Two weeks in a row now, we've seen Dolph Ziggler hit John Cena with everything but the kitchen sink in the ring, only for Cena to heroically kick out of the pin attempt, in true Superman fashion.
Zig Zag? Not going to cut it. Multiple Super Kicks? Pshh, no chance. A DDT off the top freaking rope? Nah, it's going to take more than that. A drop kick to the face? Momentary discomfort at best.
So what is there left for Dolph Ziggler to try? Well, I've got a few finishing moves in mind for his next run in with SuperCena:
- and... Dodge
Maybe, if you can just use your speed and athleticism to evade Cena, he will eventually tire out and collapse from exhaustion! That would lead to an easy pinfall!
Likely Result: Super Cena, being powered by Earth's yellow sun, will never run out of energy. You'd have to keep right on evading for a few billion years, until the sun explodes. That is approximately the same amount of time Cena will spend as the "face of the WWE" anyway... so that is out. Time to get serious.
6. Hit him with a sledge hammer!
When all else fails, Triple H has managed to make a career out of turning to the sledge hammer. And if my #WWELogic serves me well, there is always one conveniently located beneath the ring. (WHY they keep a sledge hammer there is a whole 'nother question... just roll with it!)
Likely Result: Ask Brock Lesnar what happens when you try to keep Cena down with weapons. No matter how fractured his skull becomes, he'll still kick up from the pin attempt, deliver an AA, then cut a promo while he poses for pictures with kids and troops. We need to get more dangerous....
7. Rip his spine out Sub Zero style!
While you may not be able to keep Cena down on the mat long enough to pin him, this move can be done in a mere fraction of the time! Once you've staggered the WWE's man of steel, simply grab his throat and pull HARD. Let's see him fight back without a spine!
Likely Result: Cena's headless, spineless mass of muscles instinctively kicks out anyway. No one notices a difference in the mass of muscles despite being without the head, and the mass of muscles keeps right on no-selling and burying its way to the top. Time to pull out all of the stops...
8. SPIRIT BOMB!
The ultimate technique. Borrowing the spirit energy of all of the Cena hating smarks on Earth would give you enough energy to power the planet until the end of time. That should be more than enough to destroy Cena once and for all... right?
Likely Result: Wrong. Super Cena no sells the hit and commences the beat down in the crater the spirit bomb has left behind. Is there no stopping this man? We're down to our last chance....
9. Divide by Zero
You've done it now. You've destroyed the very fabric of space/time trying to get John Cena to just eat one measly pinfall.... But you have to have succeeded...right?