Somewhere deep in the confines of his Minnesotan fortress, former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar has felt a disturbance in the force.
Either that, or he saw my sensationalized headline on Twitter.
No matter. WWE rising star Big E. Langston -- who is enjoying a recent babyface push on weekly television, says he has a lot of respect for Lesnar, but ultimately, could take him if and when they ever found themselves on opposing sides of the squared circle.
And since the surgically-repaired "Brockness Monster" left UFC and returned to WWE back in early 2012, this is a bout that could actually come to fruition. Assuming the former powerlifter is a big enough "name." If not, there's always that Goldberg match Big E. is clamoring for.
Yep, turns out the former WCW headliner and host of Garage Mahal is Langston's ultimate "dream opponent," according to comments he made in the WWE Inbox. Naturally, that kind of fantasy match-up would be impossible to book in this day and age.
Or would it?
While Goldy is being coy about a possible WWE return at WrestleMania 30, the discussions have already taken place. And if we learned anything over the past year, it's that the world's top wrestling organization can dust off some (but not all) of those old-timers and put them back into the rotation.
And I can't be the only
mark wrestling fan who would shit their pants if Big E. was in the ring having a tete-a-tete with Lesnar, only to hear Goldberg's music hit and have all three of those monsters hossing up the ring. Then Teddy Long would come down the ramp and shit would get really real.
Hold on a minute playa, we're gonna make this a triple-threat match!
I know, I know, it's not happening. But that's because of the whole supply-and-demand thing. WWE isn't going to supply the fans with something they aren't demanding, so it's up to hack reporters like me to take comments out of context and start a feud which otherwise would never have existed.
BIG E. LANGSTON HAS JUST CALLED OUT BROCK LESNAR!
Well, close enough. The problem with Big E. is that he's just too damn likable to be taken seriously as a hoss. His personality does not match his physique the way Mark Henry's does. That guy is scary when he really wants to be. But even when he's hot under the collar, Langston still has that "Aw, shucks" quality about him.
Except when he delivers the "Big Ending."
Even my wife, who hates every hoss who ever competed, recently admitted how the former NXT champ was starting to grow on her, following his run-in to save CM Punk. So if he becomes Punk's friend, he must by default become Paul Heyman's enemy (especially after this). And any enemy of Paul Heyman is an enemy of Brock Lesnar.
WWE math, y'all.
I'm sure Brock will come back and do some big song and dance to get himself mixed up with The Undertaker while Goldberg stays retired and plays with his ratchet set in his 18-car garage. Still, I would love to see if Langston is right in his prediction about "taking" Lesnar, even if it's something as simple as a run-in or impromptu collision.
Think Warrior/Hogan at the 1990 Royal Rumble.