Michael N. Todaro
With Elimination Chamber in the books, the WrestleMania 29 programs should already be building towards the April 7 pay-per-view. So why is the main card line up still so much of a mystery?
We've all been there.
Following someone else's directions (or perhaps those from Google Maps) when you make that uncertain turn down a street that has no signs and no streetlights, to which you shoot a look at your front-seat passenger and wonder aloud, "Are we on the right road?"
That's kind of how I feel going into WrestleMania 29.
For awhile there, I was confident we were on the straight and narrow. After all, we took this trip last year. The Rock wins the WWE title from CM Punk and faces John Cena at the "granddaddy of them all." They teased it at Royal Rumble and confirmed it at Elimination Chamber.
But then someone in creative threw a flag and had the receivers bring it back to mid-field on Monday Night RAW. You know, I get the feeling someone is going to wish they didn't burn those two timeouts once the clock starts winding down.
The game ain't over, but we're definitely in the fourth quarter.
We're about six weeks out from doing the deal in "Dirty Jersey" -- with no more go-home pay-per-views -- and CM Punk is not out of the title picture. Are we looking at a possible triple-threat match in the main event? I'm not sure that's the best way to book the big one, but hey, maybe they need someone who can actually wrestle to anchor an event called WRESTLE-mania.
Wait, I see a sign up ahead. BROCK LESNAR VS. TRIPLE H. TAKE EXIT 500 FEET.
Oh cool, the exit is closed due to construction. Maybe I'll stop at the local funeral parlor and ask The Undertaker for directions. Hey look at that, it's only open one day per year. At least I know one thing, Alberto del Rio is fighting Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Unless a big, orange cone named Dolph Ziggler cashes in his briefcase and reroutes us before then.
Face it, Cagesiders, we're lost. But like any man unwilling to admit defeat, particularly on the road, I say fuck it, keep going. Sooner or later we'll pop out on a major thoroughfare. But does driving in the dark make us miss out on the journey?
And does that ultimately affect the destination?
I guess part of me is trying to determine how much notice a show like WrestleMania needs to be successful. I don't think it's outrageous to suggest that most fans are buying it regardless of booking -- assuming all the usual suspects are in the line-up.
CM Punk remains a dingleberry on the ass of the Cena/Rock redux, but perhaps that's to keep irritating the fans until they figure out if The Undertaker is fit to face him in Newark.
Truth be told, I don't care if "The Deadman" shows up on the final RAW before the pay-per-view, just as long as I know he's going to be there. Having said that, John Cena vs. The Rock in the main event versus a triple threat match that includes Punk, doesn't weigh heavily on my decision to buy, either.
Nor do I care who Brock Lesnar is fighting.
For me, it's about the event. The spectacle of it all. I know that at least one time out of the year, every wrestler scheduled to perform is going to do so with unbridled passion. It helps if the titles that are (or aren't) changing hands have some reason to do so, but at the end of the day, all the people I want to see on April 7 will be there in some capacity or another.
Even if they aren't, I'll probably buy it anyway because, in the immortal words of Mark Henry, "THAT'S WHAT I DO!"
How about you?