What you need to know
Living Colour's biggest hit blared through the speakers at Allstate Arena, but the man it once heralded did not appear. His one-time manager did take the opportunity to antagonize a crowd that was hoping for CM Punk, and to hype his current client, Brock Lesnar's WrestleMania showdown with The Undertaker. Mark Henry got F5'd through the announce table, because that's what he do these days.
Phase II of WWE's hijack #HijackRAW plan involved The New Age Outlaws actually acting like heels for this first time in their tag title reign. It would be the last time, as well, since The Usos finally broke through the glass ceiling and took the bronze eagles.
Those are the two teams that are still together. Zeb Colter is doing everything he can to keep his Real Americans together, but not only did their lack of harmony earn Big E two disqualification wins on Monday night, but Cesaro and Jack Swagger early came to blows around both matches. Even a nice patriotic hug didn't seem to put everyone on the same page.
Bigger break-up news comes from The Hounds of Justice, where Seth Rollins' decided that he had had enough of being the glue, or the peacemaker, or whatever the announcers wanted to call the guy that works most of a trios match and then has to keep his partners from acting like petty kids. This time, it was his turn to walk away from Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose. The Shield took another loss to The Wyatts as a result, and Seth remains conflicted. And AWOL.
John Cena is banged up, but the road to the top of WWE still goes through him. And he welcomes Bray Wyatt to try and take a trip down that road. Dolph Ziggler's road to Raw was driven in a Mustang with Aaron Paul. A little distraction from his movie star buddy helped The Show Off take down Alberto Del Rio.
The Emma Lock forced Summer Rae to tap out again this week, this time in a mixed tag match with their partners. The Bellas also won a match, because the return of Total Divas is near, I guess.
Christian and Sheamus are locked in an old school, "you think you're better than me?" program that many in the Chicago-land area don't care much about, but I like it.
Speaking of people not caring about stuff, Triple H doesn't care what Rosemont, Illinois or any other arena full of marks thinks. He's not fighting Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania or anywhere else because he's not an A player. Not even after he gets a compelling match out of Big Heel Batista, or inserts himself as a third player in the WWE World Heavyweight Championship picture by clearing the ring of both Dave and Randy Orton.
The Authority head might sell a kick, but at the end of the night he's going to pedigree your hero, stand tall and take your money while you chant whoever's name you want.
What to look out for
Managed to avoid spoilers this week, but if you want them for the show that was taped Tuesday in Detroit, they're on Cageside Seats right here.
Big Show's back and you're gonna be in trouble, hey na, hey na, Big Show's back. Excited now? If my song doesn't work for you, I don't know what will.
This being Friday night, I'd also expect some fighting - probably in a hastily booked tag team match. I'd also expect the big angles to be avoided while issues like The Real Americans break-up and the programs between Sheamus, Christian, Ziggler and Del Rio get some time to breathe.
What they should do
I don't know about them, I'm just trying to figure out what we should do with our Smackdown previews.
Last week's eagle-themed post:
8 comments, 2 Recs
The previous week's beautiful girls-themed post:
12 comments, 0 Recs
How many comments is a Rec worth, or vice versa? Kind of seems like a wash. I'm just hoping the female chest with the eagle tattoo draws both crowds and this week's preview can get 20 comments and 2 Recs!
Have some bullets:
- I hope there's a celebrity or something that they need Show to work with at 'Mania. Because no offense to The Giant, but he's only a rung above the Mark Henry Hall of Lesnar-enhancers at this point. And putting him near Bryan or the main event will only give us flashbacks to four or five months ago when they thought he should be in the title hunt rather than D-Bry.
- Keep toying with our expectations in the break-up stories of The Shield and Cesaro/Swagger. We all know we're headed for the prototypical unhappy wrestling ending in both sagas, but Monday night showed that you can get some mileage - and build some heat - by keeping us guessing as to the when and the how. Avoid the fate of The Prime Time Players, y'all.
- We know Total Divas is coming, and we know if will get to air at least its entire second season. Can we book some wrestling to complement it, since we know they'll be plugging it constantly anyway. Summer Rae and Natty look to have some issues in those commercials. Maybe now would be a good time for them to feud. Hell, it would be worth it if it got us nothing more than a couple of Tyson Kidd vs Fandango clashes.
What we're afraid they will do
I like Korporate Kane, and I get a kick out of seeing him wrestle in his slacks. Bryan got the best match out of him that we've seen in years last week. Can we quit while we're ahead. The Devil's Favorite Libertarian doesn't have a lot of good matches left in him, and he has very little credibility as an in-ring obstacle to anyone at this point.
Hopefully Main Event was the last of in-ring Kane that we'll see for a while.
Ready to welcome Big Show back? Will that or anything else get you tuned in tonight?
Let us know in the comments below (we're expecting at least twenty of them, you know) and come on back to watch the show in the open thread with all your favorite Cagesiders tonight!