lies Stories - Cageside Seats
2011 Kansas Football Preview: Jayhawk State of the Union
If it isn’t obvious who lost the BC office Game of Thrones, then go read texags.com and leave me the hell alone. Someone had to stage a coup d’état to steal my Baylor assignment from me. Now I feel like some stupid third world dictator that didn’t know he wasn’t king until the bullet passed...
WWE Champion John Cena: Homophobic rap Re: The Rock was "misconstrued"
The Washington Blade, a Washington, DC based gay news site, interviewed WWE John Cena a couple days ago while he was visiting children at Georgetown University Hospital and posted footage of it on YouTube: Somewhat unsurprisingly, interviewer asked Cena about his homophobic rap directed at The...
MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 2: JAMIE POLLARD VS. PELICAN WHORE
#3 SEED: JAMIE POLLARD Round 1: Defeated Coach Baby, 377-204 #7 SEED: PELICAN WHORE Round 1: Defeated Wizgerald, 330-225 Scene: a dilapidated barn in Ames. Cows mill about lazily with ragged, oversized cheerleader uniforms covering them. Somehow there is still eight inches of snow on the...
Dinosaur Racecars: The Interview
Recently*, Jon Bois of "the Internet" interviewed me about Dinosaur Racecars because dinosaur racecars. Here is our interview so people can understand more about dinosaur racecars. There is no known picture of Mr. Bois on the Internet, so we'll use our old friend Bob Bruce to represent him. You're...
Gene Chizik Calls Jamie Pollard
And then one day the boy came back, and the tree shook with joy and said, "Come, boy, climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and be happy." /turns page "I am too busy to climb trees," said the Fred... /opens bottle of white-out Fred, stay out of that. BRRRRRRING /eats...
Chael Sonnen lied about Keith Kizer yet again
A couple days before it was announced that he was pleading guilty to money laundering charges, Chael Sonnen appeared on ESPN's MMA Live. Amidst various trash-talking, he was challenged on his claim that Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director Keith Kizer approved what Sonnen claims was...
The KOKAINE Chronicles, Pt. 2: Intervention
- Part One - Part Two - At Ken O'Keefe's house, KOKAINE arrives home later that day That's it. I'm sick of listening to Stupidhead Kirk. He's so bossy. He thinks he knows everything, but he's such a dummy. /slams door GRRRR he just makes me so MAD /holds breath Honey? /continues...
Ken O'Keefe Gets the Call
- Tuesday morning, immediately after the press conference, Gary Barta's office, Carver Hawkeye Arena - That went well. Yeah, I'd say so. I can't believe they still fall for your "I don't use the Twitter" shtick. I know, me either. So...wanna do something? I'd better go talk to Ken. About...
Kirk Ferentz and Gary Barta Have A Meeting
Scene: The nicest office in the Jacobson Athletic Building. Or Carver, wherever. One man sits at his desk, facing the other in front of him, and neither appears to be happy. 7-5, Kirk. Yessir. 4th quarter collapses all over the place. Yessir. Lots of seniors on their way out. Yessir. We play...
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