We're greeted by a cutaway shot of our announcing trio, which is different. It's steady hand Tom Phillips, with Tensai as the babyface and Byron Saxton as the heel. Continuity issues aside (Saxton was a good guy in the issues between Antonio Cesaro and William Regal just a little while back), they're settling into a decent groove with one another. They're less annoying than any of the main show groupings. Still miss Regal, though.
They kick it to new ring announcer Eden. Who, if I'm not mistaken, is Mrs. Cody Runnels.
Adrian Neville vs. Wesley Blake
- Blake gets the jobber entrance, but at least is introduced by the lovely and appropriately-voiced (yes, I'm talking to you, Eva-bot) Eden as hailing from San Antonio. He's got a cowboy hat and, according to the booth, gimmick. But we don't get to see anything about it other than said hat and the logo on his trunks. As far as a look, he's sort of a cross between Skip Sheffield and Trevor Murdock.
- We get to see a bit more personality from Neville in this one, as he adds some comedic flourish to his initial acrobatic rope running and takedowns. And it's not news, but I forgot how jacked Neville is. For some reason it really jumped out at me this week how impressive his physique, and how it differentiates him at his size.
- Wesley looks pretty polished - is he an indy tryout that I'm not recognizing? He bumps well and his strikes are crisp and believable. That's basically all he's called on to do in this one.
- The Jumpin' Geordie is in control for almost the entire match, with his final offense consisting of a rally with strikes to the midsection, a back kick and his finisher.
Adrian Neville defeats Wesley Blake in approximately four minutes via pinfall
Backstage, Devin Taylor has an interview with the Beautiful Fierce Females (BFFs). And we have a Charlotte sighting! She cuts an okay promo that alludes to her father with talk of jets and limos and knocks Bayley as a "cat lady" (which only takes my crush to new heights). It's okay, but her delivery is kind of stilted.
Contrast it to Summer Rae, who delivers a few quick lines about this being the year of the BFFs and destroying Natalya in their match later. Not her best work, but much more natural and impactful. Keep working on it, C.
Xavier Woods vs. Alexander Rusev
- I find it disappointing that X is now coming out to "Somebody Call My Momma" without any semblance of his 90s gimmick. I wasn't the biggest fan of the retro act, but it was different than the usual "have the black guy dance" bs. Sweet T is excited, though.
- The Bulgarian's look continues to evolve. He's ditched the leather apron and is just wearing black spandex shorts that go down to his mid-thigh. Not sure if I like it, but he is a huge man and this accentuates that.
- Woods starts out eluding charges from Alexander and landing a few blows, including a drop kick that takes down the big man. Rusev is showing some flair, taunting the crowd as he calls his shots by pointing at the body part he's going to use in his next move. There's an impressive sequence where he connects with a huge roundhouse kick and then stretched X's arm with his foot on his face.
- The PhD candidate mounts a small comeback that includes a Daniel Bryan-esque running knee, but The Brute shakes it off and whips him into the ropes to connect with a side kick on the ricochet. He locks in The Accolade and Woods is forced to tap.
Alexander Rusev defeats Xavier Woods in approximately three minutes via submission
Lana instructs AR to release the hold, only to have him put it back on a second later. In you DAFUG? moment of the week, Sin Cara runs out to hit a sloppy hurricanrana on Rusev for the save. They tried to de-emphasize Hunico's tattoo a little with costuming and camera angles. I guess X and Cara join Cesaro as big stage players doing double-duty at the Performance Center.
Antonio Cesaro vs. CJ Parker
- As if on cue, here's The Swiss Superman. Full-blown face pop for The Real American, complete with loud "We The People" chants. I can't hate on it; I'd do it too.
- Back story is that Parker requested this match to prove that he's for realz. They start out exchanging arm holds, with the Moonchild eventually getting a takedown. He tries for a senton, but Antonio gets his knees up and proceeds to work the back.
- CJP comes back with a clothesline, and connects with some decent looking offense including his running double knee to the corner and a top rope crossbody that gets two.
- The fun happens when Parker outs Cesaro on his shoulder for an airplane spin. He ends up dizzier than the former United States champ, who responds with his own Swing. That leads to a Neutralizer.
Antonio Cesaro defeats CJ Parker in approximately three and a half minutes via pinfall
Sami Zayn! The Likeable One is out with an aluminum crutch and a microphone to talk about his injury (which Cesaro mocks with by rubbing away fake tears). 2014 isn't off to a great start, but 2013 was the best year of his career. And even though some of his best matches were against Antonio, he wants a rematch of the blemish that was losing the Match of the Year candidate two-out-of-three falls match.
AC jumps from the ring and stalks up the ramp. He grabs the mic, stares down Zayn and says, "No".
It dawns on me that Sami has a lot of Mick Foley in his promo style.
Backstage spot with Devin talking to The Miz, of all things. He puts over NXT and threatens to do a Miz TV at Full Sail when CJ Parker starts pacing in front of the camera, mumbling about how no matter what he does the crowd boos him. Uh-oh...they're encouraging the NXT-Zone by putting them in storylines.
Miz is upset that CJ has disrespected him, to which Parker cuts an okay promo that includes lots of hippy buzz words and leads to a stiff slap of The Awesome One's face. If the plan is to get him crowd support by feuding him with Miz...that's probably a good plan.
In a "previously" segment hyping the next match, Natalya says that her New Year's resolution is to "get hungry and forget her manners". It's probably best if you don't talk again for a little while, Nat.
Summer Rae vs. Natalya
- Renee Young joins commentary, because broads, amirite? Just kidding, Renee makes everything better. And it lets Tensai deliver the line of the night when Saxton is downplaying Young's point about how the BFFs bully the other women in the locker room, and he says that Byron knows a lot about being bullied by women.
- Summer is accompanied by Sasha Banks (no Charlotte) and Natty by Bayley. Surprisingly, neither get involved in the match.
- Best bit of the match has The First Lady delivering seated drops to the Total Divas knee while it's trapped on the second rope, and Natalya counters by getting her other leg up to boot Summer headfirst to the floor.
- Fandango's dance partner has come a long way in developmental. Her offense is still designed to highlight her legs, but she works in other attacks and her kicks are much more fluid and convincing. There's no reason this match shouldn't be a part of a feud on the main shows.
- The BFF gets a near fall on a spinning heel kick about midway through, but when she tries for another to start a comeback after being suplexed and clotheslined, Mrs. Kidd grabs it and turns it into a Sharpshooter.
Natalya defeats Summer Rae in approximately three minutes via submission
They make up for the lack of promos last week, this time with Taylor welcoming Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady. Amore says some charming but meaningless $#!+ from his scooter, but Aiden English barges in to talk smack about his win over Big Cas and propose calling their sing-off a tie.
Cas says that English takes so many cheap shots, he's surprised he hasn't left with an ugly girl. I'll admit, it took me a second to get that one. Aiden starts to sing, only for Enzo to ruin it by running over his foot with the scooter.
Next, it's banner raising time!
Bo Dallas has become the longest reigning NXT champion in history as his 224 days surpass both previous titleholders Seth Rollins and Big E Langston. The champ shines with a mic in his hand, and this is no exception. He makes a meta-comment about how the fan reaction is why we're able to celebrate his run this way, then he thanks his family for coming. Family like...his third cousin, his sister's college roommate and his fourth grade history teacher.
Adrian Neville's theme cuts in, followed by the Brit himself. On behalf of everyone, he's here to tell Bo to shut up. He's still not a great talker, but he's fine in this role. With his offense, all he needs to do to stay over as a fan favorite is not embarrass himself on the stick.
Dallas brings up the fact that Neville earned his last title shot in a Beat the Clock challenge, and says it wouldn't take him four minutes and forty-five seconds to beat him, let alone the nobody that Adrian took out. That brings Triple H onto our screens via Trinatron, to set up the obligatory "if Bo can't beat Adrian in 4:45, then he'll get another title shot" match. That match would (will) take place on the live NXT special on WWE Network.
Bo Dallas (c) vs. Adrian Neville
- Well, this is suspenseful. They don't even let the champ change clothes; he's working in his slacks, dress shirt and cowboy boots outfit.
- Somebody has their eye on Neville, though. He's been given the babyface spot in Zayn's absence, and has worked ten to fifteen minutes of the last several shows, both in the ring and on the mic. He's done a heck of a job with the opportunity, too.
- He's on top early in this one, but Bo heel-ishly yanks the ring skirt out and trips Adrian into a nasty-looking fall on the apron. A little beat down on the outside almost gets him a countout win, but Neville slides in at nine.
- Dallas is a little unhinged after that, losing his shirt and having his hair fall out of its ponytail as he gets several nearfalls with suplexes, drop knees and elbows. As he's dragging The Man that Gravity Forgot around by his arm, Neville gets back on the offensive with kicks and running crossbodies.
- It's Red Arrow time again, but Bo rolls to the safety of the floor. There's only twenty seconds left on the clock at that point, though, and Neville realizes it. Dallas tries to chase his challenger, but it's too late.
Adrian Neville beats the clock by lasting 4:45 against Bo Dallas
As the once-and-still #1 contender celebrates, the champ tries to charge him from behind. Neville dodges and sets up Bo for his finisher, which he then hits. We fade out on Adrian holding the NXT title over the fallen leader of the Bo-lievers.
Weird show that was much more focused on setting up the future than knocking our socks off in the present. With the live Network launch being treated as a pay-per-view (PPV), that's not surprising. I'm not worried about the influx of main roster mid-carders...yet. But I don't watch this show for Miz and Kofi Kingston, you know what I'm sayin'?
Grade: B
What's you take, Cagesiders?