Now that CM Punk has left the world of professional wrestling, what better way to remember him than by putting him through the ringer here at Slapstick Saturday, because as we know, even the "Best in the World" can have the worst luck in the world.
Even if it isn't inside the squared circle.
While Punk never had an accident inside the ring -- not even from the poop-inducing powers of Sato Tanaka -- there was an occasion when he had a super-close call while running the Chicago marathon in October of 2011, and had to do what he does best to save himself from disaster.
The Dunkin Plunge:
"Mile 18, I see the Porta-John and I think hallelujah here we are. I bust into the Porta-John, drop my shorts and I have relief. I look to my left, there's no paper. There's two empty rolls and two spools, so I bust out the cardboard and I'm wiping with the cardboard and it's not really working and then I look to my right and there's a discarded Dunkin' Donuts bag. I'm hoping, I'm praying there's gonna be napkins. I open it up, no napkins! But, there was a discarded wrapper from a blueberry muffin. So I used that and then I was off and running. When I went out the door there was a girl in front of the door doing the pee dance. She looked at me and goes 'is there paper in there?' I went 'Yes ma'am!' The fear of her catching up to me was my motivation for completing the race."
IT'S BLUEBERRY TIME!!!!!!!!
Punk probably thinks not losing himself before getting to the Porta-John was a close call, but the real close call was being able to escape that situation without being recognized, because if that girl doing the pee dance had recognized him, he would have been all over the dirt sheets for wipe-gate.
Hear him explain the awkwardness here.