Photo of Kane via Wikimedia Commons
Want to lose weight and get in shape? Join a gym instead of pissing off Kane.
Welcome to another edition of "Slapstick Saturdays," Cagesiders, where your old pal Hollywood Holland pokes fun at every botch, blooper and bomb the world of professional wrestling has ever given us.
This time we're going full slapstick.
I know what you're thinking, "Never go full slapstick," but I assure you, in a few rare cases, it actually does work. Like when World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) started populating its commercials with "Attitude Era" superstars. After all, why bother with SAG politics when you have an entire locker room of actors?
"Hey look, Big Show eats Chef Boyardee! Mom, buy me some canned ravioli!"
In addition to the world's largest
shill athlete, other notable WWE and WCW wrestlers throughout history have made the advertising rounds including "Macho Man" Randy Savage (Slim Jim), Andre the Giant (Honeycomb) and even Stinger (Sprite).
And yes, "The Big Red Machine."
Kane is getting a lot of praise for his slapstick work in an anger management program opposite Daniel Bryan, which recently earned them both the tag team championship titles under the moniker "Team Hell No." It helps when you can hug out your differences.
Thank Stacker 2 for laying the foundation for a future in comedy.
Back when people were popping diet pills like Tic-Tacs, a (cough) sports nutrition company out of Jersey was pushing its dietary supplements down the throats of WWE fans (literally).
Several of the television ads featured Kane, who was still confined to his mask, playing it straight against an out-of-shape instigator who felt that being chased by one half of the "Brothers of Destructiuon" was great for his cardio.
The commercial reaffirmed that it was actually a "stupid way to burn fat."
While that may be true, there was nothing stupid about the commercials themselves, which had Kane doing everything from singing Karaoke to riding a scooter to checking out in the wrong lane at the local grocery store.
See for yourself:
The mask is back and so are the laughs. There's a reason this character won't stay dead.