With WrestleMania 30 all set to invade the Mercedes-Benz Superdome this coming Sun., April 6, 2014, live on pay-per-view (PPV) and the WWE Network, it's time to go about making predictions for the biggest show of the year. The match card is filled out and the cSs staff of learned blowhards will give their best guess on who is going to emerge victorious this weekend.
But instead of doing this all in one post and giving you a wall of text and 3,000 words to read through, we'll give the top five matches their own post then cover the undercard.
Got it? Good. Up next:
Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
The General: Let's just get it out of the way: Undertaker isn't losing this match. There's simply no way in hell WWE would be stupid enough to book him to lose to Brock Lesnar. Actually, there's no way in hell "The Deadman" would agree to do the job, but that's neither here nor there. So why would you care to see this if you already know the winner? Because something is going to happen during the match that will change your mind. Based on the story they seem to be telling at present time, I imagine Brock will succumb to some early offense from "The Phenom", still jittery at this massive undertaking of his, but once he settles into a groove, he'll take over the match and go about absolutely destroying Undertaker. I'm talking utter and complete destruction. Not like what Triple H did at WrestleMania 27 towards the end of their match. I'm talking twice as bad. I'm talking like Lesnar F-5'ing 'Taker through the Spanish announce table, then picking Undertaker up to put him in the ring to speed up his beating of the 10-count just so he can F-5 'Taker through the American announce table. It has to be a full on relentless assault and because it's "The Beast", it will become increasingly more difficult to believe Undertaker will win, even though we know he will. They'll create that doubt.
Sean Rueter: Haven't been a fan of this match-up since it started as a rumor, because there is zero suspense in the outcome. That's still the case, but I'm pretty excited nonetheless. These are two guys who can get you fired up for pro wrestling without ever opening their mouths, and they've got me wanting to see the ways they'll do damage to one another. The story will not have the epic scope that four years of HBK and Hunter gave us, but I think it could be every bit the spectacle we were treated to last year when old whatshisname was challenging The Streak. Just give me a well-worked ten minutes followed by Brock's angry/scared face and Paul Heyman screaming something hilarious right before a tombstone, then maybe someone in a trenchcoat with a baseball bat, and I'll be a happy camper.
Hulk Holland: This is probably the only lock on the entire card, but considering the caliber of wrestlers involved, it should still prove to be a fun ride. The Undertaker's streak is the ultimate gimmick in pro wrestling and one that isn't going to be handed over without monumental evidence that doing so will greatly benefit the bottom line. How does losing to Brock Lesnar help anyone involved? "The Beast Incarnate" moves the needle just by showing up. Wins and losses don't matter (see Cena, John) and it would be pointless to give him such a terrific rub, just to have him pack his bags and hole up in his mountain compound until next year's Royal Rumble. If it ever does get broken, expect it to be against an established star who still has a solid five-plus years left at the top. I can't say that about Lesnar, but I can say I will enjoy watching these two kill each other in 'Nawlins.
Keith Harris: There's been a tremendous amount of debate online about whether The Undertaker's streak should ever be broken, but few are arguing it should happen at WrestleMania 30. An honour like that shouldn't be given to a work-shy part-timer on the downswing of his stardom, who is highly unlikely to be around for years to come. The streak also should continue until it's clear The Deadman only has one or two matches left in the tank, at the very least. There's been no talk of immediate retirement, so this prediction is one of the safest no-brainers you'll ever see.
Cain A. Knight: This is the match that I am by far the most excited for on the WrestleMania card. Yeah, the storyline has been disappointing, but does anybody doubt that this match will deliver the goods? Undertaker's match has been the best fight on the card for 7 consecutive WrestleMania events. Brock Lesnar is one of the most entertaining pro wrestlers the world has ever known. The stakes of the undefeated streak always provide compelling drama. When you combine all those factors together, I am eternally Orton Hard at the thought of these two legends battling it out on this stage. We all know that Undertaker is winning, but this match will still have that moment where our hearts race with excitement and we hold our breath as Lesnar covers Undertaker for an almost certain 1-2-3. And when Undertaker kicks out, we are going to mark out like crazy and shout out celebratory profanities while high-fiving our buddies and generally losing our minds. And this is why we love pro wrestling.
Those are our predictions, Cagesiders. What are yours?