TNA Impact Wrestling comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Jan. 17, 2013) from the Impact Wrestling Zone in Orlando, Florida, featuring a wrestling wedding! That's right, folks, Bully Ray is going to put a ring on it and tie Brooke Hogan down for good.
Unless Hulkamania will be running mild on Bully before he can say "I do."
Seriously, I'm not sure I've ever been as excited for anything TNA has done. There is no chance this ends any way other than a spectacular disaster. Come witness the carnage later this evening starting at 8 p.m. ET on Spike TV.
Remember to check back right here to follow along with the live blog as it all goes down.
TNA IMPACT RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR JAN. 17
Broadcast is live.
Oh shit, they've got the entire wedding set up in the Impact Zone. I think it's going to stay like this throughout the entire show. This is awesome. Cake and all. Someone is getting that thing thrown all over them.
Pre-tape of Bully gloating in a room checking out his tuxedo. Suddenly Spike Dudley and Tommy Dreamer show up. They all hug it out and stay excited at what's to come.
We start with Jeff Hardy, who brings up Genesis and the fact that he just beat two of the best professional wrestlers on the planet. The crowd chants at him "you still got it."
I don't quite understand that chant. Whatever, Orlando.
He continues by saying he's ready for a fight anytime and let's keep it rolling.
Cue Christopher Daniels and Kazarian, who are getting a ton of heat. Daniels, remember, beat James Storm to earn a shot at Hardy's heavyweight championship. He gets on the mic and calls himself the "Thursday Night Delight."
Daniels tells us he'll be wrestling for the world title next week. Once he wins the belt, he gives everyone permission to worship him. Hardy says they don't need to wait and a big brawl breaks out. Kaz and Daniels get the upper hand pretty quick and Storm's music hits in a hurry.
He makes the save before grabbing a microphone. Storm does his best Teddy Long impression and books a tag team match for right now. The heels initially refuse but Storm reveals they don't have a choice in the matter and the babyfaces go out and start beating them down.
Once they climb in the ring, someone rings the bell and I guess this really is going to be a legitimate match.
James Storm and Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Daniels and Kazarian
They worked a long match for TV with the heels in control for much of it but the babyfaces coming back in the end to get the pin, as Hardy put Kazarian down once Storm did a springboard to the outside on Daniels. After doing so, he acted like he tweaked his knee. Landing looked okay, so that was probably just so Daniels could attack Hardy after the match, which he did.
Gut Check deliberations with Tazz, Bruce Prichard, and Al Snow. They put over Jay Bradley and Brian Cage as being talented young guys but Bradley seems to be getting the majority of the compliments.
They tease Prichard giving up his choice early but cut away before he says it.
They'll reveal who won up next.
Rex in now.
Jay Bradley goes on to face the judges over Cage.
Taz gives him a no, while Snow and Brichard give him a yes. Welcome to the Impact roster, Jay Bradley.
Backstage, Bully Ray is talking with Sting. Bully wants Sting to talk some sense into Hogan. Sting agrees.
In the locker room and Aries is trying to decide what to wear to the wedding. Bobby Roode already has his suit on and is giving Aries crap about not having something ready. They start to get into it about their match at Genesis.
A TNA cameraman catches Hogan entering the arena and asks him if he is going to attend the wedding. Hogan blows him off.
In the back and Spike, Dreamer, and Spike are hanging out. Tazz makes an appearance. Bully asks about Paul making it, but apparently he never got back to them. Ha!
Dreamer brings up how Brooke is doing and Bully says she is a wreck because of her father.
After a quick recap of the Hogan-Ray conflict, Sting is making his way to the ring.
He is talking up the wedding and doing a Jim Carrey impersonation.
Sting is calling for Hogan to enter the ring.
Hogan makes his way to the ring and he is rocking all black and doesn't look happy.
He wants Sting to cut the crap.
Hogan doesn't understand Sting's position.
Sting lays it out- Bully has come to all of their rescue many times.
Hogan says everyone on social media is telling him not to trust Bully.
Hogan just doesn't get the right vibe and energy from Bully.
"You need to do this for you and most importantly for Brooke"-Sting
Crowd starts chanting "Do It".
"I always do the right thing Brother!"-Hogan
Gail Kim with Taryn in the back. Kim shows her a replay of their match from Genesis and the rope break that Taryn missed. Kim says that Brooke has granted her a rematch for the number one contendership.
Gail Kim vs Velvet Sky for Number One Contendership
Lock up but Taryn breaks it up.
Kim with the side headlock but Sky reverses.
Kim rolls out of the ring. She is complaining that Sky was grabbing hair.
Kim tries to get a fireman's carry but Sky gets a roll up.
Kim with a huge kick and some clotheslines.
Kim with the neck breaker and gets a near fall.
Sky hits an axe kick and a suplex.
Kim spearing Sky in the corner and slams her head into the match.
Kim locks in a head scissor but Sky is able to escape.
Kim follows up with a drop kick,
Kim hits Eat Defeat and goes for the pin but Sky's foot had broke the plain,.
Kim in the official's face but Sky recovers and hits the bulldog and some clothelines.
Sky hits the In Your Face and gets the pinfall.
Velvet Sky wins by pinfall.
Dixie Carter is giving a nice pep talk to Brooke in the back. They are trying hard to act like they are about to cry but neither can act, so it just seems awkward
Aries and Roode are on their way to the ring. They weren't invited but they are crashing the affair.
Roode says its a shame that they are celebrating a wedding when they should be celebrating Roode and Aries.
They are both putting each over and doing a great job of it.
Aries is calling out all the old talent. "TNA has taken a step back ten years". Preach!
They are now formally objecting the wedding.
Guerrero and Hernandez have come out to the ring to confront Roode and Aries.
Aries calls out Guerrero and Hernandez as the caterers.
Roode adds "Who has has Mexican at a wedding anyway?"
Guerrero and Hernandez attack. Roode saves Aries and they bail on the ring.
I really hope we are going to get a Roode and Aries tag team.
Hogan and Sting are having a heart to heart talking in the back. Just repeating what they said earlier in the ring.
Bully Ray makes his way out to the ring. The ring set up is pretty nice.
Tomy Dreamers makes his way out to the ring with Miss Tessmacher in a stunning dress.
Spike makes his way out with Mickie JAmes. She doesn't make the dress look as good as Tessmacher.
Tazz (the best man) is heading down now with Christie Hemme.
We got to break.
Back from break and the wedding song hits and Brooke enters the Impact Zone.
She keeps looking for Hulk but he hasn't appeared yet.
Just as I say that he does.
As Brooke and Hulk make it to the ring the crowd is chanting for them to shake hands.
The aren't given a chance because the official starts his spiel.
They are exchanging vows and Hulk has the dumbest look on his face while he strokes his chin.
Forever hold your peace part and no one interjects.
They exchange the rings and its about to be official.
Tazz decides to interrupt. "Do you really want to do this?" Bully says yes.
"Is it getting hot in here?" -Tazz
He takes off his suit and he is rocking a Aces and Eights cut!
Aces and Eights takes out the wedding party as DOC and Knox force Brooke to watch and she pops out of her dress.
That's does it for Impact this week.