FanPost

Dean Ambrose is My Spirit Animal

Like almost every wrestling fan you talk to these days, I love me some Dean Ambrose. After I became a wrestling fan back in April, it didn’t take me long to find out what a Dean Ambrose Girl was or that I pretty much was one.

But the more I watch, the more I have to be honest with myself about why I love watching this guy. Early on, I would have said he was my "wrestling crush" – after all, here’s an attractive man on television doing stuff, and here I am hanging on his every word, gazing at every punch and kick. It must be celebrity-love… right?

Ambrose is 28 and I’m, well, not 28 anymore (let’s call it mid-30s and leave it at that, shall we?), so it seemed a little embarrassing to find myself fan-girling it up with a group that trends a good 15 years younger than I am. But as much as that might have embarrassed me, it actually drew me up short when I realized that the real reason I feel so drawn to him is not a crush – it’s because I identify with him.

Yep. Let that sink in, 30-something single career woman. You identify with a pro-wrestler whose gimmick is mental instability.

Once it all started making sense, though, it helped me realize why Ambrose is such a draw for me, and it helped me enjoy watching him that much more.

He talks about his feelings.

Looking back over Dean’s time with the Shield, and most especially in his couple of months as a singles competitor, this is a character that doesn’t just go to tough-guy chatter or cheesy jokes to intimidate his foes. He simply tells the camera, the interviewer, his Shield partners – whomever he’s speaking to – what’s going on with him.

During the Shield’s feud with Evolution, I recall him describing something Evolution had done to Seth and Roman and then yelling, "I don’t like how they make me feel!" In another good example, when he finally got in the ring against Seth (well, and Kane, but it was really about Seth) during a recent Smackdown, he threw his former friend into the corner, punching him, yelling, "I loved you, Seth! You were my brother!" Yep, putting it right out there. He has feelings! He will express them! Heart on his sleeve – he simply shows people who he is.

I can relate to this impulse. Sometimes I follow through on it, and other times I clam up. But I always admire people who can just say what they think and feel without hesitation.

He doesn’t let go of anything.

Okay, so, when it’s a deadly grudge against his sworn enemy, it’s maybe not the healthiest trait. But this… I get this. What I understand and admire about it is the bone-deep level of commitment. This isn’t a decision – "Well, I should really haunt Seth Rollins now," or "I’m getting tired of vengeance, but I should press on with it" – it’s a state of being. When you feel things that deeply, to where they just don’t go away and you don’t change your mind about them, it’s like having a nuclear power source that you can use for good or for evil.

Happily, I have never been in a blood feud. Or even a pro-wrestling feud. But I know what it’s like to have my mind so obstinately made up that even when I stand back from the situation and think about whether I should change it, I feel like it’s impossible to do so. I utterly and completely "get" the depth of emotion behind the Ambrose "haunting" of Rollins, to where it makes perhaps too much sense to me. If this were real life, then yes, he would need to work on letting go. Perhaps that’s why fiction is so great; it will be cathartic to watch him get revenge.

He may be a lone wolf, but he values his closest friends.

Dean’s entire mission in WWE-life right now centers on the loss of a friendship. He’s not the party boy in the middle of the crowd, a la Dolph Ziggler, with a bunch of other friends to turn to. But being on your own doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people – it might simply mean that you zero in on a couple or few people who matter to you the most, and you don’t let go of them.

Even though WWE hasn’t maintained the Ambrose/Reigns connection the way I would have liked, they did give it a nice nod on the way out, with a Renee Young interview during the RAW post-show on June 9 in which Ambrose promised they’ll still travel and hang out together regardless of Triple H’s desire to break them apart. And on a SmackDown a few weeks later, Reigns ran in to help Ambrose during a beat-down. Additionally, when Orton beat up Reigns on RAW a couple weeks back, it was mentioned that Ambrose was not in the building; I like to think that was because Ambrose wouldn’t have allowed Orton to get away with that.

Dean doesn’t appear to have many friends, but the ones he has, he cares about – Reigns, whom he’s loyal to, and Rollins – whom he couldn’t keep as a friend, but he doesn’t have the capacity to "just move on" from a personal connection like that. I get this completely – I usually want to be alone, but when I connect to someone, I care to a level I can’t describe.

Watching Dean Ambrose has become less about "ooh, he’s cute" or "ooh, I like that guy – I hope he wins." It’s become more about admitting, "I see aspects of myself in him." When someone puts him down, when he’s treated unfairly, I feel for him and with him, far more than anyone else on the roster. When he succeeds – not just in a match, but in standing up for himself, in making himself heard, in getting justice – I feel great.

And now I can admit to myself that it’s less about him, more about realizing how this character makes me reflect on who I am as a person. Who knew you could get that much self-reflection out of a wrestling show?

Thanks, Ambrose.

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.