As announced yesterday, Cageside Seats held a fantasy draft with 14 competing Cagesiders choosing an ultimate Survivor Series team with one "Wildcard" pick thrown in.
At the conclusion of the draft we added two more last minute teams to give us an even 16 so we can do a tournament to crown a winner. Because, really, this was so much fun during the draft process that we must decide a winner to see who gets ultimate bragging rights.
Don't worry, while this is going on, the Cageside Seats Greatest Matches Tournament will take a break so the two don't need to share the spotlight.
Now, without further ado, here are the draft results. Some Cagesiders gave a summary to put their team over, and that shows up just under their team. Match-ups for the first round of the 16 team tournament will be announced later today. Stay tuned!
Earl Hebner (WC)
Led by the Showstopper, team bmf1314 represents power, technical ability, and high-flying action. The APA will beat you to a bloody pulp then clothesline you to hell. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat will fly around the ring and knock anyone out with a flying crossbody. And YES! if you are not done yet the Submission Expert, Daniel Bryan, will come in and break you. But if all else fails a superkick from Shawn Michaels will suffice. And Earl Hebner can wrap it up with a quick three count or phantom tap-out at Survivor Series. DAMN! team bmf1314 is The Best Team in the World.
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Why do I have to make a case? I have Robocop. That's seriously a guaranteed win. Haven't you ever seen Robocop? He's f@&%ing Robocop. What? That's not enough? Fine. Well the team is led by Stone Cold Steve Austin, your pick for the Greatest Wrestler of All Time! Stone Cold's old tag team partner from the Hollywood Blonde's Brian Pillman is next. Pillman was one of the best promo men in the business and was a hell of a worker. He could keep up with anyone on the mat yet also do all the crazyass luchadore top rope ridiculousness. Then you have the Five Time! Five Time! Five Time! Five Time! Five Time! World Heavyweight Champion Booker T ready to hop in on the hot tag. Clearing the house with Bookends and Spinaroonies and fucking Axe Kicks. Rounding out the team are two journey men. Maybe you've heard of them...Mick Foley and Terry Funk. Most of you probably remember their classic match against one another. Oh sorry for the typo, that was supposed to say "their classic matches against one another", because every single time they hooked it up, it was a classic. Their chemistry in the ring is why they worked so well together as a tag team. Funk may be remember as the hardcore icon but he is a helluva worker and is still doing moonsaults at 68 years old. Mick? Well Mick's a bit of a nut but you'll be hard pressed to find someone better on the microphone and in the ring.
But really, I have Robocop. That should be enough.
Macho Man Randy Savage
The Great Muta
Bam Bam Bigelow
Andy Kaufman (WC)
Leading off Team Buckeye Brawler is the captain and the toughest son of a bitch in the history of wrestling- Harley Race. Race sets the tone for Team Buckeye Brawler and will force all opponents to yield as he batters and bruises them into submission. Bringing spirit to the team is the Macho Man Randy Savage. A master of the ground and air the Macho Man elevates the game of everyone on his team while he wrestles circles around the opposing team with his amazing skillset and manic energy. Setting the pace is the perfect athletic specimen- Mr.Perfect himself Curt Hennig. Mr. Pefect will toe to toe with anyone put before him and deliver perfect results. Bring the power and strength to this line up is Bam Bam Bigelow. What happens when an immovable object meets and unstoppable force? Screw that I took both in Bigelow. Big, strong, and agile- Bigelow's ability is unmatched by any of the big men in this tournament. The X factor for Team Buckeye Brawler is The Great Muta, who brings a style rarely seen by the participants in this tournament and a few tricks up his sleeve. Rounding out Team Buckeye Brawler is the Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion of the World Andy Kauffman. Kauffman will provide a great distraction to the other teams with his cast of characters, hilarious routines, obnoxious promos, or threats of lawsuits. This great team of heels is ready for any situation and will do anything it takes to win.
Paul Heyman (WC)
You want heels, I got them. It all starts with the man in charge, Paul Heyman. He's held together stranger coalitions than this and I think this won't be to hard for him to do. I found a good balance of technicians and power guys and if it turned into a brawl I have the firepower to handle it. Between the five wrestlers there are a combined 22 world title reigns with numerous tag team title runs. How well would this team work, like a well oiled machine. You may as yourself how so, most of these guys best heel runs were when they were by themselves. Au contraire, CM Punk's best heel run may have well been the SES, The Giant when he was a member of the nWo, AJ Styles Fortune, Lex Luger was in many heel stables and KENTA's only heel run being as the leader of a stable. So working well in a team setting is definitely a strength of this team and add in a leader like Paul Heyman and we are cooking with gas. What this team lacks in huge stars, it makes up for in having five guys who have spent a large chunk of their career at the top of their companies that they work for and a guy who changed the game completely in the 90s. So show this team the respect it deserves.
Andre the Giant
The reason Team hfl2013 can beat all challengers is simple. This team is the perfect mix of bnrute strength, technical prowess, and high flying agility. They are managed by Raven, the man who has led successful factions in ECW, WCW, and TNA, who knows what it takes for all sorts of characters to work together towards a common goal. The power comes from Andre The Giant and Goldberg. Two men who have a near spotless record and can overpower any wrestler they face. The technical genius, Dean Malenko can be tagged in at any time and pinpoint his opponents weakness. Sharpshooters and boston crabs don't have a thing on the master of the Texas Cloverleaf. To add high flying moves and agility, Rey Mystrerio and Eddie Guerrero will keep their opponents off balance and add variety to the team's roster. The two go back years and Rey will make sure that Eddie doesn't use any of his heelish shenanigans on his own team. Of course, other teams won't be so lucky. Because sometimes, you need to lie, cheat, and steal in order to win. And that is what this team will do. They will win because that it is all they know how to do.
Manolo Has Pizzazz
Diamond Dallas Page
Road Warrior Animal
Road Warrior Hawk
Captain Lou Albano (WC)
Lesnar is the ass-kicking war machine with speed to conquer smaller opponents and power to vanquish giants. Warrior is the ball of fire with bursts of fury perfectly suited for this style of match. DDP is the heart and can eliminate an opponent in the blink of an eye. The Road Warriors add toughness and tag team strategy. Captain Lou's managerial experience with all walks of life will aide communication abilities in farmboy, galactic, and street; plus he's not afraid to involve himself physically if need be. The team's championship pedigree proves this bunch has the heart to take a licking and keep on ticking.
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan (WC)
Allow me to beg your indulgence...
To be the Man, you have to beat the Man...and I have 5 men here who will ALL tell you that they are, indeed, THE MAN...and back it up! The jet flying, limousine ridin' stylin' and profilin' sixteen time world heavyweight champion is here! Woooo! The dirtiest player in the game is bringing with him, the one and only, Gorgeous George. If guts is all it takes, he's got plenty. And in the craziness of Survivor Series, you can get away with anything. If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. Just remember to keep your dirty hands off his hair! Our next man is greatness personified, Randy Orton. A third generation superstar, his accomplishments are endless! Plenty of legends in this tournament, and he will kill every last one of them! Rounding out the team is the most intellectually compatible team in WWE history, the Rhodes Scholars! And lest you think all these egos can't coexist, they are being managed by the greatest manager of all time...a man who recognizes true greatness and goes after it...a man who has worked with his fair share of egos throughout his career...Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Intellectually compatible indeed...
Whether you like em or not, learn to love it, because they're the best thing going. You may hate them, you will watch them, because you know they're the best. This ain't no garden party, brother, this is wrestling, where only the strongest survive. So, you misguided miscreants, look deep inside of you...you may not admit it out loud, but you know this team is the best. Vote accordingly.
Rob Van Dam
Paul Bearer (WC)
No team in the Cageside Seats Survivor Series tournament comes even close to matching the unholy collection of talent featured on Team DarkTalon. A simple glance at the lineup shows you a legitimate "Greatest of All Time" contender in the Undertaker, a WWE Hall of Famer in Edge and another future Hall of Famer in Kane. Add in Christian who, teaming up with Edge, gives you one of the greatest tag teams of all time and the highest (flying) man on the planet in Rob Van Dam, this team is loaded from top to bottom.
In the prime of their careers, the "Brothers of Destruction" combined to epitomize pure wrestling dominance. When they teamed up, there were few other tag teams in the world capable of competing with them. Further cementing them is the presence of manager Paul Bearer, who will act as the team's mouthpiece and manager.
In addition, there is the team of Edge and Christian, considered by many to be one of the greatest tag teams of all time, if not THEE greatest tag team ever. As lifelong friends, E&C have fantastic chemistry. Their experience working as a championship caliber team and their in-ring prowess will be fantastic assets to Team DarkTalon.
Finally, there is the group's secret weapon: Rob Van Dam. The acrobatic high flier is capable of performing a wide array of captivating moves, sure to get the fans pumped up every time he hits the ring.
These five wrestlers teaming up in the prime of their careers would prove to be an unstoppable force in a traditional Survivor Series match. Combining top-notch wrestling ability with tag team experience at the highest levels, Team DarkTalon has to be the odds on favorite to win the Cageside Seats Tournament.
Stu Hart (WC)
Stephanie McMahon (WC)
What you are looking at here, folks, is one of the best heel teams ever put together. Sure, there have been times each and every one of them has been good guys. But in this incarnation they are bad to the bone.
Leading the way is The Rock and Triple H, two of the greatest stars of the Attitude Era. While they may have a great rivalry between them, the drive to win will pull these two together for a single match. Maybe you're a fan of the old school? Well, we have "Ravishing" Rick Rude to satisfy your desires. One of the best heel in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, his in ring skills are undeniable. You want some crazy in your heels? Sycho Sid is your man. Standing at an imposing 6 foot 9 inches, he was quick to terrorize those who stood in his way. Rounding out the group is the unstoppable Mark Henry. You may point at his "Sexual Chocolate" gimmick and laugh. I will simple show you his dominating run through 2011 as he inducted victim after victim into the "Hall of Pain."
You may look at this team and see too much ego and conflicting personalities. I got just the person to keep everyone in check: "The Billion Dollar Princess" herself, Stephanie McMahon. The only female to grace this Survivor Series matchup, she has proven she can lead any stable. As the head of the McMahon-Helmsly Faction and The Alliance, as well as the greatest SmackDown General Manager in the history of the "Blue Brand", her sexiness is only matched by her iron will. There will be no infighting while Steph is in charge.
There should be little doubt of the abilities of this group. There will be no mercy upon those who stand in their way. These men may not be getting cheers from the fans.
But they sure as hell will be standing tall at the end of the night.
Jim Cornette (WC)
You cant get anymore Charismatic as this team. I mean cmon, even the big guy at 600 pounds can fly around like he was the 1-2-3 kid. He can wear down his opponent just standing in the middle of the ring. Then you have one of the best tag teams in wrestling history. That right there would be all it would take to run through the roster one after another. Then you have Extreme. The scars on his body tells the greatest story ever told. Should be enough right there right? These guys ignore pain (Insert Jeff Hardy joke here) and use there own bodies as weapons of mass destruction. and right when you think it cat possibly get any better, Mr Charismatic himself comes in and lays waste. He is the REAL legend killer, and most importantly, the best in the world at what he does. He has no remorse, especially on any superstar past or present. WM25 will prove that. Together, this team has held gold a combined 119 times. They have done it all. Now they are after CCS gold. So whats it gonna be Cagesiders?
Eric Bischoff (WC)
nWo Fake Sting
Chemistry? I've got it. This is only the greatest supergroup in the history of pro wrestling. Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash can out politic anyone in the business, as they showed time and time again. I've also got a kick ass tag team in Nash and Hall, The Outsiders. And if all else fails, The Million Dollar Man can just buy out this whole damn tournament. With Bischoff calling the shots in his better days, nothing could go wrong. And nWo Fake Sting is here just to throw you off the trail. Remember, Cagesiders, when you're nWo, you're nWo 4 LIFE.
Freddie Blassie (WC)
Roddy Piper, the man who made Hulk Hogan lose his hair, heard about the cSs Survivor Series and knew it was a great chance to show he was smarter, quicker...better than anyone else in the business. First order of business was to bring in some legit badasses. A two-time Olympic gold medalist, the only triple crown winner in both WWE and TNA, the first man to have held the WWE, WCW, TNA, IWGP, and World Heavyweight Championships in his career, much of it with a BROKEN FREAKING NECK? Kurt Angle was in. A super-heavyweight who can fly, and wasn't afraid to let a little thing like having his EYE POPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET keep him from finishing his business. The man they call Vader would wreak the same havoc he had around the globe for Team s1rude. Disappointed that 'The Man' they had run with for so many years thoughout NWA territories had signed up with a different squad, WWE Hall of Famers Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard - veterans and champions while working together and within a larger unit - round out this old school heel group with Double A's strength and Blanchard's speed. Calling the shots from the floor - NWA and WWE Hall of Famer, a man who's fought and managed the best of the best for four decades, the fashion plate of pro wrestling, Classy Freddie Blassie.
"Just when you think you know the answers, we change the questions...Oh it's time, it's time...it's true, it's damn true...only once before has so much damage been caused by so few...ya pencil-necked geeks."
Jake "The Snake" Roberts
"Superfly" Jimmy Snuka
Mike Tyson (WC)
John Cena is the figure head of this team. He's the biggest star in the business bar none and he has been for the better part of a decade. He stirs the drink in the wrestling world today.
The only bigger name in the business is the biggest name of all time, Vince McMahon, who is not only pulling the strings on this team but in the entire sport. And even though McMahon is in his wrestling gear and will teach you some respect if you give him a chance (let's not forget he whipped CM Punk a few weeks ago) he has an insurance policy in his hand picked enforcer, Iron Mike Tyson, the genuine baddest man on the planet!
Back that up with 2 of the best and most cerebral all around wrestlers ever in Dusty Rhodes and Jake "The Snake" Roberts cutting killer promos and backing it up in the ring.
Finally, we have the best and most famous high flying specialist of all time in Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka jumping off the top of steel cages at MSG and just generally being awesome, it's going to be tough to beat this team.
And if anyone stands in their way or presents too big of an challenge... THEY'RE FIRRRRREED!!!!!
Bruno Sammartino wipes a monkey's ass with CM Punk's pathetic 360-day reign as WWE Champion. Bruno reigned as the sole-surviving WWWF Champion for over 2800 consecutive days from 1963 to 1971 and for over 1200 consecutive days from 1973 to 1977!
That's more than 4000 combined days on top! Math like that can be difficult for most wrestlers, but fear not, Team Kanenite also features Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner. The Genetic Freak is on the team to provide his uncanny ability to perform the most intractable mathematical computations that any man can devise. Scott Steiner says there is no chance Team Kanenite can lose.
Dave Batista's primary role is to eat PG-era wrestlers like a stack of Pringles. Nothing makes Batista rage more while he is roiding than seeing a puny nobody like CM Punk running around like a big shot in the WWE. Batista also serves as a medical trainer. He will provide insta-roids to his teammates as needed during the match, transforming everybody into unstoppably destructive Super Saiyan behemoths.
Shane Douglas is a true Paul Heyman Guy. He brings elite hardcore franchise leadership to Team Kanenite. This man used his magnetic presence to hypnotize great wrestlers such as Bam Bam Bigelow, Chris Benoit, and Dean Malenko into doing his evil bidding. Not even Steve Austin and Cactus Jack could dethrone Shane Douglas as The Franchise leader and master manipulator of ECW. Just imagine what this man is capable of when he has Bruno Sammartino and Dave Batista serving at his beck and call?
Finally there is The King of Wrestling, Jerry Lawler. He is serving on Team Kanenite for four reasons: to be a king, to piledrive the shit out of any adversarial peons, to distract his foes with awful commentary, and to provide dental care to his teammates if necessary. He has a really good dentist.
And Sunny is the manager of Team Kanenite. One look at her eye-popping assets renders any foe helplessly Orton Hard and laughably easy prey for follow-up signature maneuvers. She handles this task with ruthless efficiently.
Bubba Ray Dudley
AJ Lee (WC)
Of course Team ECW would not be invited to partake in the draft. Drafts are for suckers, sellouts and weak WWE storylines. With leftovers and spare parts we are led to the ring by Sabu's personal neck breaker The Crippler Chris Benoit. Flying head butts, multiple German suplexes and a crippler crossface for anyone who stands on the other side of us. Hit the pyro as Bubba Ray Dudley and Devon Dudley walk to the ring with a purpose, each with a table under their arm. Those Damn Dudleys.
For the team of underdogs we have the ultimate underdog Tommy Dreamer. The Heart and Soul of ECW, the Innovator of Violence cue up Man in the Box by Alice In Chains as Dreamer enters the ring with two chairs as weapons. Lights go out Metallica's Enter Sandman hits the speakers (crowd marks out) with a Singapore cane in one hand and a can of stale PBR in the other Sandman enters the ring.
"Let's Light It Up.! Light It Up, Light It Up....." Joey Styles turns into a 12 year old boy on the mic and loses his mind as AJ Lee has jumped ship to manage Team ECW. Lee (in her hottest outfit...referee outfit or that gif. , where here she does Yes! Chants in her bathing suit) walks to the ring blows a smarky kiss in the direction of Bryan and Punk, spits at Heyman for not manning up to corner Team ECW, the the camera pans to Vinny Mac who makes a dumbfounded Mr. McMahon face and finally John Cena is met with a low blow as the crowd starts to chant Yes! Yes! Yes!
There you have it, Cagesiders. Thoughts on the teams? Any favorites to win it all?
Be on the lookout for tournament match-ups later!