FanPost

The Whole Damn Straight Edge Show? Hollywood J Blaq Presents: WW-IF! Wrestling What-If's Volume 4

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Welcome to WW-IF! Volume 4. This week we are going to an alternate reality. One where RVD and Sabu don't get arrested for drug possession. Why is this important you ask? I will have Wikipedia explain:

On July 3, 2006, RVD and Sabu had been arrested on the previous evening on U.S. Route 52 in Hanging Rock, Ohio. RVD had been stopped for speeding by an Ohio State Highway Patrol trooper, who discovered that he was in possession of 18 grams of marijuana and five Vicodin pills, while Sabu was in possession of drug paraphernalia and nine tablets of Testolactone. Both RVD and Sabu were released after posting bail, and were scheduled to appear in Ironton Municipal Court on July 6, 2006.

According to the WWE's wellness policy, a drug-related arrest can lead to that talent's immediate dismissal from the company. WWE Vice President of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis released a statement on WWE.com reporting that RVD and Sabu were still eligible to compete on the Raw and ECW tapings in the following days while an investigation conducted by WWE was being undertaken. This resulted in RVD dropping the WWE Championship at the live Raw one night and the ECW Championship the next night at the ECW taping. Van Dam was subsequently suspended without pay for 30 days, and an on-air segment on ECW was scripted to relay this suspension to the fans.

Because of this, it led to the downfall of WWECW, and Van Dam would never again be considered as a serious contender for the WWE Championship. It also eventually led to his entirely unmemorable stint in TNA.

But the beauty and the magic of the WW-IF can rectify all of this. So let's hop on the WABAC machine (thanks for the keys, Wellington's Wellingtons. I'll bring it back in one piece) and like the DuckTales song says: we'll rewrite history!

This is WW-IF!

Act One: Loss Prevention

In order to achieve the desired result, we kill the Batman we take the pills and weed out of the car and makes sure he goes home safe. But things like this have drastic effects on the future. This ensures there's no Big Show ECW title reign, and no July 3 title loss.

So let's go to about a week after July 3. On the ECW side of things, Rob Van Dam gets into a feud over his ECW championship with Big Show. Van Dam ends up winning that series of matches and takes on all comers, including Hardcore Holly, and Kane. This leads us all the way to SummerSlam (and I will get to that in just a moment).

On the WWE front, John Cena and Edge are feuding like children over who gets a shot at RVD's WWE title. After a few confrontations between Cena and Edge, It is then decided that the WWE Championship will be decided in a TLC match at SummerSlam. RVD says that he will also defend his ECW Championship against anyone in the ECW locker room that wants a shot. Out comes:

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Tommy Dreamer says that every time he has had an opportunity to become the ECW champion, he has been screwed out of the title. He then says that he wants an opportunity to prove to the entire world that he belongs in this business and that he's more than just a one trick pony. He challenges RVD to an Extreme Rules match at SummerSlam for the ECW Championship. RVD agrees. So we have ourselves a match, and RVD is pulling double extreme duty at SummerSlam.

At SummerSlam, the opening match was the ECW championship match between Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam. What was an excellent match turned south as Kane, Big Show, and Mike Knox came out and jumped them. In turn CM Punk, who was feuding with Mike Knox, comes out, and you know what that means:

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RVD, Dreamer, and CM Punk go on to win the match, and though Dreamer didn't get his title shot, this would lay down the foundation for the next few months in ECW.

The WWE championship match ended in an awesome spot where Cena gives Edge the FU off the ladder through several tables:

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Which then leads to Van Dam giving a Van Terminator-style kick from the corner to the ladder that Cena is standing on, sending him outside the ring. Rob Van Dam climbs the ladder and retains the WWE Championship!

Act 2: New Breed Rising

Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer would go on to friendly feud over the ECW championship. It all culminated at Survivor Series, where Tommy Dreamer turns heel during a match for the WWE championship against John Cena. Dreamer gives RVD the Dreamer Driver while the ref was out, and Cena pins RVD.

Dreamer takes on a new corporate swag-type of attitude, saying that enough was enough.

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RVD was too focused on the WWE title, and needed extra motivation in order to take Tommy Dreamer seriously. Out comes CM Punk. He says that he had shot after shot after shot, and doesn't deserve another one, and that maybe a guy who has gone undefeated since being in ECW should get a shot at the title. Out comes Sabu, who just says nothing. Then comes Hardcore Holly, who says he should get a shot because he has pinned everyone except CM Punk, which he'll be happy to do in the Elimination Chamber. Then out comes Test, who, as the newest member of the ECW roster, feels he should get a shot because he's more extreme than anyone out here right now. Then comes RVD:

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He says, "You all want a shot at the 'Whole Dam Show'? Well there's a pay-per-view (PPV) called December to Dismember, and since you boys wanna get it on, we can do it, and we can do it 'Extreme'. I'll make a call to Paul Heyman, and makes sure he brings the Elimination Chamber into town, and we can have ourselves an Extreme Elimination Chamber match'.

Everyone agrees.

At December to Dismember, a focused RVD wins it, eliminating CM Punk last, who eliminated three opponents in the match. This would start the CM Punk-RVD feud.

CM Punk would get a one on one opportunity against RVD at the Royal Rumble, and they would end up having a five star match that would be kick start a series of epic encounters, with RVD winning this round. But this was far from over.

CM Punk cuts a promo the next night that he knows he can beat RVD, and he was one mistake away from taking home the title. It won't happen again. RVD comes out and shows respect, and says he is willing to give him a shot....and then BAM! Elijah Burke, Kevin Thorn, Marcus Cor Von, and Matt Striker come out and jump only RVD and not CM Punk.

This leaves both CM Punk and RVD in a bad spot, because it is not known whether CM Punk is with these guys or not. Over the next few weeks, the team now known as The New Breed keep assaulting ECW Originals, and while there was a scheduled match at WrestleMania 23 with the ECW originals vs. the New Breed, the latter group's assault left only RVD standing. RVD asked the one person he didn't know if he could trust, and that was CM Punk. They decided to put their rivalry on hold and form the team called "The Whole Dam Straight Edge Show" for one night only at WrestleMania 23, with the stipulation being if CM Punk won, he would get a shot at the ECW championship.

At WreslteMania 23, "The Whole Dam Straight Edge Show" performed valiantly and won the match with 2-on-4 odds stacked against them. This gives CM Punk his match at One Night Stand, which was a passing of the torch, as CM Punk beat RVD for the title on the very PPV Rob Van Dam won it at a year ago:

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Rob Van Dam and CM Punk shake hands, as RVD leaves ECW to take care of his wife, who has cancer.

Act 3: Aftermath

Since Vince McMahon never won the ECW title, that whole disgracing ECW never happened (thank god).

CM Punk would go on to have a successful run as ECW champion, and defend it against old school and new school wrestlers alike. Since there was no Vacant ECW title, Chris Benoit didn't wrestle for it. On a plane on june 15th, he ends up having a deadly seizure and passes away. It is later found out that Chris Benoit's brain was almost mush due to repeated injuries along with steroid use, but his life is celebrated as an excellent mat technician and he goes into the Hall of Fame.

John Morrison goes on to be CM Punk's villainous proxy and eventually beats him for the belt in October. But they have a rivalry for the ages that was wrestling gold. And because of this and the high ratings of ECW, the brand stays alive and almost becomes its own universe for a few years.

Thank you, Cagesiders! This was awesome reliving 2006-2007 WWECW, the best time in the brands life. Next week we will be Cagesiders' choice!

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.