New open! It must be new, because The Shield are in it. It's my wish for those guys that they never have to appear on this show, though.
This song isn't great, but it's better than that "Invisible Invincible Tonight" one.
Sin Cara defeats Michael McGillicutty
in approximately four minutes via pinfall
• Mood lighting in full effect. And this one is gonna need it.
• They're trying to get over another new nickname for McGillicutty, as this is two weeks in a row that Matt Striker has been calling him "Big Country". Newsflash, guys: You could call him Hijo de Perfecta, John Cena, Jr or Quadruple H, if you keep jobbing him out on Superstars, it doesn't matter.
• After a quick feeling out process, Cara starts hopping around. It's only a move or two into it before he slips on a hurricanrana that requires a change in cameras from production. Mike then awkwardly catches a handspring back elbow into a side slam. Mr Intensity's in control with elbows and headlocks for a minute or so after that.
• Matt Striker is an idiot, part the first. He blathers on here about the luchador's mask being descended from the Aztecs and used to honor the dead a la Día de los Muertos. While there is a cultural connection, it's also true that the masks are designed to invoke animal and heroic spirits from across a wide swath of indigenous cultures. Legend also has it that the idea was imported to Mexico from the great state of Texas when a promoter saw an American working under a mask there. The more you know...
• Very ineffective looking kicks get Sin Cara momentum. That leads to a top rope armdrag, springboard back elbow and senton bomb for another win for a guy I thought was supposed to be getting his walking papers.
• On behalf of McGillibuddies everywhere, let me just say RRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH-TTHHHHPPPPTTTTT-AAARRR
Match Footage below via WWE.com's Official YouTube Channel:
A replay of the Chris Jericho - Fandango dance-off runs. It's only missing the entrances, but that reminds me to post this for that Notorious Cagesider Eddie Mac:
Then we get a replay of The Shield's disqualification loss to John Cena. The take it from after Kane's elimination and show the great segment where Daniel Bryan is f'ing up everyone, through to then they ending that outraged half of the internet.
Cody Rhodes defeats Alex Riley
in approximately eight minutes via pinfall
• Not sure what the logic behind Cody as Mr. Superstars is, but for the moment, I'm not complaining. I get to watch a guy I really enjoy, and he's getting to look strong in matches of decent length. Tony Dawson puts over his finishing "near the top" of WWE.com's underrated superstar poll. Whatever happened with that, officially?
• Immediate trickery from the underdog as A-Ry goes for pins out of double-leg takedown with a bridge and a roll-up. Cody gets him down off of a shoulder block and then keeps him down with headlocks while he works over the left arm.
• Matt Striker is a tool, part deux. He manages to name check Brainiac, the Leader and Victor von Doom and I still want to punch him in the neck. My comic book nerd fu is even stronger than my pro wrestling nerd fu, and if you bring up arch-enemies of Superman, the Hulk and the Fantastic Four while calling a wrestling match and I still want to do you bodily harm? You must be a giant tool.
• Riley comes back with a drop kick, then lariats Rhodes over the top. He follows his opponent to the floor and uses the steps to launch a clubbing blow to the back of the head before rolling Cody back in to the legal area. Alex sets up for a vertical suplex back to the floor, but breaks at the referees direction and the dashing one kicks out his leg so that the babyface's head hits the edge during his fall.
• The mustachioed man employs mat work to inflict pain. He continues to work the left side, and at one point transitions a half-nelson submission attempt into a two count. Miz's former henchman pushes Rhodes off during a running bulldog, and then hits a spinebuster mid-rope run. His nifty fireman's carry cutter finisher follows, except it doesn't finish. Cody kicks out at two.
• Damien Sandow's BFF goes for Cross Rhodes, but Riley flips out and lands on his feet. He whips Cody to the ropes and the heel ducks out. Alex pulls him back in and goes for a drop that Dusty's boy rolls out of. He pops off the ropes for a disaster kick and the victory.
Match Footage below via WWE.com's Official YouTube Channel:
(For some reason, they haven't released footage of the stronger match...As soon as it goes up free and legal like, we'll add it here)
Cody's match wasn't as strong as his effort last week, but it was good enough to earn this show a passing grade. But barely - the HuluPlus streaming show gets a D from me this week.
Anybody have a comment? Or are you just glad that we watch, so you don't have to (WWSYDHT)?