Since I'm an optimist at heart, even if I do enjoy mocking WWE and its inept creative staff, I'd like to offer up some ideas to plant a few roses in what would otherwise be a manure pile of a WrestleMania card.
First things first; as I mentioned in my breakdown of how rotten this event is currently, the top three matches for WrestleMania are pretty much set in stone: Batista vs. Randy Orton, Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H. I've talked about how I feel on those three matches and how horrible I think those options are for the final three on the card.
Now I'd like to give a little advice to WWE on how it can salvage this pay-per-view (PPV) from becoming one of the most infamous of all time. Basically, the idea involves stealing what WCW did so well in the 90s when they were kicking WWE's butt.
You see, WCW and WWE had two polar opposite booking styles. For years, the WCW undercard (Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrerro, Rey Mysterio, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit) would shine with talent on PPVs while the older established veterans (Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper) plodded along in main events that were sold on name value and not in-ring skills. Meanwhile, WWE was completely the opposite. Its undercard would generally suck on PPV, but nobody remembers this because the main events (with The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Undertaker) usually always delivered.
Now that WWE is facing a WrestleMania with arguably its worst main-event lineup in years, it's absolutely crucial the company stacks the undercard from top to bottom with can't-miss matches.
Since the average seems to be about eight matches per WrestleMania, that means we have five undercard bouts left to work with, and a whole roster to choose from. But who stands out amongst the crowd worthy of those spots?
Well, there are certain wrestlers we know will be there based on name recognition and their current spot on the roster. We know The Shield, Wyatts, Cena, Sheamus, Cesaro, Big E, Christian, the New Age Outlaws, and whatever team faces the New Age Outlaws. That's 15 wrestlers right there to fit into five undercard matches.
And that's not even including mainstays like Big Show, Kane, Mark Henry and Mysterio.
There are a lot of other wrestlers who either aren't getting a payday, or will go with some huge battle royal for the pre-show. But let's just stick to the actual card and the five matches that could make this whole show bearable.
1. A Shield Triple Threat Match for Dean Ambrose's U.S. title: I'm not a huge proponent of breaking up The Shield, but if you have to do it, this match right here fills in an undercard spot that could easily steal the show. And it makes good use of the U.S. title.
2. Tag Team Fatal 4-Way: New Age Outlaws vs. Real Americans vs. The Usos vs. Luke Harper/Erik Rowan: This gets eight guys on the card in one match. Getting Harper and Rowan in there let's us segue into...
3. Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena: This writes itself.
4. Big E vs. Big Show vs. Sheamus vs. Christian for the Intercontinental title: Yes, that's the second fatal four-way on the show. But there could be worse things than a fatal three-way hoss fight (with Christian for some cool spots).
5. Cody Rhodes vs. Goldust: This feud could be built in four weeks and they could open the show and set a good tone.
Look, I know this is like trying to make chicken soup out of chicken you-know-what. And I know that's still leaving a ton of wrestlers off the card, but I didn't want my doom and gloom WrestleMania post to make it seem as if WWE itself is a hopeless, lost cause.
It has a great foundation of young talent. If the undercard is booked right, it could lead to a quality wrestling show that will overwhelm on the undercard and underwhelm at the top.
At least, that's what we have to hope for, right?