double and the "It Factor."
He sees right through it and all that.
Aries hops on the microphone and says Daniels and Kaz actually like each other, to the point that they're the best of friends. Roode and Aries, meanwhile, can hardly stand each other but they're champions, so they came together for a common cause.
This brings out Bad Influence.
Daniels says that yes, it was all about the tag team titles. But to be clear, no one has any increased blood flow in the genital area because of Roode and Aries.
He goes on to say, spoiler alert, they're the future tag team champions. Roode gives a spoiler alert of his own and says he's the guy who cracked his best friend over the head with a beer bottle to win the world heavyweight title. Kazarian gets his turn and he calls Roode and Aries "Bad Influence Lite."
Suddenly, Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez's music hits and the crowd goes mild.
They announce Hulk Hogan made a special guest referee for their number one contender match next week and it's James Storm, who has all that history with all the guys in the ring.
He's wearing a shirt, by the way, that says "I drink beer with your mom while your dad watches."
Sting finds Kurt Angle and asks if he's ready for his match tonight. Angle says he most certainly is and Sting responds by saying he needs a minute of his time.
Then he turns around and tells the camera to back off.
This is, of course, Sting asking Angle to be his partner. Not sure why that's a secret or why that means they have to acknowledge the camera's presence.
Kurt Angle vs. D-Lo Brown
Before they get started, Brown gets on the mic and says now that he's in front of Angle, he realizes he needs to do more than just win a match against him. He needs to brutally take him out.
So he wants it to be an I Quit match. He asks "you good with that, Angle?" and then sucker punches him in the head before the referee rings the bell.
So Brown just booked an I Quit match on his own and Angle didn't even get the chance to say anything about it and now the match is going to happen because D-Lo said so?
The match went about 10 minutes or so and Angle used the Ankle Lock to get Brown to say "I quit." He tapped first but gave in not long after. The Aces and 8s members who were sitting ringside elected to get up and walk out.
Brown leaving the group?
Post-match interview sees Angle say he won a battle in the war with Aces and 8s but he's got his mind on somebody else and that's AJ Styles.
"Get your butt out here."
And then they go to commercial. Nice.
Back they come and Styles makes his way out. Angle says he looks like he wants to punch him in the face and take his head off but they're in his hometown, so he wouldn't get far if he tried to pull something.
Big pop for that.
Angle says Styles going with Aces and 8s would be the easy way but that's not AJ's ... style.
Yeah, he did it and I had to as well. Shut up.
Angle now claiming he came to TNA because of Styles and he wants AJ to make a choice to join the good guys as his partner alongside Sting.
Why was Sting's meeting secret then? Seriously, what was the point of that?
Styles stares off into the distance while Angle walks away.
Pre-tape interview with a shirtless Matt Morgan. The unseen interviewer asks about how long he's been waiting for his shot at the title and Morgan snaps at the usage of the word "waiting."
"Waiting? How about pissed off. How about frustrated. I've been waiting plenty for Hogan to do the right freaking thing since he came here. Look at me. I'm the walking, talking franchise of any wrestling company."
No. He's a walking, talking example of how much size matters to the decision makers at the two major companies in the industry right now.
He smacks a fence while making distinctly Hulk Hogan sounding noises before walking off.
Knockouts tag match up next.
Taryn Terrell is really, really happy to be here. Her smile is so wide, I'm pretty sure her jaw is broken. She makes me think of that character from Friends played by Alec Baldwin that Phoebe briefly dated and everyone hated because he was so relentlessly positive about everything.
Good idea for a gimmick perhaps? Nah, not sure how that would ever work in practice, at least on a pro wrestling show.
Taryn Terrell & Mickie James vs. Tara & Gail Kim
By the way, congratulations to Tara for her Widow's Peak submission advancing to the Round of 32 with a stunning upset of the three-seeded Razor's Edge. Anytime you can beat "The Bad Guy," it's a good day.
I've seen two instances tonight now where an armbar was used and Tazz referred to it as the Cross Armbreaker, notable for being Alberto Del Rio's finisher. Mickie was the one who used it in this match.
The match was a traditional tag team affair. The babyfaces had the edge early, the heels gained control and dominated for most of the rest of the way, and just when it looked like hope was lost, a hot tag from James to Terrell turned the tide and he got the pinfall on Tara.
After the match, James and Tara brawl up the ramp while Kim goes to work on Terrell in the ring. The segment ends with Kim doing the Figure Four through the ring post.
Backstage and Bully Ray is incredulous at the fact that the Vice President of Aces and 8s actually said the words "I quit," especially after swearing his colors.
Mr. Anderson brings up the fact that Brown pushed aside both Brisco and Bischoff.
Bully then proceeds to choose the three guys from the crew who will take on Sting's team next week and he goes with himself, Devon, and Anderson.
Another interview, this time with Roode and Aries.
Roode puts down Daniels and Kazarian by saying they've never held the most important title in the industry, the TNA heavyweight title. Aries nods along with this without speaking.
It's stock from there. The former world champs will beat Bad Influence next week and go on to win the tag team titles.
Now it's main event time.
Matt Morgan vs. Sting
I've missed a lot of this match thanks to some issues here at home but coming back in, it looks like Morgan has been doing his thing and Sting has been selling for him to set up his comeback.
He's still wrestling in a shirt, by the way. I guess he either can't get himself back into acceptable shape or some of those insecurities just won't go away.
Then again, why should I care?
From what I've seen so far, this match is awful. Sting was never that good, he's downright bad now. He's got Morgan in the Scorpion Death Lock and it looks terrible. Like, embarrassingly bad. Morgan gets to the ropes and Sting lets the hold go quicker than anyone ever has because he knew how bad it was locked in.
Oh god, he's hooking it in again back in the center of the ring. It looks a lot better this time, at least, with Sting really sitting down on it. He's not literally sitting down, actually. Ass to ass, folks.
Morgan is selling like he's dead and that's how they end the match. Morgan didn't tap, he passed out from the pain.
Not sure why they went this route unless Morgan is turning soon, but that wouldn't make any sense.
Aces and 8s show up to surround the ring while Sting is still in there. The show ends with Ray staring down Sting and shouting at him about something or other.