TNA Impact returned to Spike TV last night (May 9, 2013) from Tupelo, Mississippi, featuring its latest effort on the road to Slammiversary on June 2 in Boston. It was, in typical TNA fashion, a show that had its moments but mostly disappointed for all the usual reasons.
Click here to get full results and the running live blog. But now, let's get to the reactions!
- THAT'S GOTTA BE ... THAT'S GOTTA BE ... ABYSS!
- There were reports from various places that the angle with Abyss and Joseph Park has a long term plan and TNA is going to execute it come hell or high water. I just can't tell what the fuck that plan could possibly be and with the way the promotion has taken its sweet time pulling the trigger on such things, it's hard to keep interest for very long. Sure, it's always nice when they bother to tell longer term stories like this but where they fail is with pacing. I suppose by the time they loop it all together it will make sense and we can appreciate it then but for now, it's more mild annoyance than legitimate storyline tool.
- I did pop for Abyss tearing shit up, though.
- I did't pop for the D-Lo Brown progression because let's face it, it's D-Lo Brown. It's not like this is 1998 and Kevin Nash is teasing all sorts of dissension with Hulk Hogan leading to a split of the nWo. We're talking about a retired wrestler turned agent/producer who traded in his suit because TNA needed a recognizable name. This whole thing with his never wanting to give up his "cut" and doing anything to get his "colors" back is so far beyond ridiculous.
- I do want to give Bully Ray more credit here because he manages to go along with all this without it seeming so utterly insane. That's how good he is in his role. Great performers overcome poor stories.
- TNA has become a hero killer. That's what the promotion does, really. They take your heroes in long after their expiration dates and beat them down to the point that you can barely stomach the site of them anymore. I used to be the biggest Sting mark you would find. I once went trick-or-treating wearing full Sting gear, face paint and all. I don't even want to admit how old I was when this happened, that's how dedicated I was to this guy. Now? I'm begging for him to retire. I watched this show with my brother, an infrequent TNA observer, and his first words when Sting showed up were: "He's gotta be old as shit now." Yeah, he's old as shit. My hero is dead and I'm tired of watching TNA kick the corpse.
- It's even worse when they trot out AJ Styles and try to give him the character Sting played that made him my hero. Because Styles is super bad at it and Sting acknowledging the connection between the two only served to make me feel old and nostalgic for a better time in the industry. Styles has his strengths and what he's doing now doesn't accentuate a single one of them.
- Did James Storm actually injure himself while counting a pinfall as a special guest referee? Did that really happen? Also, does TNA promote alcohol consumption too much or is that just me?
- Remember when we talked about WWE creative being absolutely abysmal for booking a Jack Swagger run-in to cause a disqualification in a long, relatively good match between Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler? Well, now it's TNA's turn to take its lumps. Austin Aries & Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence was going swimmingly with the four most talented guys in the company doing outstanding work, like they always do, when Storm just starts superkicking people and the match just suddenly ends with no result. This was even worse than what WWE did because they booked this as a number one contender match to the TNA tag team titles. Just awful, especially if it was done just to get another number one contender match out of the situation because they ran out of ideas to get them to Slammiversary.
- Christy Hemme botching the intros for Roode and Aries had to be a work, right? If it wasn't, that's even better. And if Aries got up on the second rope and did his usual entrance despite her being in the corner at the time, that's the best.
- Kenny King was good as the obviously insincere douchey asshole but I'm already tired of the Chris Sabin overkill. Yeah, he went through a hard time with his injuries and physical rehabilitation and what not but let's ease it back just a bit.
- Biggest plus to this show? Very little airtime for Hulk Hogan. Although the biggest pop of the night probably came when he appeared for the first time. This damn crowds never learn, do they?
The show wasn't terrible but it wasn't particularly good either. Slammiversary is going to bomb at this rate.
That's it from me, Cagesiders. Now it's your turn to sound off in the comments section below with your thoughts on last night's show.