TNA Impact Wrestling comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (May 16, 2013) from Tupelo, Mississippi. Tonight's episode features the World Title contract signing between Bully Ray and Sting for their main event bout at Slammiversary. For more on the events taking place tonight, check out our Impact Spoilers and our Impact Preview.
It all goes down tonight starting at 8 p.m. ET on Spike TV, so remember to check back right here to follow along with the live blog as it all goes down.
Reminder: Beginning May 30, IMPACT moves back to its old time at 9/8c on Spike TV! Thursdays at 8/7C until then!
TNA IMPACT RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAY 16
J.M. Williams (June) here. Internet problems have been keeping the General on his toes, so here I am to give this a go.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Bobby Roode:
Joining you at 7:22 p.m. CT, during Chavo v Roode. The competitors are trading heavy blows in the center of the ring. Chavo is eventually tossed over the ropes and onto the apron, but recovers and heads right back in.
And, to the corner they go, exchanging corner blows. Chavo now has Roode on his back. We then go to the top of the turnbuckle and Chavo fails miserably, falling to the outside mats and nursing an "injured" shoulder? On the other hand, is it elbow, or arm?
Then we have Cowboy coming down the ramp, swaggering out to the ring with his customary bottle of brew, which he swigs and then spit blows right into Roode's face! Meanwhile, Chavo is counted out on a DQ, as he never returned to the ring, still nursing his "injuries" on the mats, while Roode lies in the ring, on the ropes, wiping "beer" out of his eyes.
Cowboy turns and walks away and we cut to Angle backstage.
Backstage we have Kurt Angle headed out to the ring, likely to call out AJ styles, after the commercial break. Then a recap of the action last week with segments featuring Aces & Eights and Kurt Angle.
Angle comes out after the break, moving oh so slowly of course, but not looking too shabby for a man of his age.
Angle cuts his promo on AJ Styles, stating that he, "Wants to kick AJ's ass RIGHT NOW, here in Tupelo, Mississippi!" He gets a cheap little pop from the crowd for the hometown shout out. Moreover, he says Styles shouldn't walk away from a fight for a second week in a row.
The former Olympian then makes sure to add that he has never, and would never, walk away from a fight and can no longer trust anyone in the locker room these days.
Anderson of Aces & Eights interrupts Angle. He claims he sounds like a woman, that he needs to get it through his thick skull that AJ is not his boy. Anderson is happy to announce that AJ will be "patched in" on Thursday in Tampa Bay. He then "double-dog-dares" Kurt to show up to this ceremony and get destroyed.
Angle claims he doesn't want to wait till next week to fight and lands a right cross on him. AJ runs out to interrupt just as Anderson hits the mats.
Angle eats a cheapshot of a dropkick to the jaw, er umm; he turns and takes that blow to the neck -- ouch -- from Styles. AJ of course puts his hood back up, says not one word, exits the arena as Anderson applauds him and Angle lies still in the ring.
York vs. Jay Bradley
York and Jay Bradley in the ring after the break (fighting for the chance to be a part of the Bound for Glory Series).
Annnnd, the cable/internet in my area also cutting out, so I just lost out on the bulk of this match...which does not appear to be such a bad thing.
As Mediacom cable cuts back in, we see York hitting Bradley with a spinning back kick, York up and countering with blows to Bradley ramming him into the corner. Jay manhandles him and throws him onto the turnbuckle taking control of the match and throwing York to the mat. Bradley hits York with his finisher (the Boomstick- umm, yeah, who named that?) and proceeds to pin him for the win.
Post match, Bradley tells Hemme he is now one-step closer to being your new TNA World Champion. Taz is on board with this but he garners a decent amount of boos from the crowd.
Backstage with Cowboy flipping his lid and then we cut to Aces & Eights looking forward to "patching in" AJ next week. They are incredibly amped up and excited to kick Joseph Park's ass tonight, apparently.
Knockouts Match: Gail Kim (challenger) vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Velvet Sky
VelVel with her signature entry over the second rope, while Kim looks on with a decent level of contempt. This is one fan who is actually looking forward to this match. Why, you ask?
Because Kim is one helluva fucking wrestler, that's why, my darling Cagesiders. Whether you compare men or women, she can hold her own in the ring with the best of them, especially for being in her mid-thirties.
Commercial / Knockouts action up next
After the break, we have Brooke Hogan speaking to Mickie James and hyping up her recent single, stating she has a beautiful voice. Brooke is also reassuring her she can have another shot at Velvet Sky next week.
Mickie takes off just as Bully Ray comes out to torment Brooke, making sure to intimidate her with his size and threaten her. (Annnd once again, my local cable and internet is cutting out here, so I lost the last portion of their encounter, sorry for that Cagesiders.)
Apparently what occurred (thanks to Cagesider Keyboard Punk) was -- Bully says, "Tell Daddy it's not going to be a contract signing, but a contract negotiation."
Brooke then wants to negotiate a divorce and Bully says, "I will never ever divorce you! Till death do us part!"
Brooke says, "Get out of my face!" and storms off. Bully smiles creepily and fade to black.
We return to cable service here with Gail and Velvet at it in the ring. Kim off the top rope with an attack on that left leg and knee. She continues to brutalize that leg, dragging her across the ring and stomping at it. She is back in the ring putting Velvet in a decent Texas Cloverleaf maneuver. ODB reffing the match, but not finding much to do here.
Velvet now reaching for the ropes. Meanwhile, Kim and ODB go at it for a moment, (seemingly to allow our Champion to compose herself -you know, since she is so slow and inept in comparison to Gail). Velvet really needs to go back to wrestling school; she is just painful to watch sometimes. Even Gail Kim cannot salvage her, she is halfway decent at lying there looking like a wounded bird.
Velvet with a clothesline to Kim then and Gail continues to work that knee. She looks to put Gail in the In Your Face, but is thrown down, only for Kim to lose her momentum and get pinned by Velvet on the 3 count. Kim attacks Velvet, pulls her to the turnbuckle, and wrenches down on her leg posting it against the turnbuckle, also Gail knocking down ODB who tries to save the Champ and eventually pulls her off and walks her out, while Velvet lays wounded in the ring.
Yeah... so, I was excited and now, well, let's just say, not so much. Gail Kim has to work at a subpar snail's pace for Velvet just to do something other than lay around holding her knee.
X-Division Championship -- X-Division Champion Kenny King defends his title against two former X-Division Champs in Petey Williams and Chris Sabin:
Williams goes one on one up against Sabin. We get the X-Cam again, much to the dismay of Cagesider, nicholal79.
King now taking on Sabin as Williams is out for the duration. King lands a nice strike to Sabin's face. Williams then flies back in over the ropes and kicks King down -- only to then go after Sabin and chase him out of the ring.
We then get King against Williams, a 2-count, an eye gouge, and blows are exchanged in the corner, King dropkicks Williams out of the ring.
Kenny now isolates Petey and goes for the pin, another 2-count, then to a neck lock (?), King pulls Williams into the ropes and over the ropes we go.
Back in the ring, we have Sabin vs. King now. Sabin really picks of the pace and locks in a nice jackknife with a bridge, but King gets out in two.
Side-Russian legsweep now from Petey against King, a cradle DDT, again King kicks out.
Sabin now in with a single punch to put Petey out of the action. Sabin on the turnbuckle, King hard with blows and then takes on Petey again.
King ready to finish Petey but gets hit with a spinning back kick and an enziguri from Sabin, who gets King upside down hung up on the corner. Petey again unsuccessful with the Canadian Destroyer, Sabin with a fireman's carry to Petey, just landing moves left and right -- Sabin is looking impressive -- and a drop kick, only for King to jump in as Sabin is over the ropes and takes advantage of the opening to swing in to pin Petey to retain his championship.
Backstage we have Appletini-time with Daniels and Kaz.
After the break, we get some Aces and Eights with some plotting and talking of working for the club not for each other going on back and forth between Garrett and Briscoe, what a waste of time that was.
Christopher Daniels vs. Hernandez:
SuperMex against one-half, the better half, of Bad Influence now. Again, cable cutting out here, I hate Mediacom cable, just saying.
Daniels now beating down SuperMex with footstomps after Hernandez made an impressive running dive at Daniels from the ramp.
Kaz trying to interfere and distract the ref throughout the match, of course, cause he is a great partner, and that is what they do. Hernandez takes control of the match now and amps the crowd up as he slams miserably into the corner post as Daniels slips out of the way at the last moment.
Storm comes out to interrupt and Hernandez takes advantage of the distraction and gets the pin. Storm happy to have assisted.
Post-match -- Storm says Hogan said to him, "Brothah, there are repercussions for your actions and so at Slammiversary Brother, the big match Brother will be Chavo & Hernandez defending their Tag Team Titles against Austin Aries & Bobby Roode... AND against Daniels & Kazarian...
-- AND another guy that knows something about tag team wrestling -- The Old Cowboy James Storm... AND -- a partner of my choice!"
"So, all I have to say to you boys is... Soooo sorry about your damn luck!"
So, we have a Slammiversary Four-way Tag Team Match in the making, and Daniels looks none too thrilled with that. Any guesses whom Storm will select as his partner, Cagesiders?
Up next after the break, we get D'Lo Brown of the Aces & Eights up against Joseph Park.
D'Lo Brown of Aces & Eights vs. Joseph Park
Park takes a knee to the gut to start the match. Taz talking plenty of smack about Joseph. Commentary really pushing D'Lo. Park comes back to land several windmill rights and lefts only to get knocked over the ropes and punched and kicked in the gut for his efforts.
Brown tosses Park into the ring by his waistband of his sweatsuit, pursues and lands a series of blows and kicks. A shining wizard, is that what they called that? Seriously? Maybe I misheard that one.
Park actually makes a comeback and gets a 2-count pin on Brown. For his trouble he gets hit hard with a cross right into the corner knocking him to the ground. D'Lo following up with repeated corner shots to the head of Park. The ref calls him off a moment. He continues right back in though with the headshots up until he has color on his knuckles.
So, yeah, Park is busted open on the forehead and "seeing red" he starts to huff and puff, "Hulking up" in his Joseph Parkish way, he is ready to blow Brown's house down.
Park comes at Brown strong now with the dual clotheslines, a corner slam, a decent body slam followed up by the pin for the 3-count.
And, a bloodied Park defeats D'Lo Brown. He now gets to have his match against Devon anytime he wants justice to be served.
SIDE NOTE: No Austin Aries tonight, as he was probably busy preparing to give all of his money away for the time being. You know, due to his poor behavior with Hemme last week.
TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bully Ray contract signing with The Icon Sting for their match at Slammiversary
Bully Ray starting us off by knocking the Contract Negotiator out of the ring from the podium, introducing himself, as per usual. He goes on to remind us he took Jeff Hardy out at Full Metal Mayhem and he is the guy who will defeat Sting at Slammiversary.
Ray asks Stinger to come out and let it rip with whatever contract stipulations he may have, Brother!
The Icon Sting makes his entrance at a snail's pace. Bully asks his music to be cut, and so of course, it is. Cause you know, TNA.
Bully asks Hogan to come on out to the ring to witness the contract signing. "Come on out Dad, this isn't a contract signing, it's a negotiation." So of course Hogan complies and saunters on out, cause of course, Bully now basically runs TNA like the mob, right?
Bully mentions he last saw Hogan when he screwed him and Sting over AND, as everyone knows, since he also screwed his daughter over. Nice heel move there.
Sting does not care for his apology, says, "You should snap my arm in two in Boston, pull my kneecap off, rip my throat out, finger gouge my eyes out, make me bleed!"
Bully says, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why should you tell me to do that to you?"
Sting replies, to a decent pop from the crowd, "'Cause if you don't do that to me, then I am gonna do that to you!"
The Icon goes on to state, "I don't care if I have to do it out of the ring, in the ring, in the concession area, in the stands, or even in the rafters (nice) -- I am gonna make YOU bleeeeed in Boston!"
He then states that he really had no demands, but since Bully wants one so badly, he wants a No-Holds Barred match in Boston for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Bully says, "You think you got me just where you want me? I bet everyone would love to see me bleed at your hands! (The crowd pops to the thought of this) You got it, Sting... You got your No-Holds Barred match. But, on one condition."
Bully reveals his singular condition, "You agree, you swear, you sign (banging on the contract) that when I beat you in Boston, you will NEVER, EVER wrestle for the World Heavyweight Championship again."
Hogan interrupts, says hold on a minute, but Bully tells him to shut up, and so of course Hogan does shut up, Brother, cause you know, again, Bully and TNA.
So Bully says to Sting, "You don't need to retire, I don't want you to retire. I want you to wrestle 'till the day you die. I want you to never again wear this championship belt around your waist ever again.
Hogan interjects again stating to Sting that he is in charge here still (he is?), and that Sting needs to think on this. He reassures Sting that he doesn't have to do this, and then he even asks him not to do this.
Bully interrupts Hogan again dismissively and says to Sting that, "Hogan is always making all your decisions for you, man up and make the decision for yourself for once, Sting, a No-Holds-Barred AND a No Championship ever again for the rest of your life match... yes, or no?!"
Sting says, "YES!"
Bully replies by shoving him hard into the ropes, they exchange heavy windmill blows toe-to-toe in the center of the ring, and we fade to black.
That's IMPACT for this week Cagesiders; see you on Sunday night (May 19 at 7:30 p.m. ET) for the free live-streaming Pre-Show right here at Cageside Seats prior to the big WWE Extreme Rules pay-per-view event. In the meantime, check back here tomorrow for your Impact Reactions, Impact Video Playlist and all of your additional wrestling coverage!