The Cena Rehash: A Call To Inaction

J. Meric

Some people say its because he can't wrestle.

Sure, he has the worst drop kick in the WWE (including Jerry Lawler's) and his STF makes me cringe, but the guy can wrestle.

Some say its because he doesn't sell for his opponents, a valid point but one that seems to be a WWE-preferred style for its babyfaces.

I don't like it, but I've grown to accept it and it makes me really appreciate the few times Cena does sell well.

Others are quick to point out that his promos just pander to the crowd.

Others say its because he refuses to turn heel. Turning heel is a quick fix for the problem, but it's not why this WWE fanboy can't stand Super-Cena anymore.

The real reason I'm done with John Cena is simple: He's the most boring, one-dimensional character in the WWE. Those who want to see him turn heel just want to see Cena do something different from before, and not being the kayfabe good guy would do that, but for how long? How long until Cena's heel promos are as boring and dull as his face promos? How long until we just see the same stories play out the exact same way over and over again.

Last night's Sandow tragedy reminded me so much of this match with The Miz and Alex Riley. John Cena has to essentially fight a handicap match as it's no disqualification and The Miz and Riley know this. The full match is about 25 minutes and revolves mostly around John Cena never quitting despite taking all sorts of abuse and punishment. Because Cena always overcomes the odds, the numbers game be damned.

Flash forward to October 28, 2013, and Cena has added some more World Titles to his name. He recovers from a torn triceps in just two and a half months and comes back to wrestle for the World Heavyweight Championship. Alberto Del Rio, the previous holder of 133 days, put up a great effort against him at Hell in a Cell. He worked the arm the whole match knowing about Cena's injury and also coincidentally using an armbar as his finisher. It's not enough and Cena is able to stand victorious as the new champion. He comes out at Raw the next day and delivers the same post-championship victory speech he always delivers. He makes a little joke to Stu, he yells that the champ is here, nothing can keep this guy down.

Then comes the straw that broke the camel's back for me. We get "treated" to a Damien Sandow Money in the Bankcash in to open up Raw where Sandow looks like the weakest wrestler in this business-ah. Shave the beard and give him some red hair dye and you'd be looking at Heath Slater 2.0. Cena's arm shouldn't even be functioning, but he is still able to beat this jabroni with only one good arm despite the lengthy pre-match attack.

So what could possibly be next for Cena now? He's holding the World Heavyweight Championship, but is there anyone that could be an even somewhat believable threat to beat him? He beat Del Rio with one weakened arm and always comes ahead when facing Del Rio. He's just brushed off Sandow, the number two SmackDown heel. Is he going to start defending his title by facing tag teams in a handicapped match? Because that's about all that's left to face. The only people that have been able to beat the unbeatable John Cena are CM Punk, The Rock, and Daniel Bryan (followed by Cena taking 2.5 months off), and none of them are going to be fighting for that WHC anytime soon.

What we can likely expect to see is the same Cena we've seen for the past decade. A challenger will come around and be trounced within a PPV cycle, the champ will still be here, and no one will look any better for it. Cena will rise above the haters, he'll rise above a divorce, he'll rise above muscles tearing, he will rise above everything and be the exact same person he's always been. There is no single character who is as consistently predictable as Cena. Even someone like Great Khali can surprise you by dressing up as giant Sherlock Holmes out of nowhere or Indian Elvis. Its terrible television, but its at least something different. Look beyond the scope of the WWE even, there is no show on television with a major character that is so dull and predictable and has not gone a single character change since The Marine seven years ago.

So I no longer care about Cena. I won't cheer him, but I won't boo him either. He can continue to overcome the odds and prove the doubters/haters wrong. He can continue making kids everywhere love him. I just don't care anymore because I'm not going to waste anymore time on a character that is so dull and 1 dimensional. There's enough videos of cats doing something cute on YouTube that I can occupy myself for Cena's 15 minutes of screen time.

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.

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