Funny story. I often don't watch the last few minutes of Superstars on HuluPlus. It is invariably some form of a replay of the closing segment from the previous Raw.
So last night, I punch up the show feed on my laptop, and for whatever reason, this week it starts to play from where I left off last week. After a second of wondering, "they're not starting the show with Ryback's promo from two weeks ago, are they?" (Because, while it would be different, that is totally something they would do.)
But I figure it out and click around to what I think is the start of the episode. I get out my preferred recap note-taking tools. And I watch five minutes of Tons of Funk versus Primo and Epico, exasperated that they are airing a rematch of a contest from last week, but not thinking too much of it. (Because that is totally something they would do.)
It's not until I start to think, "When did they film this? Wouldn't Rosa have been on a plane back to the States by now?" do I realize that I have been watching and recapping an episode that I have already watched and recapped.
Superstars, ladies and gentlemen. WWSYDHT.
Jimmy Uso defeats Michael McGillicutty
in approximately nine minutes via pinfall
• Mr Intensity! MM comes out spitting and snarling and yelling at the fans about how he's the future. I love this guy. But, coming from a guy typing this while wearing a Christian shirt (currently marked down to just $16.99!), that might not bode well for your career, Mike.
• There's a lot of disjointed back and forth to start. Nothing particularly stands out and neither guy gets the upper hand until McGillicutty rolls out after some axehandle chops from Jimmy and is floored by the shock of seeing Jey on the outside. See - he can do comedy, too! He pleads with the referee to throw his opponent's doppelgänger out as we head to commercial.
• During the break, Matt Striker tells us that Curt Hennig's kid blindsided Rikishi's kid while he had the ref distracted. Thanks, Strike. Without the app, how am I supposed to know?!?! He's got Uso in a side headlock, but Jimmy quickly gets control and the theme of the match seems to be that nobody can really take it over. After an impressive arm drag takedown into the ropes by McGillicutty, the tag-teamer sells a leg injury. For a minute or so, the rudo works the leg and gets to do villainous things like put his knee on his opponent's neck and gouge the mouth and eyes during a stretch. And he also executes a beautiful standing drop kick, which isn't evil per se, but is so well done as to be worth noting.
• MM has been tweeting things (we McGillibuddies all follow him @WWEMcGillicutty) with #Boss, a nickname he's trying to get over. Tony Dawson tries to help here by talking it up, tying it into his locker room reputation as a ring general who even veterans come to for practice and advice. It makes me sad how hard he tries, only to get jobbed out on the internet. Dawson also tells us that the Usos ring gear is silver and black because they love the Oakland Raiders. Not sure how those things are connected, but I didn't think it merited its own bullet point. Do you want to recap this thing? I didn't think so.
• Jimmy hits a nifty looking sitout full nelson atomic drop and starts a run that ends with a Samoan drop and the Oo-Zos chant. I don't detect a British accent, so I'm thinking it was piped in. He heads up top, but McGillicutty catches him with punches. Back on the mat, Mike dodges a kick, but Uso slips under an uppercut and nails a superkick. He does get up for a superfly splash of impressive distance - seriously, I think he gets three-quarters of the way across the ring - and the three count.
• I know heels have to lose on this show. But...damnit.
We get a video package of HHH and Paul Heyman's interaction from Monday, and they pick up the six-man tag from about the halfway point. I don't usually watch the replays, but I don't think I'll ever not watch that match when the opportunity presents itself.
Kaitlyn and Layla defeat Aksana & Tamina Snuka
in approximately four and a half minutes, via pinfall when Kaitlyn pins Tamina
• Whooo boy. This means that the London crowd got two multi-Diva matches. Poor bastards. They don't even seem very into homegirl Layla.
• The champ and her partner are laughing at Aksana during her entrance. It's deserved - the former fitness model dances for a bit when she starts off against Kaitlyn, but quickly eats a lariat and a suplex. They trade arm locks and then Kaitlyn holds Aksana up for Layla to spank during a tag. SMH
• Tamina gets tagged in and Layla hits a crossbody for a zero count. Aksana is tagged in a couple of times, but they're smart enough to have her tag right back out and let Snuka work. Jimmy's daughter has improved quite a bit since her call-up, and I could see her having a role in the mythical Sara Del Rey-trained, well-booked women's division of the future. She flapjacks Ms El and suplexes her before Aksana allows the former Divas champ to tag the current one.
• Kaitlyn uses something that looks like a GTS, but knees Tamina in the gut rather than the head. She then hits a sloppy-looking spear on Aksana when she tries to interfere and turns around and delivers a sloppier-looking one to Snuka for the win.
• This was a hot mess.
The best thing about this episode? The SmackDown commercial makes it official that this is making the air tonight:
A quick Raw Rebound of Mick Foley/Ryback/John Cena/The Shield takes us out.
This was a D+ episode of Superstars. McGillicutty appeared but loses and remains directionless. And even the glory of the Hell No Brothers versus The Shield can't redeem that Divas tag.
Well, cSs? Use the comment thread below to talk about this show, the state of the undercard, or just post gifs of Seth Rollins and the Undertaker.