One of the great things about being old, aside from the fact that people feel bad for you and want to carry your groceries, is that you can throw your arm around a young pup and wax nostalgic about how great things were "back in the day."
My weapon of mass nostalgia is locked and loaded for Monday Night RAW (and my kid trembles with anticipation).
The program has been aptly dubbed "Old School" (details here), which is the same goofy phrase The Undertaker would shout when he was the "American Badass," walking the top rope (with convenient help from his foe) before jumping off and working the arm.
I hope "The Deadman" indeed returns.
Outside of his expected appearance, doing a throwback show this close to WrestleMania would be strangely out of place. We have just a handful of live programs left before the "granddaddy of them all," and we shouldn't be wasting them just so Honky Tonk Man can come back and get powerbombed by The Shield.
Give me 'Taker.
Hopefully we can get his return out of the way early, so I can just sit back and relax and enjoy the rest of the show, which will undoubtedly be cobbled together with sentimental oldies and classic props. That of course, begs the question, how old is old school?
Is 20 years considered "old?"
I suppose you can't go farther than that because there was no RAW in the 1980s, which I think fits the "old" bill a little better. I've certainly white-washed a lot of those memories because I can't ever recall marking out for a Ken Patera rest hold, but I did appreciate the slower pace back then.
Watching wrestling was a lot like working out.
When I was hitting the gym at Temple University in the early nineties, pumping iron was a serious time commitment. You'd load up the rack, bang out six-to-eight reps, go out for lunch and then come back for your next set. Can't let that lactic acid build up!
Plus, we needed time to adjust our bandannas and Zubaz, dude.
Anyway, that's the price you pay for evolution. I don't mind. Hell, without it, we would have never seen that epic match between John Cena and CM Punk from last Monday night. Their main event brouhaha was bonkers and the only thing old school about that was the sit-down piledriver, which was worth every penny of the fine CM Punk didn't get.
Amazing how a routine move of yesteryear can be so compelling when it's shelved for being too dangerous.
I wish more high-impact moves like that were used with less frequency. Brock Lesnar had the right idea when he tried to pull off a shooting star press at WrestleMania 19, a finisher he'd executed many times while getting his sea legs in Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW).
Unfortunately, he botched it and nearly killed himself, but you get the idea.
Maybe on Monday we can be privileged enough to see some other big finishers from the past, like the "Million Dollar Dream," the "Bionic Elbow" or even the "Shake, Rattle and Roll." Considering we might get the return of The Undertaker, I'd settle for the "Tombstone Piledriver."
It might not be that old, but it's still "old school" enough for me.