This is Dannie Ray, loyal reader of cageside seats and Chairman of RPW.
RPW, short for Revival Pro Wrestling, is an Online Wrestling Simulation Game where most of the characters are played by fellow Cagesiders.
Long story shot, we've introduced an Internet Championship that will use polls to determine things as Internet Title contenders or Stipulations. It's pretty much like #RAWActive but without rigging the polls.
Disclaimer: We do not plug twitter in every page and we don't have an RPW App.
I'm asking you guys to help us decide who deserves to be in our first RPW Internet Title Match and here are the characters making their case.
[Landon Jackson is seen under the rain, the shot is centered upon his angry as he stares to the camera.]
JACKSON: I have made my intentions clear, Landon Jackson wants the No Limits Title and Landon Jackson will get the No Limits Title.
Season's Beatings was merely a setback, DDL's victory over me nothing but a fluke. I see this Internet Title opportunity as a way for RPW management to lure me away from the No Limits Division, because they know the damage I can do on that environment, because they know I'm gonna keep putting their competitors to the hospital just like I did to Malcolm Valenzuela.
So vote me into this match, or don't. It doesn't matter...either way Landon Jackson will be a champion.
[The rain keeps running through Landon's face as the camera cuts into the next promo.]
[Ravishing Ronnie Reynolds is showing looking at a mirror while combing his hair]
REYNOLDS: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all?
[The camera turns to reveal his staff in the room, Image Analyst Amy Evans, Super Agent Jackson Gerritt and P.I. Shirley Watson are among them.]
AMY EVANS: Come on Ronnie, you don't need a mirror to tell you that you are the greatest wrestler in the world.
SHIRLEY WATSON: I don't know Amy, that Taiga guy is pretty foxy.
JACKSON GERRITT: What about me?
SHIRLEY WATSON: I guess you are a nice guy.
JACKSON GERRITT: Hey! I can be sexy too!
[Reynolds doesn't seem happy about the conversation drifting away from himself]
REYNOLDS: Come on guys, lets get serious...we need to record an ad for my Internet Championship Campaign, Gerritt you are my chief of staff...where is my camera man?
[You can hear a voice that's clearly coming from the guy who's taping this segment]
CAMERA MAN: It's rolling.
REYNOLDS: Ok Mr. Rollins stay put, we'll need your services later.
CAMERA MAN: I'm not Mr. Rollins, It's rolling.
REYNOLDS: Roleen? That's a weird first name for a guy. Roleen what?
CAMERA MAN: The CAMERA!!!!
REYNOLDS: Roleen deCamera? That sounds artsy.
AMY EVANS: And foreign.
SHIRLEY WATSON: And Wild and Exciting.
[The rest of the staff turns around to give a look to a Googly Eyed Shirley Watson.]
CAMERA MAN: My name is mark and I'm already taping your ad, it is due in 5 minutes...didn't you get my message...
REYNOLDS: Wait what? My Schedule girl never told me about his...
[The Ravishing one doesn't seem pleased at all as he turns to face her secretary]
REYNOLDS: Oops? that's the best you can do? What about....YOU ARE FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!
JACKSON GERRITT: I don't think that's the best look for your campaign...
REYNOLDS: Holy Shit, the camera is rolling....turn that off! Erase this now..
[Reynolds rushes over the camera and seems to be struggling with the camera man, all we can see is the palm of his hand as we hear some final words]
AMY EVANS: We are screwed.
DANGER: What do you want me to say folks?
[Sirius Danger is all smile, to the point that he's almost busting out in laughter.]
DANGER: We are finally doing it, this is a huge victory for the cause. I want to thank all of you guys for your effort, without your strong work we would've never been able to achieve this monumental feat that will forever change RPW history.
I'm not talking about Jack Dobbs being gone, that's not here nor there....the real important thing that just happened was the announcement of the Internet Title.
This might be a little step, but it's an important one in our fight against the oppressive RPW Management. The Revolution of chaos has made strides as we...the people, we have finally taken some of the power for ourselves.
[Danger can hardly contain his excitement and he stands up paces around the small room he's in, he seems to look track of the camera and it now looks like he's talking to himself. ]
DANGER: They know that they can't keep ignoring us, they gave us this...but we are going to take it all. Chaos will Reign, the era of the suits is about to fall, the era of the people is at hand.
[Sirius Danger suddenly stops and drops the straps of his black singlet.]
DANGER: The best part of all of this is that I don't even have to campaign for this title shot. I'm a natural leader, a leader of men, and I will lead this revolution into greatness, I will die inside of that ring if that's what it takes to further the cause.
[The Intensity on Danger is slowly boiling, and it looks like it's about to reach it's peak when he suddenly shifts into a zen-like state]
DANGER: I already represent the people, but this Internet Championship will finally make it official.
[Sirius Danger is back to smiles]
DANGER: You can be a champion too, join the cause.
BRANDENBURG: Sorry if I don't sound more excited about the prospect of another championship, It's hard to get over the fact that you were stripped of a prize that you worked so hard for.
There is one big problem for me with this whole Internet Championship deal, and that's that I'm on the ballot and Demian Wolfe isn't.
Ever since the first ever RPW show, me and Demian have been at odds, we faced each other on a tag match during the first ever RPW match and we are still on RPW's longest lasting and most heated rivalry.
I've come to terms with the fact that until I solve the Wolfe problem, I'm just not going to be able to focus on being the top wrestler in the world. I'm really sad to say that this Internet title would only be a distraction for now.
Sorry to disappoint, but I don't really want you guys to vote for me...
But I do have a message for all of my fans, I'm officially endorsing Alex Monroe...may he kick Sirius Danger's head in.
[The camera fades in to see Anne Brandeis wearing a charcoal gray suit, white button up shirt, red tie, and matching slacks. A somewhat bemused expression on her face as she is sitting in a chair a small gray and white American shorthair cat. Her soft spoken voice lacking its usual menace as it‘s replaced with a quiet deadpan.]
BRANDEIS: I have from our esteemed commissioner Rufus Biggs that a shot at a new title will be awarded based not on win loss records, or experience but on which wrestler gets the most votes on the internet. So I have made a video with a cat. Say hello "Nickels."
[Anne pauses for a moment flashing a subtle grin of the absurdity of the moment as she reaches down rubbing the cat below the neck. The feline lazily stretching it‘s paws forward.]
[Anne quietly remains composed as she quietly rubs the cat's ears a bit.]
BRANDEIS: I am asking for you the viewers to vote for me not because I defeated Taiga in under a minute. Not because I am currently undefeated in singles competition, and not because I am the most dangerous person in wrestling. No. I am asking you to vote for me because I have posted a video with a cat on the internet and I intend to show Rufus Biggs how incredibly stupid this idea is.
[Anne raises hand as Nickles the cat sits up a bit lazily bats its paws in the air as if trying to catch her.]
BRANDEIS: I am not saying that the fans voices shouldn't be heard nor am I saying the internet isn't a useful tool. What I am saying is that it is not a meritocracy. All it takes is a particularly clever, organized group of fans working together for "LOLZ" [she motions with her fingers making quote marks] and the next thing you know we have a pay-per-view co-headlined by a "Dubstep Harlem Shake My Little Pony on a pole" match.
And someone gets a title shot by virtue of making a video with a cat in it.
[Anne pauses for a moment quietly amused by as the cat rolls over in her lap, giving her the kitty a tummy rub. The gray haired cat closing its green eyes as it makes an audible "purr" sound.]
BRANDEIS: I do not believe in going half way in matches. I do not believe in taking any opponent lightly. I believe that any belt should be defended like it's the main event. But don't vote for me. Vote for Mr. Nickels.
[Anne continues petting the now sleepy eyed feline as she quietly pats the cat on the head.]
BRANDEIS: Now some people are asking why Ruffus Biggs is worried about a new belt with a tawdry gimmick when the Heavyweight title has changed hands thanks to a doctor's note a middle school nurse would see through. Some people would say lobbying for a title shot on youtube is undignified.
These people should also vote for the lady with the cat.
[The camera pans down as the sleepy cat stretches its paws into the air as we fade to black.]
[The scene opens to Alex Monroe pacing back and forth in front of a plain white background. He seems completely irritated, and who wouldn't after the last month or so that he's been having. We can see his hair is not styled in a faux hawk as usual, and his attire, at least as much as we can see, is an Attack! Attack! T-shirt. He stops pacing as soon as he notices the camera and begins to speak.]
MONROE: From day one in this company, I've been out to prove that I'm the hardest working professional wrestler in the world. I've stepped in the ring with some of the bonafide greats in this industry. I've had the most killer matches with guys like Leonard Knox, Hakai Dragon and John Brandenburg. Everything was going great. That is... until Sirius Danger showed up in my life.
Now, I'll be the first to admit the idea of teaming up with Enigma wasn't exactly on my "to-do" list here in RPW. But when GM Charles Strickland first asked me to take him under my wing, I saw it as an opportunity to prove something else to the RPW faithful. I've already shown I can put on stellar matches, now I wanted to prove that I could be a great leader, and bring Enigma, who was already a great competitor, to the next level. I wanted to show I could be that guy that leads the locker room if need be. And things were going well to start off, all things considered. Until Sirius Danger showed up in my life.
At the PPV, I thought I was finally going to end this thing with Sirius Danger and break his neck and send him packing out of my business for good. But, and I've got to hand it to you Sirius, you threw me a curve ball. You had an extremely elaborate set up that worked perfectly, and I'll admit I walked right in to a lot of things. Kirk Cobain was a man I respected in RPW. Sure, we had vastly different styles, but he was a guy who was friendly to me from the get-go backstage and somebody who I almost the considered a friend... almost.
At Season's Beatings, he gave me the ol' bait and switch and I ended up on the wrong side of a beating at the hands of Kirk, Sirius and Enigma. At the end of it all, I ended up a broken and beaten man, and I was extremely discouraged. Until I got an e-mail from Rufus Biggs.
The e-mail was announcing the creation of the Internet Championship, and not only am I on the list of contenders, but so is the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my polar opposite, and arch nemesis, Sirius Danger.
So I beg of the RPW faithful. Vote me in to that match. Not just me, but Sirius Danger as well. Vote both of us in, so I can get my hands around his neck. Vote us in so I can have my redemption, and show not just Sirius Danger, not just Enigma, not just Kirk Cobain, but the ENTIRE WORLD that to win a championship here in RPW, you can't rely on silly overcomplicated schemes and alliances, but rather your own skill, heart, and determination. And for God's sake, vote both of us in so I can put Sirius Danger in the hospital. And not with some silly toy I found under the ring. But with my bare... hands...
The choice is yours, interwebs.
[Monroe follows up with a nod as we fade to black.]
VALENZUELA: Landon Jackson...don't think I've have forgotten about you...
You put me into the hospital with a series of piledrivers, the same move that has been banned in my country of Mexico. But that's not the first time you've messed with my blood. I remember how not so long ago you put my good amigo Espirito do Animal to the hospital with a shattered ankle.
[The mexican wrestler has a look of pure intensity as his hatred for Jackson leaks through his pores.]
VALENZUELA: I've been here since the beginning, desde el comienzo. And I'm going to prove to everyone that I belong here, and that I'm not someone that you just can overlook.
I'm asking you to vote for me, so I can have the opportunities that this front office has denied me. But also I want you to vote for Landon Jackson, so I can get my revenge.
dos birds, un stone.
[There's a loud sound of static, and the video is completely disturbed. The video then snaps to black, and a couple of seconds later, the video feed glitches into the image of a dark room, lit by a light blue haze. Enigma is in front of the camera, with his face almost covered by the hood of his sweatshirt. He slowly looks up to face the camera. The usual half face paint is still there, with the glowing outline of a dragon. He slowly raises his fist to the camera. And he lifts his fingers to count. One. Two. Three.]
ENIGMA : Three seconds between me and glory. Its always eluded me, but not this time. The people know that I deserve this shot. I'm going to walk into the triple threat match. And put both of them down. And then its one, two, three. And I'm going to get what I've always rightfully deserved. On the first anniversary of Revival Pro Wrestling, I am going to walk out with championship gold around my waist. Because this Phenomenon is the Revival of Pro Wrestling.
[He lifts his hand to point to himself, and he mouths "Its my time" just as the video glitches out]