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It was mid-morning when I arrived at Denver International. Nervous, but excited as I collected my bags and set out to find AJ, who had arrived in Denver late last night.
Despite her size, she certainly stands out. I quickly spotted her In her standard issue hoodie, jeans, glasses and Chucks. That, and she was also holding a large sign that said - “Joseph Kerr”.
I approached her. “Joe Kerr, huh? Cute. So does that make you Harley Quinn?”
“Maybe…” she teased, “Puddin’.”
She then wrapped her arms around me. It was exhilarating to say the least. Her hair had this scent, fruity possibly pineapple, but not overpowering.
Now that I finally held her in my arms I could feel how toned and compact she was. Small but solid.
I loaded my stuff into the rental car and noticed A.J. in the driver’s seat.
“You sure you don’t want me to drive? I can see all the way over the steering wheel.”
“Ha. A short joke. You will pay for that. But I am the boss, I drive when I want to. And right now, I want to.” Her mock authority was very cute.
“Fair enough. But keep your purse away from me. I don’t play that.”
“Even a purse that looks like an old Nintendo controller?”
“Nope. Can't do it. Line is drawn.”
“Fine. I will get you though. Love a challenge.”
“Okay. How bout this challenge? Fuck. Marry. Kill. Macho Man, Hogan, Roddy Piper.”
Of course this is merely a set up to the real FMK that I have scientifically designed to use as the ultimate girlfriend test.
She thought for a few seconds. “This is not fair. I know Roddy Piper. He is super cool. So marry him. F- Macho Man. With that name he has to do something right. And kill Hogan. He’s just so..so.. orange. Yuck. Now it’s your turn.” She slyly smiled
“Okay, hit me.”
“FMK- Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon, Sapphire.”
“Ohhhh you are evil.”
“Whew. Okay. F- Sherri. Macho left Liz for her, so to use your logic--she must do something right. Kill- Luna because that’s just too weird. And marry- Sapphire.”
“Really? Why marry Sapphire?”
“I am betting she is a good cook.”
“You ass.” She tapped me in the arm.
Test time. I hope she nails it.
“Alright you get another one because the one you gave was not cool. FMK- Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker.”
“Kill Clark Kent. He is boring and I don’t like Superman. Overgrown Boy Scout. F Bruce Wayne. He is dark and interesting but clearly too unstable to marry. Marry Peter Parker. He has the right balance of the two. And he is a huge nerd.”
Perfect. She crushed it.
“Now let me ask you a question. Do ask every girl that FMK or just the ones you really like?” she turned to me .
“Whatever do you mean?” I played dumb.
“Oh come on. Clark Kent, the buff guy. Bruce Wayne, the rich guy. Peter Parker, the poor nerd. That was as transparent as Sue Richards in the shower.”
“I um, uh.” I began to stammer. Busted.
“But I love it. It’s genius. It’s just that I am a super, evil genius. So you’re Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me.”
“Bravo. You got me. By the way, you are the first to pass it.”
“Awww. Lucky me, a big dork is in love with me.”
“I could say the same thing.”
We smiled at each other as we pulled into the World Arena parking lot.