TNA Impact Wrestling comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Feb. 7, 2013) from Manchester, England, for the second of four shows that were taped in the United Kingdom on the company's annual trip overseas.
These shows are almost always better simply because the crowds pay to get in and they act like they give a shit about the wrestlers, the angles, the matches, everything. It should be good.
If you're impatient and want to read spoilers, you can do so by clicking here.
Remember to check back right here at 8 p.m. ET tonight to follow along with the live blog as it all goes down.
TNA IMPACT RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR FEB. 7
We get the usual recap to bring us up to date on the storylines.
My step daughter refers to Hulk Hogan as Oreo because of the mismatched white and black beard he was rocking the last time she saw him. Now I can't stop thinking of him that way.
We start with Aces and 8s. The group is getting bigger and bigger and none of these jobbers are worth a damn. They're now throwing up some sort of sign but I can't figure out what the hell they're doing.
Devon is once again saying they plan on taking over TNA and before he's done talking, they cut to a video package recapping what happened with Kurt Angle last week and showing Wes Briscoe and Garrett Bischoff defecting.
Back to Devon and he's talking about telling Mr. Anderson about the big plan they have for the group. That leads to the official introduction of Bischoff and Briscoe, who are going to get some mic time, it seems. They talk about Hogan trying to make them star from the bottom and climb their way to the top with Briscoe in particular pissed that his family pedigree wasn't enough to push him higher up the totem pole in a shorter amount of time.
Devon gets the mic again and spits some generic lines.
Pre-tape with Tara and Jesse and they run into Brooke Hogan.
Tara is upset about flying coach instead of first class. Brooke says they sound petty and selfish and she's been dealing with insanity around here lately.
Tara doesn't care and she's not cool with not having gotten her beauty sleep. Brooke says she's wrestling Miss Tessmacher tonight and Jesse is not only banned from ringside but must get her some coffee.
C.J. tagging in.
Rob Van Dam just retained the X Division Championship. Because of course he did.
Backstage with Aries and Roode. They are gunning for the gold. They are also trying to build up their previous World Heavyweight Championship reigns. Even in a 2 minute spot, they know how to bring it.
Recap of TNA's British Boot Camp. It actually looks like a really good show.
Recap of Brisco and Bischoff complaining that Hogan didn't return their calls, so they decided to start wearing a lot of leather and hanging out with creepy old me. Sounds a lot like my teenage years.
Jessie in the ring and looking fabulous. He is mad that he's banned from ringside. But he's going to give the people what they want.
And they want Mr. Pectacular.
SORRY! ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK!
Here comes Storm! And Jessie's mouth is as wide as the Chunnel!
Storm is going to oblige the fans and kick the crap out of Jessie. Then he'll drink some beer. And then he'll show the toothless Jessie to the fans.
That last one didn't make much sense.
James Storm vs. Jessie
Jessie takes the early advantage. The guy has some solid offense for a newcomer.
Storm gets his shine pretty quickly. Storm is sporting a bloody nose. Didn't see where he got it, but I'm sure someone will blame Jessie for it.
Storm hits the Last Call Superkick and gets the pinfall. He also drinks his beer. So that's two out of three things he promised.
I'm not going to call him a liar, but if you are going to promise something to the fans it would be nice if you delivered.
Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez vs. Austin Aries & Bobby Roode
Roode and Chavo start things off. Roode takes an early advantage, but Chavo uses his quickness to turns the tide. A hurricanrana sends Roode into his own corner. Aries take the opportunity to tag himself in.
Hernandez tagged in. The look of shock on Aries' face when he realizes this is priceless.
And now Aries is doing cartwheels around the ring. Because of course he is.
Everyone into the ring!A quadruple suplex sends Aries and Roode flying, and gives the faces control of the match.
Roode and Hernandez brawling on the outside. Roode is able to hold Hernadez and he's begging for Aries to come help.
We all know where this leads. Aries with the suicide dive, Hernandez is able to break free, and Roode gets slammed into the barricade.
The faces take control and lay the double team on Aries. Twice Aries gets covered, and twice Roode is just able to make it out of his corner to break it up.
Chavo is caught in the heel's corner, and the traditional bad guy tactics ensue. It's nice to know the classics never die.
Taz informs us that he has a boil on his ass. Because of course he does.
Aries and Roode continue to dominate Chavo. A few near falls, but Chavo just manages to either get the shoulder up or get his foot on the bottom rope.
Chavo does his best to fight out of the corner, but the heels manage to keep him from getting to Hernandez.
Roode with a loogie in Hernandez's face. That's kind of harsh.
A double clothesline between Roode and Chavo. Both men are down. Both are crawling....
ARIES GETS A HOT TAG! HERNANDEZ GETS A HOT TAG! EVERYONE GETS A HOT TAG!
Hernadez gets his shine and wrecks shop. Aries and Roode are getting thrown around like rag dolls.
Chavo gets the tag against Aries. He snaps the Two of the Three Amigos before Aries almost reverses into a Brain Buster. Chavo manages to push Aries into Roode.
It looks like the happy couple is splitting up as Roode was to the back.
Chavo hits the last Amigo. Hernandez in the ring to lift Aries up. Chavo is on the top rope...
Here comes Roode to toss Chavo off his perch! The ref is distracted, and Aries pops Hernandez in the cajones. Roode tosses Hernandez out of the ring. Aries to the top rope...
A 450 Splash on Chavo! One! Two! Three!
YOUR NEW! WORLD! HEAVYWEIGHT! TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Bully, Sting, and Hogan backstage. Hulk is psyching Bully up, getting him ready for his match against Aces & 8s. Bully is telling Hulk that he's "not a good guy." He is pissed off that Aces & 8s has run all over the roster. And he's going to make them pay.
Hulk and Bully pound fists. It's always nice to see family get along.
Recap of AJ Styles' road over the past year. Remember AJ? Because I completely forgot he existed.
Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher in a non-title Match
D'awww! Tara is wearing Jessie's shirt as she comes out to the ring. That's so damn cute.
Bell rings, and Tara is looking at the ramp and calling for her beau. It's sad to see love being pulled apart.
Tara takes control early -- still calling for Jessie -- but Tessmacher quickly turns it around.
And we get a stinkface from Tessmacher. Because we're still in the 90's.
Tessmacher to the top rope, but Tara is able to scale up and pull her down. She hits the Spider Web. Only good for two.
Tara continues to dominate. She chokes Tessmacher, with Taryn Terrell giving her a four counts. Tara relents, but then it's right back to the choking for another four count.
Tessmacher is able to fight back. And we get a front-end stinkface. Because...well there's really no reason for it.
Tessmacher hits the Tess-Shocker, and she is your winner.
The winner of British Bootcamp Rockstar Spud -- I don't know, I didn't pick the name -- comes out to the ring. And the crowd goes wild!
Mr. Spud is fired up about being a part of TNA and being in front of his countryman.
UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE (That's supposed to be dubstep music)
The Robbies come out to ruin the party. And the crowd goes crazy!
Robbie E calls Mr. Spud's hiring a travesty. He tells the little guy that he might as well be a pizza delivery boy.
Now Mr. E is jumping ontop of Robbie T's back and screaming in the big guys ear. Robbie E is going insane, screaming that Mr. T could kick the little potato's ass at any time.
Robbie T ducks down to pick up The Bro List, and Spud takes the opportunity to pop Robbie E one. He goes flying out of the ring.
Rockstar Spud and Robbie T throw up the devils sign and start rocking out in the ring.
Robbie E is in shock. It looks like there is trouble in BRO-idise!
/shows self out.
Bully and Sting walking down the hallway where they meet up with Brooke. Sting tells Bully to get his game face on.
Bully: "Maybe I'll get the war paint on."
Sting: "IT'S SHOWTIME!"
Sting, why are you hollerin'?
Recap of Hardy getting his face paint kicked in by Aces & 8s.
Sting & Bully Ray vs. Aces & 8s in a Tables Match
Bully is face painted up, so you know he means business.
Sting and Bully get right to work, stomping mudholes and lining clothes. They dominate Devon and DOC early, with both men hitting Stinger Splashes.
We come back from commercial and DOC has finally landed an offensive move and sends Bully outside the ring. And look at that! He's trying to choke out Bully with a spiked belt. I guess he's not completely ineffective.
Devon is landing a few punches on the Stinger in the ring.
And just like that the faces have control. Bully hits the WASSSSUUUUUUUUPPPP on Devon. The crowd is calling for the tables, and Bully obliges.
But he wasted too much time! Aces & 8s are back in the ring and beating down Bully and Sting. They go for the double suplex on Sting...
But Bully moves the table! Why he didn't stop Aces & 8s from suplexing Sting is beyond me, but at least the match continues.
Aces & 8s maintain control. They set Sting up on the table, but Bully is able to send Devon out of the ring.
DOC up on the top rope. Sting scurries up and is about to suplerplex him through the table...
But Devon moves the table. Again...just stop him from hitting the move.
DOC holds up Sting, and Devon takes a swing. Stinger ducks, and Devon connects with his teammate.
Sting is sent out of the ring, but here comes Bully. Devon is beating down his brother...
Oh lord. Bully is Hulking up. No selling punches. Shaking his hands. Pointing at his opponent. Hitting the big boot.
And a chokeslam right through the table.
Hulk and Brooke come down to the ring to celebrate.
Fade to black.