Cageside Seats: FanPosts

Jake "The Snake" Roberts Buried at MLB Game

2013-05-19T03:01:17Z

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/jake-snake-roberts-sings-ballgame-turner-field-video-215145793.html

Read the article, watch the video, but there really isn't that much more to say. I will say that he looks to be in great shape, even if his singing voice isn't. How did the Atlanta Braves allow this to happen? How did Major League Baseball allow this to happen? How do people even get these gigs anyway?

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/jake-snake-roberts-sings-ballgame-turner-field-video-215145793.html

Fighting injustice

2013-05-18T22:19:40Z

Have you ever been in a situation when someone has been unfair to you and you feel wronged? Everything is going horribly and someone just comes in and makes it worse. This someone doesn't have to be an individual. It could be a group of people, an organization, etc. It might not even be that someone's fault.

And you just have no power to do anything about it. You just have to take it, accept it and swallow your pride. You can't fight back. Yelling at that someone won't help because they refuse to right the wrong. You're afraid of doing anything rash because the law will crack down on you and the original problem won't be fixed. You can't sue the someone because you can't afford it. You can't beat them up because then you'll be thrown in jail even though the other person might deserve it.

Do you remember Austin standing up to his boss and beating the crap out of him? That was his appeal. To stand up to the terrible boss, and people loved it.

Then there was the Shield. They came to the WWE, they saw injustice and they did something about it. Beating down someone when there is injustice is something all people would like to see. That's their appeal - to come down to right a wrong, like a super hero would. Instead of the Justice league, we get the Shield.

Sometimes beating someone down doesn't help. It requires keen tactics. If you've seen any super hero movies or spy movies/shows, you can picture one of these sly tactics to get the job done with the best intentions in mind. Perhaps the Shield could incorporate this.

We don't know the future of the Shield. WWE may screw it up easily or make the best of it. Is it better to keep the members of the Shield together, or as a separate entity. Or is it better to have them win titles and give credibility back to most of the championships because that is one of the injustices in the E?

Believe in the Shield.

On a side note:

I'm not so sure about the 2/1 split. Reigns/Rollins fighting tag, and Ambrose fighting singles. If in a few months, Reigns is fighting single, and the other two tag, and then in a few months, Rollins is in a singles and the other two tag, then it may be okay. Or have them all be in singles. Keep them all equally intimidating. I don't want one of them being in the main card while the other two are forgotten about.

It reminds me of DX and how some individual members were more important than others - but also at the same time the rest were cared about, and made a difference. It wasn't just Shawn being the WWE champ and the others being tag champs, but Shawn was also a tag champ. Maybe Shield could have more members. Maybe not. I don't have a great idea, I am just here to enjoy the show. I am pretty tired of being disappointed at the end of many episodes of Raw/Smackdown. Would you keep watching any other show if it annoyed you almost every episode?

Do you remember Austin standing up to his boss and beating the crap out of him? That was his appeal. To stand up to the terrible boss, and people loved it.

Believe in the Shield.

On a side note:

WWE's Spring Cleaning begins: which main roster wrestlers are on thin ice?

2013-05-18T00:04:50Z

via interactive360.com

With news that the WWE has "future endeavored" seven NXT wrestlers today to make room for new incoming developmental talent as well as the upcoming opening of WWE's Performance Center in Winter Park Florida in the coming months; it's safe to say that some main roster talent may also be on the chopping block in the coming days.

And so without further delay, here are the following WWE wrestlers who may be working at either TNA Wrestling or Ring of Honor once their 90-day non-compete clauses expire:

ALEX RILEY

He is best known as The Miz' former lackey and was all set for a huge push as a mid-card babyface when his pushed was stalled due to a backstage incident with John Cena. His match against Cody Rhodes last night on WWE Superstars may be his last for the WWE.

CURT HAWKINS

Another guy who hasn't been seen much on TV in recent months, this former Edgehead may be on his way out in the WWE.

EZEKIEL JACKSON

This behemoth had everything going from being Brian Kendrick's bodyguard to being a member of William Regal's stable to being a member of the Corre, the Guyanese grappler has been AWOL since last summer and the emergence of Big E Langston makes Big Zeke very expendable in the WWE's eyes.

HUNICO & CAMACHO

When was the last time these Mexi-Cools imitators have been on TV?

JTG

In my opinion, the WWE shouldn't have split up Cryme Tyme in the first place.

R-TRUTH

Once one of the most over heels, R-Truth is past his prime at 41 years of age.

TED DiBIASE, JR.

Once pegged to be the breakout star of Legacy, the son of the Million Dollar Man has been pushed aside by Cody Rhodes and his mustache.

ALICIA FOX

The Foxy One has rarely been seen on TV apart from an occasional Divas Battle Royal.

AKSANA

The Lithuanian beauty's TV has been reduced, thanks to the return of Brie and Nikki Bella.

ROSA MENDES

With backstage heat for getting "drunk" during a recent tour of Europe last month which got her sent home as a result, Mendes could very well be let go. Should Mendes be released, what does the future hold for Epico and Primo?

SCOTT STANFORD

Ever since Tony Dawson replaced him as the play-by-play announcer for WWE Superstars and WWE Pay-Per-View pre-shows, Stanford's TV time has been greatly diminished as of late.

via interactive360.com

And so without further delay, here are the following WWE wrestlers who may be working at either TNA Wrestling or Ring of Honor once their 90-day non-compete clauses expire:

ALEX RILEY

CURT HAWKINS

Another guy who hasn't been seen much on TV in recent months, this former Edgehead may be on his way out in the WWE.

EZEKIEL JACKSON

HUNICO & CAMACHO

When was the last time these Mexi-Cools imitators have been on TV?

JTG

In my opinion, the WWE shouldn't have split up Cryme Tyme in the first place.

R-TRUTH

Once one of the most over heels, R-Truth is past his prime at 41 years of age.

TED DiBIASE, JR.

Once pegged to be the breakout star of Legacy, the son of the Million Dollar Man has been pushed aside by Cody Rhodes and his mustache.

ALICIA FOX

The Foxy One has rarely been seen on TV apart from an occasional Divas Battle Royal.

AKSANA

The Lithuanian beauty's TV has been reduced, thanks to the return of Brie and Nikki Bella.

ROSA MENDES

SCOTT STANFORD

Ever since Tony Dawson replaced him as the play-by-play announcer for WWE Superstars and WWE Pay-Per-View pre-shows, Stanford's TV time has been greatly diminished as of late.

WWE funds research of brain trauma

2013-05-17T17:04:20Z

BOSTON (AP) World Wrestling Entertainment has agreed to make a $1.2 million gift over three years to the Sports Legacy Institute aimed at developing a treatment for chronic traumatic encephalopathy. The gift was announced Friday. The non-profit institute is a founding partner of the Boston University Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy. The center is studying how to diagnose CTE in living people, a critical step toward clinical trials in humans. The WWE gift will fund a new investigation to screen potential CTE treatments. CTE has been diagnosed in patients exposed to repeated brain trauma, including athletes who participate in contact sports, as well as military veterans and victims of abuse.

The History of WWE Brand Extension

2013-05-16T05:34:00Z

The WWE Draft, a lasting image of WWE Brand Exenstion

via upload.wikimedia.org

When WWE (then known as WWF) acquired all the assets of WCW and the original ECW, it had resulted in the acquisitions of several wrestlers and other personnel that have been lost in the shuffle for much of 2001 and early 2002.

In an effort to give these Superstars some exposure, it was announced that a brand extension draft would take place during a special edition of Monday Night RAW on May 25, 2002. Rick Flair would choose the Superstars for RAW while Vince McMahon would draft Superstars for SmackDown.

The Rock was the first draftee when he was drafted to Friday Night SmackDown. The second pick saw The Undertaker go to RAW. Eventually, the likes of Kane, the N.W.O., Rob Van Dam, Brock Lesnar, and Stone Cold Steve Austin would go to RAW while SmackDown acquired the likes of Kurt Angle, Hulk Hogan, Edge, and Mark Henry.

The WWE Brand Extension extended through brand-exclusive pay-per-views as well as separate RAW and SmackDown magazines with only the Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Survivor Series being the only pay-per-views to feature both brands.

A revival of ECW was created in June of 2006 and was given its own pay-per-view in December To Dismember back in December 2006.

However, beginning with the 2007 edition of Backlash, all pay-per-views were now multi-branded. Also at this time, RAW and SmackDown magazines merged into WWE Magazine.

In February of 2010, ECW was cancelled following lackluster ratings and was replaced by NXT (now WWE's developmental promotion). Nevertheless, the WWE held its draft for the next couple of years with only RAW and SmackDown drafting Superstars.

But by the summer of 2011, it became very evident that both RAW and SmackDown were languishing in the ratings not to mention that the roster had shrunken greatly since 2002. It was also during that time that the WWE had became very interested in getting involved in the social media craze.

As a result, Triple H announced that RAW would feature Superstars from SmackDown and vice versa. Eventually, the house shows became dual-branded as well.

R.I.P. WWE Brand Extension: 2002-2011

The WWE Draft, a lasting image of WWE Brand Exenstion

via upload.wikimedia.org

A revival of ECW was created in June of 2006 and was given its own pay-per-view in December To Dismember back in December 2006.

However, beginning with the 2007 edition of Backlash, all pay-per-views were now multi-branded. Also at this time, RAW and SmackDown magazines merged into WWE Magazine.

As a result, Triple H announced that RAW would feature Superstars from SmackDown and vice versa. Eventually, the house shows became dual-branded as well.

R.I.P. WWE Brand Extension: 2002-2011

Dear Cagesiders, we need your help.

2013-05-15T04:43:37Z

This is Dannie Ray, loyal reader of cageside seats and Chairman of RPW.

RPW, short for Revival Pro Wrestling, is an Online Wrestling Simulation Game where most of the characters are played by fellow Cagesiders.

Long story shot, we've introduced an Internet Championship that will use polls to determine things as Internet Title contenders or Stipulations. It's pretty much like #RAWActive but without rigging the polls.

Disclaimer: We do not plug twitter in every page and we don't have an RPW App.

I'm asking you guys to help us decide who deserves to be in our first RPW Internet Title Match and here are the characters making their case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Landon Jackson:

[Landon Jackson is seen under the rain, the shot is centered upon his angry as he stares to the camera.]

JACKSON: I have made my intentions clear, Landon Jackson wants the No Limits Title and Landon Jackson will get the No Limits Title.

Season's Beatings was merely a setback, DDL's victory over me nothing but a fluke. I see this Internet Title opportunity as a way for RPW management to lure me away from the No Limits Division, because they know the damage I can do on that environment, because they know I'm gonna keep putting their competitors to the hospital just like I did to Malcolm Valenzuela.

So vote me into this match, or don't. It doesn't matter...either way Landon Jackson will be a champion.

[The rain keeps running through Landon's face as the camera cuts into the next promo.]

-Ronnie Reynolds:

[Ravishing Ronnie Reynolds is showing looking at a mirror while combing his hair]

REYNOLDS: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all?

[The camera turns to reveal his staff in the room, Image Analyst Amy Evans, Super Agent Jackson Gerritt and P.I. Shirley Watson are among them.]

AMY EVANS: Come on Ronnie, you don't need a mirror to tell you that you are the greatest wrestler in the world.

SHIRLEY WATSON: I don't know Amy, that Taiga guy is pretty foxy.

JACKSON GERRITT: What about me?

SHIRLEY WATSON: I guess you are a nice guy.

JACKSON GERRITT: Hey! I can be sexy too!

[Reynolds doesn't seem happy about the conversation drifting away from himself]

REYNOLDS: Come on guys, lets get serious...we need to record an ad for my Internet Championship Campaign, Gerritt you are my chief of staff...where is my camera man?

[You can hear a voice that's clearly coming from the guy who's taping this segment]

CAMERA MAN: It's rolling.

REYNOLDS: Ok Mr. Rollins stay put, we'll need your services later.

CAMERA MAN: I'm not Mr. Rollins, It's rolling.

REYNOLDS: Roleen? That's a weird first name for a guy. Roleen what?

CAMERA MAN: The CAMERA!!!!

REYNOLDS: Roleen deCamera? That sounds artsy.

AMY EVANS: And foreign.

SHIRLEY WATSON: And Wild and Exciting.

[The rest of the staff turns around to give a look to a Googly Eyed Shirley Watson.]

CAMERA MAN: My name is mark and I'm already taping your ad, it is due in 5 minutes...didn't you get my message...

REYNOLDS: Wait what? My Schedule girl never told me about his...

GIRL: Oops...

[The Ravishing one doesn't seem pleased at all as he turns to face her secretary]

REYNOLDS: Oops? that's the best you can do? What about....YOU ARE FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!

JACKSON GERRITT: I don't think that's the best look for your campaign...

REYNOLDS: Holy Shit, the camera is rolling....turn that off! Erase this now..

[Reynolds rushes over the camera and seems to be struggling with the camera man, all we can see is the palm of his hand as we hear some final words]

AMY EVANS: We are screwed.

-Sirius Danger.

DANGER: What do you want me to say folks?

[Sirius Danger is all smile, to the point that he's almost busting out in laughter.]

DANGER: We are finally doing it, this is a huge victory for the cause. I want to thank all of you guys for your effort, without your strong work we would've never been able to achieve this monumental feat that will forever change RPW history.

I'm not talking about Jack Dobbs being gone, that's not here nor there....the real important thing that just happened was the announcement of the Internet Title.

This might be a little step, but it's an important one in our fight against the oppressive RPW Management. The Revolution of chaos has made strides as we...the people, we have finally taken some of the power for ourselves.

[Danger can hardly contain his excitement and he stands up paces around the small room he's in, he seems to look track of the camera and it now looks like he's talking to himself. ]

DANGER: They know that they can't keep ignoring us, they gave us this...but we are going to take it all. Chaos will Reign, the era of the suits is about to fall, the era of the people is at hand.

[Sirius Danger suddenly stops and drops the straps of his black singlet.]

DANGER: The best part of all of this is that I don't even have to campaign for this title shot. I'm a natural leader, a leader of men, and I will lead this revolution into greatness, I will die inside of that ring if that's what it takes to further the cause.

[The Intensity on Danger is slowly boiling, and it looks like it's about to reach it's peak when he suddenly shifts into a zen-like state]

DANGER: I already represent the people, but this Internet Championship will finally make it official.

[Sirius Danger is back to smiles]

DANGER: You can be a champion too, join the cause.

-John Brandenburg.

BRANDENBURG: Sorry if I don't sound more excited about the prospect of another championship, It's hard to get over the fact that you were stripped of a prize that you worked so hard for.

There is one big problem for me with this whole Internet Championship deal, and that's that I'm on the ballot and Demian Wolfe isn't.

Ever since the first ever RPW show, me and Demian have been at odds, we faced each other on a tag match during the first ever RPW match and we are still on RPW's longest lasting and most heated rivalry.

I've come to terms with the fact that until I solve the Wolfe problem, I'm just not going to be able to focus on being the top wrestler in the world. I'm really sad to say that this Internet title would only be a distraction for now.

Sorry to disappoint, but I don't really want you guys to vote for me...

But I do have a message for all of my fans, I'm officially endorsing Alex Monroe...may he kick Sirius Danger's head in.

-Anne Brandeis:

[The camera fades in to see Anne Brandeis wearing a charcoal gray suit, white button up shirt, red tie, and matching slacks. A somewhat bemused expression on her face as she is sitting in a chair a small gray and white American shorthair cat. Her soft spoken voice lacking its usual menace as it‘s replaced with a quiet deadpan.]

BRANDEIS: I have from our esteemed commissioner Rufus Biggs that a shot at a new title will be awarded based not on win loss records, or experience but on which wrestler gets the most votes on the internet. So I have made a video with a cat. Say hello "Nickels."

[Anne pauses for a moment flashing a subtle grin of the absurdity of the moment as she reaches down rubbing the cat below the neck. The feline lazily stretching it‘s paws forward.]

CAT: Mrrow...

[Anne quietly remains composed as she quietly rubs the cat's ears a bit.]

BRANDEIS: I am asking for you the viewers to vote for me not because I defeated Taiga in under a minute. Not because I am currently undefeated in singles competition, and not because I am the most dangerous person in wrestling. No. I am asking you to vote for me because I have posted a video with a cat on the internet and I intend to show Rufus Biggs how incredibly stupid this idea is.

[Anne raises hand as Nickles the cat sits up a bit lazily bats its paws in the air as if trying to catch her.]

BRANDEIS: I am not saying that the fans voices shouldn't be heard nor am I saying the internet isn't a useful tool. What I am saying is that it is not a meritocracy. All it takes is a particularly clever, organized group of fans working together for "LOLZ" [she motions with her fingers making quote marks] and the next thing you know we have a pay-per-view co-headlined by a "Dubstep Harlem Shake My Little Pony on a pole" match.

And someone gets a title shot by virtue of making a video with a cat in it.

[Anne pauses for a moment quietly amused by as the cat rolls over in her lap, giving her the kitty a tummy rub. The gray haired cat closing its green eyes as it makes an audible "purr" sound.]

BRANDEIS: I do not believe in going half way in matches. I do not believe in taking any opponent lightly. I believe that any belt should be defended like it's the main event. But don't vote for me. Vote for Mr. Nickels.

[Anne continues petting the now sleepy eyed feline as she quietly pats the cat on the head.]

BRANDEIS: Now some people are asking why Ruffus Biggs is worried about a new belt with a tawdry gimmick when the Heavyweight title has changed hands thanks to a doctor's note a middle school nurse would see through. Some people would say lobbying for a title shot on youtube is undignified.

These people should also vote for the lady with the cat.

CAT: Purrrrrrrrr

[The camera pans down as the sleepy cat stretches its paws into the air as we fade to black.]

-Alex Monroe:

[The scene opens to Alex Monroe pacing back and forth in front of a plain white background. He seems completely irritated, and who wouldn't after the last month or so that he's been having. We can see his hair is not styled in a faux hawk as usual, and his attire, at least as much as we can see, is an Attack! Attack! T-shirt. He stops pacing as soon as he notices the camera and begins to speak.]

MONROE: From day one in this company, I've been out to prove that I'm the hardest working professional wrestler in the world. I've stepped in the ring with some of the bonafide greats in this industry. I've had the most killer matches with guys like Leonard Knox, Hakai Dragon and John Brandenburg. Everything was going great. That is... until Sirius Danger showed up in my life.

Now, I'll be the first to admit the idea of teaming up with Enigma wasn't exactly on my "to-do" list here in RPW. But when GM Charles Strickland first asked me to take him under my wing, I saw it as an opportunity to prove something else to the RPW faithful. I've already shown I can put on stellar matches, now I wanted to prove that I could be a great leader, and bring Enigma, who was already a great competitor, to the next level. I wanted to show I could be that guy that leads the locker room if need be. And things were going well to start off, all things considered. Until Sirius Danger showed up in my life.

At the PPV, I thought I was finally going to end this thing with Sirius Danger and break his neck and send him packing out of my business for good. But, and I've got to hand it to you Sirius, you threw me a curve ball. You had an extremely elaborate set up that worked perfectly, and I'll admit I walked right in to a lot of things. Kirk Cobain was a man I respected in RPW. Sure, we had vastly different styles, but he was a guy who was friendly to me from the get-go backstage and somebody who I almost the considered a friend... almost.

At Season's Beatings, he gave me the ol' bait and switch and I ended up on the wrong side of a beating at the hands of Kirk, Sirius and Enigma. At the end of it all, I ended up a broken and beaten man, and I was extremely discouraged. Until I got an e-mail from Rufus Biggs.

The e-mail was announcing the creation of the Internet Championship, and not only am I on the list of contenders, but so is the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my polar opposite, and arch nemesis, Sirius Danger.

So I beg of the RPW faithful. Vote me in to that match. Not just me, but Sirius Danger as well. Vote both of us in, so I can get my hands around his neck. Vote us in so I can have my redemption, and show not just Sirius Danger, not just Enigma, not just Kirk Cobain, but the ENTIRE WORLD that to win a championship here in RPW, you can't rely on silly overcomplicated schemes and alliances, but rather your own skill, heart, and determination. And for God's sake, vote both of us in so I can put Sirius Danger in the hospital. And not with some silly toy I found under the ring. But with my bare... hands...

The choice is yours, interwebs.

[Monroe follows up with a nod as we fade to black.]

-Malcolm Valenzuela:

VALENZUELA: Landon Jackson...don't think I've have forgotten about you...

You put me into the hospital with a series of piledrivers, the same move that has been banned in my country of Mexico. But that's not the first time you've messed with my blood. I remember how not so long ago you put my good amigo Espirito do Animal to the hospital with a shattered ankle.

[The mexican wrestler has a look of pure intensity as his hatred for Jackson leaks through his pores.]

VALENZUELA: I've been here since the beginning, desde el comienzo. And I'm going to prove to everyone that I belong here, and that I'm not someone that you just can overlook.

I'm asking you to vote for me, so I can have the opportunities that this front office has denied me. But also I want you to vote for Landon Jackson, so I can get my revenge.

dos birds, un stone.

Enigma:

[There's a loud sound of static, and the video is completely disturbed. The video then snaps to black, and a couple of seconds later, the video feed glitches into the image of a dark room, lit by a light blue haze. Enigma is in front of the camera, with his face almost covered by the hood of his sweatshirt. He slowly looks up to face the camera. The usual half face paint is still there, with the glowing outline of a dragon. He slowly raises his fist to the camera. And he lifts his fingers to count. One. Two. Three.]

ENIGMA : Three seconds between me and glory. Its always eluded me, but not this time. The people know that I deserve this shot. I'm going to walk into the triple threat match. And put both of them down. And then its one, two, three. And I'm going to get what I've always rightfully deserved. On the first anniversary of Revival Pro Wrestling, I am going to walk out with championship gold around my waist. Because this Phenomenon is the Revival of Pro Wrestling.

[He lifts his hand to point to himself, and he mouths "Its my time" just as the video glitches out]

This is Dannie Ray, loyal reader of cageside seats and Chairman of RPW.

RPW, short for Revival Pro Wrestling, is an Online Wrestling Simulation Game where most of the characters are played by fellow Cagesiders.

Disclaimer: We do not plug twitter in every page and we don't have an RPW App.

I'm asking you guys to help us decide who deserves to be in our first RPW Internet Title Match and here are the characters making their case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Landon Jackson:

[Landon Jackson is seen under the rain, the shot is centered upon his angry as he stares to the camera.]

JACKSON: I have made my intentions clear, Landon Jackson wants the No Limits Title and Landon Jackson will get the No Limits Title.

So vote me into this match, or don't. It doesn't matter...either way Landon Jackson will be a champion.

[The rain keeps running through Landon's face as the camera cuts into the next promo.]

-Ronnie Reynolds:

[Ravishing Ronnie Reynolds is showing looking at a mirror while combing his hair]

REYNOLDS: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all?

[The camera turns to reveal his staff in the room, Image Analyst Amy Evans, Super Agent Jackson Gerritt and P.I. Shirley Watson are among them.]

AMY EVANS: Come on Ronnie, you don't need a mirror to tell you that you are the greatest wrestler in the world.

SHIRLEY WATSON: I don't know Amy, that Taiga guy is pretty foxy.

JACKSON GERRITT: What about me?

SHIRLEY WATSON: I guess you are a nice guy.

JACKSON GERRITT: Hey! I can be sexy too!

[Reynolds doesn't seem happy about the conversation drifting away from himself]

REYNOLDS: Come on guys, lets get serious...we need to record an ad for my Internet Championship Campaign, Gerritt you are my chief of staff...where is my camera man?

[You can hear a voice that's clearly coming from the guy who's taping this segment]

CAMERA MAN: It's rolling.

REYNOLDS: Ok Mr. Rollins stay put, we'll need your services later.

CAMERA MAN: I'm not Mr. Rollins, It's rolling.

REYNOLDS: Roleen? That's a weird first name for a guy. Roleen what?

CAMERA MAN: The CAMERA!!!!

REYNOLDS: Roleen deCamera? That sounds artsy.

AMY EVANS: And foreign.

SHIRLEY WATSON: And Wild and Exciting.

[The rest of the staff turns around to give a look to a Googly Eyed Shirley Watson.]

CAMERA MAN: My name is mark and I'm already taping your ad, it is due in 5 minutes...didn't you get my message...

REYNOLDS: Wait what? My Schedule girl never told me about his...

GIRL: Oops...

[The Ravishing one doesn't seem pleased at all as he turns to face her secretary]

REYNOLDS: Oops? that's the best you can do? What about....YOU ARE FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!

JACKSON GERRITT: I don't think that's the best look for your campaign...

REYNOLDS: Holy Shit, the camera is rolling....turn that off! Erase this now..

[Reynolds rushes over the camera and seems to be struggling with the camera man, all we can see is the palm of his hand as we hear some final words]

AMY EVANS: We are screwed.

-Sirius Danger.

DANGER: What do you want me to say folks?

[Sirius Danger is all smile, to the point that he's almost busting out in laughter.]

I'm not talking about Jack Dobbs being gone, that's not here nor there....the real important thing that just happened was the announcement of the Internet Title.

[Danger can hardly contain his excitement and he stands up paces around the small room he's in, he seems to look track of the camera and it now looks like he's talking to himself. ]

DANGER: They know that they can't keep ignoring us, they gave us this...but we are going to take it all. Chaos will Reign, the era of the suits is about to fall, the era of the people is at hand.

[Sirius Danger suddenly stops and drops the straps of his black singlet.]

[The Intensity on Danger is slowly boiling, and it looks like it's about to reach it's peak when he suddenly shifts into a zen-like state]

DANGER: I already represent the people, but this Internet Championship will finally make it official.

[Sirius Danger is back to smiles]

DANGER: You can be a champion too, join the cause.

-John Brandenburg.

BRANDENBURG: Sorry if I don't sound more excited about the prospect of another championship, It's hard to get over the fact that you were stripped of a prize that you worked so hard for.

There is one big problem for me with this whole Internet Championship deal, and that's that I'm on the ballot and Demian Wolfe isn't.

Sorry to disappoint, but I don't really want you guys to vote for me...

But I do have a message for all of my fans, I'm officially endorsing Alex Monroe...may he kick Sirius Danger's head in.

-Anne Brandeis:

[Anne pauses for a moment flashing a subtle grin of the absurdity of the moment as she reaches down rubbing the cat below the neck. The feline lazily stretching it‘s paws forward.]

CAT: Mrrow...

[Anne quietly remains composed as she quietly rubs the cat's ears a bit.]

[Anne raises hand as Nickles the cat sits up a bit lazily bats its paws in the air as if trying to catch her.]

And someone gets a title shot by virtue of making a video with a cat in it.

[Anne pauses for a moment quietly amused by as the cat rolls over in her lap, giving her the kitty a tummy rub. The gray haired cat closing its green eyes as it makes an audible "purr" sound.]

[Anne continues petting the now sleepy eyed feline as she quietly pats the cat on the head.]

These people should also vote for the lady with the cat.

CAT: Purrrrrrrrr

[The camera pans down as the sleepy cat stretches its paws into the air as we fade to black.]

-Alex Monroe:

The choice is yours, interwebs.

[Monroe follows up with a nod as we fade to black.]

-Malcolm Valenzuela:

VALENZUELA: Landon Jackson...don't think I've have forgotten about you...

[The mexican wrestler has a look of pure intensity as his hatred for Jackson leaks through his pores.]

VALENZUELA: I've been here since the beginning, desde el comienzo. And I'm going to prove to everyone that I belong here, and that I'm not someone that you just can overlook.

I'm asking you to vote for me, so I can have the opportunities that this front office has denied me. But also I want you to vote for Landon Jackson, so I can get my revenge.

dos birds, un stone.

Enigma:

Poll

Who should be the first contender for the Internet Title?

Landon Jackson

2 votes

Ronnie Reynolds

3 votes

Sirius Danger

5 votes

John Brandenburg

0 votes

Anne Brandeis

10 votes

Alex Monroe

5 votes

Malcolm Valenzuela

0 votes

Enigma

2 votes

27 votes | Poll has closed

Cena vs. The Ryback: Why this match has to happen now...and why you should care

2013-05-14T20:22:00Z

I am taking the suggestion of Mr. Geno Mrosko. What suggestion? The one that he included in the WWE Monday Night Raw Reactions thread for this week's episode of Raw (The Go Home show to Extreme Rules, this Sunday May 19).

That suggestion was to ask the question, "Is Ryback a legitimate star at this point? -- And, "Why should we care about a Cena/Ryback feud?".

I make the argument that Ryback is indeed a legitimate star.

Why? Because his simple, dopey catchphrases, and anti-hero persona, are so easy to latch on to for a casual fan. "Feed Me More" and now "Ryback Rules", are so unbelievably low-brow that we should know they're going to catch on.

Also, Ryback is the most cartoonish gimmick on the roster. He is billed as "The Ryback", as if to suggest he some kind of genetic freak or something (pretty soon he'll be holding a mop like the toxic avenger). He really is over the top when you get down to brass tacks.

John Cena on the other hand, is the face of the company. The pandering mega-face who, by this point, has almost become a caricature of his own gimmick.

When you realize these things about both of these performers, a Cena/Ryback feud makes absolute sense. This title match is almost like the Super Hero/Villain fight in a comic book; think Superman/Lex Luthor, Spiderman/Venom.

This match has to happen now, simply so we can see our comic book hero (John Cena) defeat that dastardly villain (Ryback). It makes sense (trust me).

I for one am not exactly "excited" to see this match, but I am intrigued. And everyone else should be too, if only for the simple fact that it's a classic "Good guy vs. Bad Guy contest".

And that's good for the kids, and for the kid in all of us.

Those are my answers to the question posed by our General. What are yours, Cagesiders?

That suggestion was to ask the question, "Is Ryback a legitimate star at this point? -- And, "Why should we care about a Cena/Ryback feud?".

I make the argument that Ryback is indeed a legitimate star.

John Cena on the other hand, is the face of the company. The pandering mega-face who, by this point, has almost become a caricature of his own gimmick.

This match has to happen now, simply so we can see our comic book hero (John Cena) defeat that dastardly villain (Ryback). It makes sense (trust me).

I for one am not exactly "excited" to see this match, but I am intrigued. And everyone else should be too, if only for the simple fact that it's a classic "Good guy vs. Bad Guy contest".

And that's good for the kids, and for the kid in all of us.

Those are my answers to the question posed by our General. What are yours, Cagesiders?

WWE Matches Stipulations and Winners

2013-05-10T01:45:12Z

Pre show- Big E Langston vs Kofi Kingston US title lumberjack match

Winner- Langston- big ending

Big Show vs Orton falls count anywhere

Winner Big Show- chokeslam off stage

Mark Henry vs Sheamus strap match- expect weapons in this strap match and the most brutal match of the night

Winner Mark Henry pinfall after WSS on a garbage can

Wade Barrett vs Chris Jericho street fight ic title

after kendo sticks chairs tables and the ic title all used as weapons...

winner wade barrett bull hammer off top rope through table outside the ring

Hell no vs Shield tables match tag team titles

winner shield triple power bomb through table to Kane

ziggler vs swagger vs del rio ladders match

winner ziggler after zigzag off ladder to del rio

triple h vs lesnar steel cage

winner lesnar via escaping cage

ryback vs cena last man standing

winner ryback after shell shock through announce table

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD HAPPEN AT EXTREME RULES,STIPULATIONS

comment!!

Pre show- Big E Langston vs Kofi Kingston US title lumberjack match

Winner- Langston- big ending

Big Show vs Orton falls count anywhere

Winner Big Show- chokeslam off stage

Mark Henry vs Sheamus strap match- expect weapons in this strap match and the most brutal match of the night

Winner Mark Henry pinfall after WSS on a garbage can

Wade Barrett vs Chris Jericho street fight ic title

after kendo sticks chairs tables and the ic title all used as weapons...

winner wade barrett bull hammer off top rope through table outside the ring

Hell no vs Shield tables match tag team titles

winner shield triple power bomb through table to Kane

ziggler vs swagger vs del rio ladders match

winner ziggler after zigzag off ladder to del rio

triple h vs lesnar steel cage

winner lesnar via escaping cage

ryback vs cena last man standing

winner ryback after shell shock through announce table

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD HAPPEN AT EXTREME RULES,STIPULATIONS

comment!!

The Notorious Eddie Mac Presents: It’s Hard Out Here For A Champ (or The Death of the Midcard Championship)

2013-05-09T06:29:00Z

via beastmodekillers.webs.com

Remember a time when the United States and Intercontinental championships mattered? Granted, I'm talking about pseudo-championships in a pseudo-sport, but just go along with it, okay? I assure you once upon a time these titles mattered.

WWE's Intercontinental Championship was born in 1979 and has generally been regarded as the "worker's title". The title, which was originally the WWF North American Championship, was first held by Pat Patterson and was held by such wrestlers as Pedro Morales, Don Muraco, Randy Savage, Ultimate Warrior, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, The Rock, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho to name a few. In this decade, former world champions Christian, Big Show, and The Miz held the title, as well as current world heavyweight champion Dolph Ziggler.

The United States Championship has been around even longer. Born in Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling (as part of the National Wrestling Alliance) on New Year's Day 1975, it was regarded as a stepping-stone to the NWA (and later, WCW) World Heavyweight Championship.

Harley Race was the first of 77 different champions that include Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Lex Luger, Sting, Dusty Rhodes, Stan FUCKING Hansen, Steve Austin, Eddie Guerrero, and Bill Goldberg. When WWE bought WCW in 2001, the United States Championship came over with it, and after a year and a half hiatus in the early 2000s, wrestlers such as Booker T, Chris Benoit, Matt Hardy, MVP, and current WWE Champion John Cena held the prestigious title.

Even if your wrestling fandom is recent, just reading off that list of famous names might give you the impression that the Intercontinental and United States championships meant something once upon a time. And trust me when I tell you, they did.

This clearly hasn't been the case as of late. At least not the way they have been booked on the WWE show of record, Monday Night Raw.

Yes, there are five other shows they broadcast (SmackDown, Superstars, Main Event, NXT, Saturday Morning Slam), but WWE has made a concerted effort to let you, the viewer know, whether consciously or not, that Monday Night Raw is the only one that matters. Why do you think SmackDown matches are rehashed the following Monday on the regular? Because they know half of the Raw audience doesn't watch people fight on Friday nights.

In other words, if it didn't happen under the big lights of Raw, it doesn't count. That said, late Monday night, I got a thought in my head after watching both the midcard champions lose (yet again) -- "How have they done on Raw in 2013?"

Well, the answer, to put it bluntly is, "Not. Good".

The Intercontinental champion, which has been Wade Barrett for all but one day this year (WrestleMania 29) is 5-7-1 (42.31% win percentage), with five weeks not booked for a match. Barrett has not won on back-to-back Raws since January.

The United States champion, which was Antonio Cesaro until three weeks ago, is an alarming and astounding 2-11 (15.38%), with five weeks not booked for a match. Kingston has not won in two Raw matches since winning the title from Cesaro. Even more astounding: the US Champion has exactly one clean win in 2013 on Raw: a January 7 win by Cesaro over Zack Ryder... the same guy he beat Monday night.

Okay, you say, "It's just a phase. Maybe the midcard champions are in a funk or something". You can say that, but if that's the case, they might want to hit a shower or something, because they've been stinking up the place.

So Tuesday morning, I went back further...to one year ago. Including Monday night, there have been 53 Monday Night Raw episodes since this day last year. How have the midcard champions done?

The United States champion, which was Santino Marella this time last year (before Antonio Cesaro won the title at the Summerslam preshow), who lost it to Kofi Kingston three weeks ago, is 13-19 (40.62% win percentage), with 21 weeks not booked for a match. Eleven of the 21 weeks, Santino was champion, including five of the last six weeks he was champion. Also of interesting note: Cesaro has three losses on Raw to both Randy Orton and Ryback in non-title matches.

The Intercontinental champion has not fared much better. Cody Rhodes, Christian, The Miz, Kofi Kingston, and Wade Barrett have combined for a 17-22-1 record, with one no contest and 12 weeks not booked for a match. Side nugget: Kingston won seven times on Raw in eleven weeks as IC champion. The Miz, with twelve weeks as IC champion, won just twice on the flagship show. Christian, the champion before him, was treated better: he went 3-3, with four weeks not booked for a match.

In my lifetime, the midcard championships have never meant less with the champions continually losing in non-title affairs on Raw. You cannot expect your fanbase, myself included, to feel as if these titles matter if they keep losing this regularly. I'm not saying they should always win non-title matches, but once in awhile, they should be able to knock off a main event talent, or at least be competitive.

There have been meaningful feuds for the titles, and the men that have held them have catapulted into superstardom. It can still be that way. But first, they must be booked better...you know, like champions.

To see the last year for the United States and Intercontinental champions, go here.

via beastmodekillers.webs.com

This clearly hasn't been the case as of late. At least not the way they have been booked on the WWE show of record, Monday Night Raw.

Well, the answer, to put it bluntly is, "Not. Good".

So Tuesday morning, I went back further...to one year ago. Including Monday night, there have been 53 Monday Night Raw episodes since this day last year. How have the midcard champions done?

To see the last year for the United States and Intercontinental champions, go here.

Dear WWE, Please Don't Put Jack Swagger in a Ladder Match

2013-05-09T05:22:08Z

via img.thesun.co.uk

Due to my notorious temper coming to a head with spending time on a website I actually like, I've done my best to pick carefully the things in our beloved fake and gay sport that I merely dislike, and things that I actively get angry about. Violent, hateful rage can be a hell of a lot of fun, but damaging my coposters spirits with destructive bile just makes things less fun for everyone on the site. If I'm truly angry about something, I want to have a damn good reason for it.

Jack Swagger has provided that reason.

I'm hardly alone on the "fuck Jack Swagger in the face with a ladder" bandwagon. His bland matches and terrible promos quickly put him neck and neck with Ryback for the 2013 Cageside Seats's "Least Favorite Wrestler" Award, and his careless injuring of the inevitable 2013 Cageside Seats's "Most Favorite Wrestler" Award Winner Dolph Ziggler quickly shoved his ass to the front. I could probably write a fanpost dedicated to all the names Swagger could choose from in a TNA run, and it'd be the most popular of the year. Jack Swagger's carelessness has pissed me, and every single member of the Cageside community, right the fuck off, and now is definitely a worthy time to vent some truly ugly hate for a person who deserves it.

But I want more than just that. With this post, I want to help call WWE to take responsibility for the safety of the company's workers.

Under no circumstances must Jack Swagger be allowed to work a Ladder Match.

Ladder Matches, when done right, are pieces of pro wrestling art when put in the hands of guys like Dolph Ziggler. But the caveat is that long hunks of metal set into motion as weapons, even when planned out, are dangerous to the lives and careers of those involved. Anyone who's ever watched a ladder match live knows that feeling of mortal terror felt for the safety of those you're watching, and anyone who knows the difference between a good and bad worker knows that you'd only ever want those you can trust to wield long, metal instruments of destruction for the purposes of staged combat.

Jack Swagger can't be trusted with that. Multiple people have received concussions in this year alone in regular matches because of this careless idiot, and now WWE's about to put him in the most dangerous match they run?

No, it shouldn't go down like that. There's no possible benefit a human being alive can name to a Jack Swagger Ladder Match which justifies the risk. In a perfect world, WWE would job Swagger to Santino in a "You're Fired" Match next week: but at the very least, WWE can keep this clumsy motherfucker confined to regular matches until his contract expires and he gets to decide on his TNA name.

As for which moniker shall be "doing in the in the Impact Zone," I'll leave my fellow Cagesiders to post their favorite ones. Personally, I'm fond of "Jake Bravado" and "John Confidence."

via img.thesun.co.uk

Jack Swagger has provided that reason.

But I want more than just that. With this post, I want to help call WWE to take responsibility for the safety of the company's workers.

Under no circumstances must Jack Swagger be allowed to work a Ladder Match.

As for which moniker shall be "doing in the in the Impact Zone," I'll leave my fellow Cagesiders to post their favorite ones. Personally, I'm fond of "Jake Bravado" and "John Confidence."

Poll

How can Jack Swagger go fuck himself?

John Cena: The Most Brilliant Gimmick In Wrestling

2013-05-08T18:38:00Z

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

________________________

Did the title catch your attention IWC?

For all of you gasping for air, reaching for vomit bags, or foaming at the mouth, just hear me out - Let me just tell you what I think of John Cena:

He is, without a doubt, the most obnoxious, hypocritical, corny, child pandering, dickhead in the business today. Whenever I can go to a WWE event, I boo this man. My friends and I make sure we get fellow anti-Cena people in the crowd, to make our displeasure heard.

So, why did I just call it the most brilliant gimmick in wrestling? Because, it is, and we don't even know it.

As many bullshit things the WWE commentators say, they have said one thing that is 100% true, "Nobody gets a reaction out of the WWE universe like John Cena".

We have been waiting for a heel turn from superman for so long - but here's the thing, it happened in 2005. Vince McMahon may be a lot of things, but one thing he isn't, is a dumb businessman. I truly believe that Vince saw the backlash from smarks, and took it right to the bank.

Heel John Cena - would have done nothing. He would lose half his audience, the kids, and the smarks (well, we just really wouldn't care).

What I have come to realize, is that the way the WWE has handled John Cena is brilliant. He has become the Ultra heel of the decade, without turning heel once. We HATE him. There's corny faces we dislike, and then there's Cena. When Orton and Sheamus stood in front of a bunch of Smarks in NJ, they got random chants, and were disregarded. That shit did NOT happen for Cena. He got drowned with boos.

To me, this means something. It means that John Cena is OVER as a heel, in a genius way.

He is THE most talked about guy in the business, some hate him, and some love him. And for those who hate him, just making him a plain old heel, who doesn't like your city, and thinks your kids are ugly, takes away ALL the talk about him. He is the establishment. He is the uber face, and the man himself made a good analogy when he said he was like the New York Yankees. Vince, Trips, Stephanie, they all know that half their audience hates that shit, so they do it.

And, we do hate him.

Call it a conspiracy, call it wisdom, but I think Cena's whole thing, is a work. A bigger work than we could imagine. Because WWE knows the IWC and the smart fans, will never truly hate a Kayfabe heel, so they got under our skin, with an annoying, kayfabe babyface.

We want to see him get his ass kicked, and when that happens, PPV`s sell, and Asses are put in seats.

And no, I'm not a "Cena fan now"; I still think the motherfucker is the worst thing in the world. With that said, I think that they have created the most controversial man in the business.

Basically, they outsmarted the smart marks.

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

________________________

Did the title catch your attention IWC?

For all of you gasping for air, reaching for vomit bags, or foaming at the mouth, just hear me out - Let me just tell you what I think of John Cena:

So, why did I just call it the most brilliant gimmick in wrestling? Because, it is, and we don't even know it.

As many bullshit things the WWE commentators say, they have said one thing that is 100% true, "Nobody gets a reaction out of the WWE universe like John Cena".

Heel John Cena - would have done nothing. He would lose half his audience, the kids, and the smarks (well, we just really wouldn't care).

To me, this means something. It means that John Cena is OVER as a heel, in a genius way.

And, we do hate him.

We want to see him get his ass kicked, and when that happens, PPV`s sell, and Asses are put in seats.

And no, I'm not a "Cena fan now"; I still think the motherfucker is the worst thing in the world. With that said, I think that they have created the most controversial man in the business.

Basically, they outsmarted the smart marks.

CHIKARA The Ghost Of You Clings... Results and Reactions for May 4

2013-05-05T18:10:00Z

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

SPOILER Notice -- Warning: This post contains spoilers for the May 4, 2013 CHIKARA event in Porterdale, GA. It also contains a couple of second-hand spoilers from the May 3 event.

________________________

CHIKARA returned to action this past weekend with 'Battle Not With Monsters' and 'The Ghost of You Clings..." and luckily for you, we have the results from a wild weekend of CHIKARA action, catch the results from Battle & Ghost right here, but for now, let's take a closer look at a Cagesier's reactions from Ghost...

Part I: Warming Up the Crowd

The first match was by the local promotion that usually runs out of the venue. It was fine, with a couple of decent combo moments by the guys with matching outfits (Jon & Trey, which I know from the giant names on the backs of their Speedos). This may have been a dark match, as it happened before Gavin's song, but the Smart Mark cameras were rolling.

The Gavin song was a weak, but direct, rip on the Director of Fun; Gavin seems to have two feuds going, which is a lot for a guy who doesn't wrestle.

The second match was much more interesting. It was Chuck Taylor vs. some guy named Shenron. As far as I know, this match was not advertised, but there were a whole bunch of kids in the back holding up Shenron signs. They apparently knew Chuck Taylor was going to show up, too, as one of the signs was "Taylor fears Shenron." (I saw one of them with a sign in line, so it's not like Shenron passed them out before the match.) Of course, Taylor heeled it up and broke the sign in half before the match. In one of the many adorable kid moments of the night, the kid with the broken sign went around during halftime getting each of the wrestlers to autograph it.

So, Shenron's pretty good. He was flying around as much as he could with low ceilings, and the match was pretty athletic. Word on the internet is that Taylor and Gargano quit FIST Friday night, and Taylor was not a happy camper. He lost to Shenron, making a whole bunch of kids happy, and accelerating his downward spiral into wherever this storyline is going.

The third match was Jigsaw and Shard vs. Fire Ant and AssailANT. (I know the internet's all AssailANT, but I'm going by the shirt he wore later.) I remember Shard pinning AssailANT, but I can't seem to remember what led to that. It was a long drive home.

Part II: A Collection of Moments

Match number four was Gran Akuma vs. Sugar Dunkerton. The story of this match was Icarus. He kept on intervening to help Sugar, and Sugar kept waving him off. Eventually, things went sour. Icarus was caught messing with Akuma on the top rope, and Akuma won by DQ. After the match, much to the chagrin of the audience, Sugar flipped out. He's relatively local (Augusta, as I found out at halftime), and he was livid that he lost in front of his friends and family through no fault of his own. So he quit FIST.

I think that just leaves Icarus as a member of FIST, which brings to mind an ancient Zen koan: "How can a single man wear a similar outfit?"

The Amasis/Kobald match started off well, as Amasis drug Kobald around the ring and let every member of the front row pop Kobald in the chest. It was cathartic. I'm not a huge fan of Kobald, and Amasis pulled a Cena, shaking off two or three finishers before winning with a really weak-looking spinning elbow. It was not the best match of the evening.

The final match before halftime was Colony: Xtreme Force + Purple Ant vs. Spectral Envoy + Green Ant. This was advertised without the two additions, and I assume that was to keep from spoiling the Grand Champion result from Friday night. I wasn't terribly impressed with the match, but the crowd went crazy with the only "THIS IS AWESOME" chant of the evening. The high point was a set piece with three of each team in a row on opposite sides of the ropes, with one from each side trying to suplex one from the other. The momentum went back and forth between each pair in unison, until the trio inside the ring (the good guys) finally got their opponents over.

The end of the match was interesting. During the entire match, the baddies were trying to take off Frightmare's mask (like they did at WrestleCon). The match ended with Missile AssaultAnt removing his own mask and making it look like UltraMantis took it off, so the heels won by DQ. It actually looked kind of nifty.

Halftime came, and I was surprised by who got the love. You'd think from the DVDs that Sugar and Jakob would be favorites, but they were pretty available for chatting the whole time. Kingston was swamped. I didn't know he had that kind of fanbase.

Part III: Bruised and Beaten

Next up was Donst vs. Saturyne, and, as usual, Donst's nihilism dominated the segment. His real opponent, however, was Gavin. He started the bit by "shaving" Jakob's head with a razor that clearly wasn't on. Gavin stayed clear of the ring whenever Donst was in it, introducing Saturyne from the corner. Instead of Saturyne's usual every-type-of-move-in-the-book sampler, we got her being beaten and abused by Donst for almost the entire match, being, among other things, repeatedly powerbombed. She sold like gangbusters, though, and it got uncomfortable (which is good, since it was a heel doing the damage).

As the match was really Gavin vs. Donst, it ended with Gavin straying a little too close to the tiger cage and being grabbed by Donst. Of course, when that was broken up, Saturyne took the opportunity to quickly roll up Donst for the fall, which gave her a tiny bit of retribution for being slammed around the ring like a pigeon in a canvas bag. Donst got his hands back on Gavin, though, knocked him unconscious, cut off a huge chunk of his hair, and put it in his mouth. It looked like he swallowed it, which is pretty awesomely disgusting. The crowd chanted accordingly.

The last two matches were nuts and made the whole night worth the drive.

First up, the Grand Champion defense, Kingston vs. Angelosetti. Eddie Kingston came out with a slight limp, which I assume he got (or re-aggravated) in North Carolina. Angelosetti proceeded to demolish that leg for the entirety of the match. Touchdown was relentless, continually twisting, slamming, pounding, and stretching that leg, and Kingston got weaker and weaker on it, to the point where he couldn't even walk and only barely stand. Eventually, Kingston came out on top, but it didn't feel cheap, and he got "Thank You Eddie" instead of a Cena chant. Also, Touchdown increased his vocal fans from six of us to eight at the end of the match. There might not have been a whole lot of spectacular moves, but it felt intense. Because of the leg, the near falls felt like they were actually close, and it was hard to see how a hobbled Kingston could win until he did (off the top rope). I really liked this match.

Another adorable kid moment happened before the final match. The Batiri came out and acted all grrr arrgh. Then they stopped, looked kind of frightened, and pointed. There were two little girls wearing Batiri masks in the third row.

The story of the Campeones defense was an injury. Right after the first fall (a DDT by Batiri), Parker was hurt. Either he was actually hurt badly, or he's one of the greatest sellers in professional wrestling, because his face was red, he was crying, and had to be drug to the back. A slight knock on CHIKARA was that it took a couple of minutes before the help the ref called actually came. For the next 10 minutes, Matthews got whipped. The two Batiri relentlessly pounded him until a mistake left one of them on the ground, and Matthews snuck in a rollup for fall number one. The entire time, the crowd was loudly chanting "ONE POINT FIVE." Get it? It was actually pretty awesome.

Parker was a gamer, though, and came back out. If this was a work, he needs some sort of trophy for selling an injury. If not, he needs some sort of trophy for finishing the match. He was tagged in and gingerly worked to give Matthews a break. Also, Ophidian and Kobald were interfering the whole match. Ophidian still lands on his left foot when jumping down, so he's probably not healthy. Kobald sounds like a 5 year old at trash talk. When an (adult) fan said, "You're the worst," Kobald replied, "No, you're the worst!" They went back and forth repeating themselves over and over until Kobald had to join the action. Eventually, 3.0 retained, but they were pretty wrecked.

Final Thoughts

Of course, I rate the show an 'A' -- because live shows always feel like A's. I didn't see any mysterious packets change hands or anything suspicious, so I'll have to wait for the release to see if anything in the resignation storyline went down. I will definitely be giving smvod.com $10 when this becomes available. It's worth watching again.

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

SPOILER Notice -- Warning: This post contains spoilers for the May 4, 2013 CHIKARA event in Porterdale, GA. It also contains a couple of second-hand spoilers from the May 3 event.

________________________

Part I: Warming Up the Crowd

Part II: A Collection of Moments

Part III: Bruised and Beaten

Final Thoughts

Proposal for an Addition to Episode Reviews: "Watch, Clips, or Skip"

2013-05-02T17:31:27Z

As a Hulu Plus subscriber who watches wrestling on a delayed schedule, I'm sure I'm one of many who don't have enough time or patience every week to see each episode of WWE and TNA. I rely on the good people at Cageside Seats with their review grades on episodes (though I have to scroll through the spoilers to see the grade) to help determine if a show is worth my time.

I would love to see a poll on each review/recap where CSS readers can help us next-day stragglers sift through the crap and tell us what's worth our time.
An example of the poll options:

Watch - great episode front to back. Watch the entire thing.

Clips - decent episode with some bright spots. Watch the YouTube clips.

Skip - bad episode with mostly crappy matches and storytelling

And ideally this poll box/view results area would be near the top or somewhere that spoilers aren't directly next to it. Even if this poll idea doesn't fly, I'd appreciate the reviewers to adopt something like this. Thanks for hearing me out.

A Cagesider's first WWE experience!

2013-05-01T04:30:00Z

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

________________________

So, I attended a SmackDown taping! The WrestleMania Revenge Tour show last Saturday (Apr. 27) in Mannheim, Germany. I was accompanied by three others (their names have been altered for the sake of anonymity).

My primary cohort in this venture was "Mr. Smark", a fellow wrestling enthusiast and a valuable repository of wrestling history. We are approximately the same age and share mostly the same views on all things wrestling. The other two members of this expedition were "Mr. Pants", a fair-weather wrestling fan, a few years younger than me, who has watched WWE off and on since his grade-school days, and a "Ms. Sarajevo", someone who was aware of WWE, but never actually watched it before.

As stated in the title, this was my very first WWE show, ever. However, I have attended numerous independent shows, most recently those put on by the Virginia based promotion Vanguard Championship Wrestling (VCW).

In the days of my childhood, I would spend my summer vacations walking from my grandmother's house in Piedras Negras, Mexico to Arena De Toros or El Gimnasio Municipal to watch regional lucha libre loosely affiliated with Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre or Asistencia Asesoría y Administración. Mr. Smark, on the other hand, had attended WrestleMania's 18 & 28 as well as various WWE and WCW events around the northeast.

The venue was about 45 minutes from our collective place of residence, Mr. Smark and I used this time to educate Ms. Sarajevo on the more memorable events and storylines that happened around the time of the Attitude Era (aka Mr. Smark's and my formative years). These events included:

Brian Pillman pulling a gun on Steve Austin on live TV, the Katie Vick angle, Stephanie McMahon's crucifixion and various non-consensual marriages, Mark Henry and Mae Young's love "child", Mick Foley's infamous Hell in a Cell match with The Undertaker, and the I Quit match against The Rock made famous by the wrestling Documentary Beyond the Mat.

When we arrived to the arena, Ms. Sarajevo, incredulously uttered perhaps the most entertaining line of the night, "People are bringing their kids to this?"

Our seats weren't the best, since we waited until the Friday before to purchase tickets, but the arena (about 10k seats) was configured in such a way that practically all seats had a clear line of sight to the ring. Shortly after our first beer (with the exception of our designated driver, Mr. Smark) the show began.

Lilian Garcia came out to welcome the crowd and was met with a warm reception.

Match 1: Fandango vs. Ted DiBiase (Singles)

Fandango came out first, sashaying to the ring with his lovely dance partner, and much to our surprise, was booed. DiBiase's music hit with a small, default pop for the face. Try as we might, the four of us couldn't get a large contingent of attendees to do the Fandango, there were isolated pockets of Fandangoing fans, but never more than a dozen or so.

The match was entertaining enough, with both wrestlers playing to the crowd whenever the match tempo slowed. Fandango ultimately beat DiBiase with his variation of the side-Russian legsweep, followed by a guillotine legdrop from the top rope.

Once the match was over, Fandango did the usual berating of the crowd for their collective mispronunciation of his name.

Match 2: Santino Marella and Alex Riley vs. Primo and Epico (Tag Team)

Mr. Pants and Ms. Sarajevo were unfamiliar with Santino, but I had been talking him up as the greatest comedic wrestler currently on the roster... and he did not disappoint. The three of us were in stitches watching Santino's antics in and out of the ring. Mr. Smark was never too keen on comedy wrestling, but he did enjoy the generic Alex Riley getting beat up by Primo and Epico.

My favorite spot in the match was when Santino attempted a leaping tag but fell short only to be dragged back into the match by Primo (or Epico). Ultimately, Santino landed the Cobra, much to my delight, on Epico (or Primo) and won the match.

Match 3: Layla vs. Aksana (Divas)

The Divas were up next, much to Mr. Smark's and my chagrin, but to the amusement of Ms. Sarajevo and Mr. Pants.

Without a doubt, this was the longest singles Diva's match I have witnessed in quite some time. Excruciating as it may have been for the technical wrestling fan in me to watch, I did enjoy chanting non-sequiturs during every rest hold (and there were many). Of all the cliché wrestling phrases, I yelled--- "WE WANT TABLES" -- by far got the largest reaction, literally seven people laughed out loud.

Eventually, Layla won with the standard Diva's roll-up. Oddly, Ms. Sarajevo wanted more Diva matches.

Match 4: Mark Henry vs. The Usos (Handicap)

WHEN WE SAY "U", YOU SAY "SO"... U, SO (lame)! So Mark Henry beat up the twin sons of Rikishi. Nothing memorable here, but least Mr. Pants came to the realization that Mark Henry was once "Sexual Chocolate".

Match 5: The New Age Outlaws and Sheamus vs. The Shield (Six-man Tag)

The New Age Outlaws came out first, and having been snotty teenagers during DX's heyday, Mr. Smark and I marked-out incredibly hard, so hard in fact, that we startled both Mr. Pants and Ms. Sarajevo, and probably everyone within a 10-seat radius.

Regrettably, Road Dogg Jesse James and Bad Ass Billy Gunn are no longer in peak wrestling shape. Even from our vantage point near the rafters, we could plainly see that Jesse James was pudgier than ever (hence the shirt), and although Billy Gunn looked in shape, his cardio was nowhere to be found. He was huffing and puffing so hard after his entrance, he had trouble getting his two lines out; and if you're not down with that, we got two words for you: SUCK IT!

Even more unfortunate than their less than spectacular entrance, was that they were teamed up with Sheamus, who got a HUGE pop from the crowd when his entrance music hit. Mr. Smark and I, as Internet wrestling community (IWC) members could not stand for this, so booed as hard as possible (with the help the other two members of our crew), but it wasn't enough.

Then, The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns) came out through the crowd -- who was largely against them. The match itself was good, with Sheamus shouldering the load of the match, hitting all the major spots, the rolling slam, chest clubbing, white noise, and finally the brogue kick to set up the final pinfall.

The Shield, in their devious fashion, had Roman Reigns hit the spear, followed by a chair shot from Rollins that lead to a DQ loss, instead of an official pin/submission.

Match 6: Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel (IC Title)

I knew there was no way in hell that there would be a title change on a SmackDown house show. Once both Barrett and Gabriel were announced, I left for a pee break and to get some more beer. When I came back, the match was over, Barrett retained of course.

Match 7: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger (No DQ)

When Lilian Garcia first addressed the audience, she mentioned that there would be a twitter poll using two hashtags to determine if Zeb Colter would be ringside, or remain backstage during the match.

Mr. Smark had convinced our group that Colter would do something similar to JBL goose-stepping and that the poll was rigged to have Zeb say some inflammatory things.

Sure enough, the poll fell in favor of Colter and he had an open mic. He equated America's immigration problem to Germany carrying the bulk of the economic load for the European Union and urged the German crowd to break from the unbalanced partnership.

This was the longest match of the night, the two Superstars and their corner men (Colter and Rodriguez) can certainly work a crowd.

Being a No Disqualification match, Mr. Smark and I hyped up the possibilities to the two non-smarks that had joined us. Trash cans, thumbtacks, road signs, barbed-wire bats, kendo sticks, chairs, ladders, and tables, were just some of the foreign objects we hinted might be secretly placed under the ring.

Without fail, Colter delivered, he lifted the ring apron while Swagger was in a devastating cross arm-breaker and delivered a kendo stick. Swagger ferociously smacked Del Rio until he released the hold. Swagger now had the upper hand; he discarded the kendo stick in favor of his own wrestling arsenal, an atomic drop, gutwrench powerbomb, and Swagger bomb, all used in an attempt to get the pin.

Rodriguez, not willing to let his best friend and employer be finished in such a way, found a kendo stick of his own and handed it to his Jefe and now Del Rio had the upper hand. Two broken kendo sticks later and both wrestlers are down for the count.

Del Rio rolls out of the ring and finds the strength to pull a table from under the ring, now the crowd (including my crew and me) are rabid, and he had just enough time to get it in the ring before Swagger attacked. Swagger is on the offensive and takes the time to set up the table in a corner of the ring -- it's begging to be broken. While Swagger is concerned with the table, Del Rio finds a third kendo stick and does not hesitate to use it.

There aren't anymore implements under the ring, both wrestlers are spent, the crowd is going wild, and from deep within, Del Rio finds the strength to whip Swagger into the still intact table. This was the end for the "Real American", and Alberto Del Rio gets the pinfall victory.

Match 8: Randy Orton vs. The Big Show (Singles Main Event)

Now, for the main event. The Big Show is first to be introduced, and Mr. Pants understandably was marking out, he has been a fan of The Big Show since he was The Giant back in WCW. As was I, but I had a strong feeling about the outcome of this match. Ms. Sarajevo on the other hand, had a differing opinion and had quickly become enamored with The Viper's physique.

Try as we might, Mr. Smark and I could not convince Ms. Sarajevo that Fandango was objectively the more attractive wrestler, and she continued to root for The Apex Predator. A few Vintage moves later, The Big Show was set up for the RKO, and without fail, Randy hit his signature move -- the match was over, Orton prevailed.

________________________

The night was over, and the four of us had just experienced a great night of wrestling. But all for entirely different reasons:

For me, I got to attend my first WWE show, Mr. Smark had attended a show with a blend of smarks and marks, Mr. Pants had his passion for pro wrestling rekindled, and Ms. Sarajevo was exposed to the wonderful world of hot dudes and chicks in skimpy outfits who populate the WWE roster.

Thank you for your time.

(Side Note: I don't mean mark or smark to be terms used in a derogatory manner, just as a way to denote different attitudes found within WWE crowds)

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

________________________

When we arrived to the arena, Ms. Sarajevo, incredulously uttered perhaps the most entertaining line of the night, "People are bringing their kids to this?"

Lilian Garcia came out to welcome the crowd and was met with a warm reception.

Match 1: Fandango vs. Ted DiBiase (Singles)

Once the match was over, Fandango did the usual berating of the crowd for their collective mispronunciation of his name.

Match 2: Santino Marella and Alex Riley vs. Primo and Epico (Tag Team)

Match 3: Layla vs. Aksana (Divas)

The Divas were up next, much to Mr. Smark's and my chagrin, but to the amusement of Ms. Sarajevo and Mr. Pants.

Eventually, Layla won with the standard Diva's roll-up. Oddly, Ms. Sarajevo wanted more Diva matches.

Match 4: Mark Henry vs. The Usos (Handicap)

Match 5: The New Age Outlaws and Sheamus vs. The Shield (Six-man Tag)

The Shield, in their devious fashion, had Roman Reigns hit the spear, followed by a chair shot from Rollins that lead to a DQ loss, instead of an official pin/submission.

Match 6: Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel (IC Title)

Match 7: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger (No DQ)

Mr. Smark had convinced our group that Colter would do something similar to JBL goose-stepping and that the poll was rigged to have Zeb say some inflammatory things.

This was the longest match of the night, the two Superstars and their corner men (Colter and Rodriguez) can certainly work a crowd.

Match 8: Randy Orton vs. The Big Show (Singles Main Event)

________________________

The night was over, and the four of us had just experienced a great night of wrestling. But all for entirely different reasons:

Thank you for your time.

(Side Note: I don't mean mark or smark to be terms used in a derogatory manner, just as a way to denote different attitudes found within WWE crowds)

Wrestlers who should have been champ...but never were

2013-05-01T03:00:00Z

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

________________________

There were two reasons why I have to admit I was somewhat hesitant to write this FanPost about wrestlers who should have been champ, but never were. The first being that it has probably been asked a million times before, and the second being the shit storm of an argument it might start. But I decided to anyway.

Why? Because I know that everyone has certain affinities to certain titles, so you can choose any you'd like. I'll list mine with the top three wrestlers I think should have won each respective title, and I'll give my reason for each pick. If commenters don't stick to that formula, it's okay, I don't care. I just thought it would be interesting to compare answers and discuss. So here it goes...

WWE Championship:

1. Rick Rude --

This is the man Hogan should have passed the torch to. He had the look, the skills, and the charisma. Plus, he would have been one of the best heel champs ever, in my opinion.

2. Rowdy Roddy Piper --

Trading the title back and forth with Hogan should have happened during his time in the mid eighties. Piper deserved a run for being a catalyst of the Rock 'N' Wrestling era. Plus, he was a legit tough guy who was/is very well-respected in the industry.

3. Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase --

I really believe he deserved to wear the belt at some point, and have a legitimate title reign. He was highly-skilled, had a great character, and was golden in his promos. I mean for god's sake he had to create his own belt because they would not put the title on him.

WWE Intercontinental Championship:

1. Jake "The Snake" Roberts--

Still, to this day, I cannot believe he did not receive a run with the IC title. He was over big time as a heel and a face, was one of the best on the mic ever, and had one of the most unique characters of all time. It's a shame he didn't get even a short run.

2. Dusty Rhodes--

He should have been given the belt by default upon his entering the WWE. He has held basically every other belt known to man and was big time over when he came to WWE.

3. Ron Simmons --

Always loved his work and he should have been champion at some point during his tenure. I believe he would have been, had it not been for the rise of The Rock and his push to the moon.

WWE Tag-Team Championship:

1. Power and Glory --

They really put it all together in the early nineties. Hercules and Paul Roma had great chemistry together and both were above average wrestlers. Could have had a great run if given a chance.

2. The Ultimate Maniacs --

A throwaway team to some, but to me this was a perfect fit, and a great way to repackage the two during the end of their solo runs. I really thought the two could have dominated the Tag-Team division for a year or more. A missed opportunity because of mainly Warrior, but other factors as well.

3. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers --

Another throwaway team to some, but they had the heat, and the skill to have a chance at a run with the belts. Plus, they had Jimmy Hart as their Manager.

Well those are my picks. I didn't include any other titles because, quite frankly, I'm not well-acquainted with them. Now, I would love to hear the answers to this one, and the great discussions it could produce...peace.

Editor's Note: This FanPost has been mildly edited for promotion to the front page and various sections within Cageside Seats for your enjoyment, Cagesiders!

________________________

WWE Championship:

1. Rick Rude --

This is the man Hogan should have passed the torch to. He had the look, the skills, and the charisma. Plus, he would have been one of the best heel champs ever, in my opinion.

2. Rowdy Roddy Piper --

3. Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase --

WWE Intercontinental Championship:

1. Jake "The Snake" Roberts--

2. Dusty Rhodes--

He should have been given the belt by default upon his entering the WWE. He has held basically every other belt known to man and was big time over when he came to WWE.

3. Ron Simmons --

Always loved his work and he should have been champion at some point during his tenure. I believe he would have been, had it not been for the rise of The Rock and his push to the moon.

WWE Tag-Team Championship:

1. Power and Glory --

They really put it all together in the early nineties. Hercules and Paul Roma had great chemistry together and both were above average wrestlers. Could have had a great run if given a chance.

2. The Ultimate Maniacs --

3. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers --

Another throwaway team to some, but they had the heat, and the skill to have a chance at a run with the belts. Plus, they had Jimmy Hart as their Manager.