If you read my scouting report, you know I wasn't expecting much. But I was expecting something better than this...
Konnor, Viktor and everyone in The Ascension's corner backstage better hope that the old adage is wrong and that you do get a second chance to make a first impression. Because if the silence of the Washington, D.C. crowd and the resounding "wha huh?" head across the internet was any indication, the launch of this NXT gimmick on the main stage makes The New Day look like an instant hit.
I'm not even sure what to point to, or where to start pointing.
- It would have been better to squash jobbers who were trying than a cowardly heel team who had already wrestled once on the night.
- They essentially won a two-on-one handicap match, seeing as how Miz never makes too much of an attempt to tag in and willingly remains on the floor for the finish. It's like the opposite of Ryback's introductory push.
- The match did more to put over Damien Mizdow than it did for the debuting team.
- Conspiracy theorists who believe there are factions backstage that want to see NXT call-ups fail just got another piece of evidence.
- Why send them out immediately after Daniel Bryan took everyone in the Verizon Center and at home on an emotional roller coaster? This was a spot for Santino or Hornswoggle or something light to pass the time. Instead what was supposed to be intense and intimidating ended up as forgettable.
- Is part of the gimmick that they love triangles? Why is the Eiffel Tower in their entrance video? Egyptian pyramids, Incan temples...okay. Gustave Eiffel's iron lattice masterwork...?
- The red forehead make-up looks less like something a post-apocalyptic motorcycle barbarian would don before heading off to pillage for gasoline and more like something teenagers would apply themselves before heading to an anime convention.
- Another thing that's not intimidating? Fidgeting with your leather shoulder bodice while you're screaming your way down the ramp.
- Did no one pay any attention to how they looked in a full-size arena? Everything that came across as cool or menacing in Full Sail Live looked much less so on Raw. Strangely enough, neither man seemed as big, or as muscular, in relation to their surroundings like they did on NXT.
- Squashes are supposed to be impressive, right? This was a clothesline, a forearm and their finisher. Not to keep harping on the Ryback comparison, but at least doing Shellshocked to big or multiple men looks spectacular.
- And that finisher. Ugh. Fall of Man has never been terribly impressive, but wow, did it look like nothing on Monday night. Mizdow did his best to sell it, too, but in the end it's a leg sweep and a European, two things that have never been associated with "oh my GAWD - how will he ever get up from that!?!?" (unless Cesaro does the latter move), and Konnor's leg sweep kind of looks like he's charging in to hit you with his butt, and...ugh. That finisher.
- It does nothing to make you want to see more of them. No feud is established. You weren't wowed by their wrestling. They don't seem interesting, or fun.
But, hey, that theme song rocks.
Am I missing anything, Cagesiders? Being unfair? Hit the comments below and let me know.