WWE names the top 20 'impressive physiques' in wrestling history

This is a bad idea. Such a bad idea. Such a train wreck, enabling poor perception of jacked-up bodies bad idea. But we need to see who WWE named as having the best physiques in wrestling history. From 20 down to 1.

In its quest to get clicks (which, to be fair, is the point of any website), WWE.com has gone to great lengths with a new and interesting list seemingly every day. They've done the best wrestlers of the past decade, the greatest moments of the Attitude Era, the best finishers, the top stars in World Championship Wrestling (WCW) history; they've done it all.

Except this.

In an industry that thrives on breaking men of their own positive body image, one that places unrealistic physical demands on its performers, WWE is actually counting down the top 20 "impressive physiques" in wrestling history.

Should be a train wreck, so of course we weren't going to pass it up. Let's take a gander at the goods.

20. Lance Storm

I always thought he looked rather normal, which tells you everything you need to know about the culture created by the demand for larger than life superhero types.

19. Dolph Ziggler.

Dude is ripped, no question. He's also athletic ... too athletic. Amy Schumer, a former girlfriend, couldn't handle sex with the big Z because he was "spinning me like a Globetrotter." Go, Dolph, go.

18. Antonio Rocca

Not going to pretend like I know anything about a guy from the 1940s. He was hairy, though.

17. Shelton Benjamin

The only thing stopping him now is that ridiculous head of hair. Or the utter lack of charisma.

16. Beth Phoenix

SWERVE! What, you thought women wouldn't be included in this list, you sexist pig?! Here she is, in all her glory. I feel like this has more to do with her character than her body, though.

15. Cody Rhodes

He certainly didn't take after his daddy.

14. Jimmy Snuka

They don't call him the "Superfly" for nothing.

13. Art Thomas

Who?

12. Mr. McMahon

Oh, what the hell?

11. R-Truth

What's up?

10. Brock Lesnar

If you've ever seen this man in person, he's one of the most physically imposing human beings on Earth. He's like gravity and it's because he's a monster.

9. Goldberg

Of course he would be here. One above Brock, by the way, and I wonder how that must feel. Intentional? Whatever. Who's next?

8. Batista

I wonder if they would say that if they saw him now.

7. Rocky Johnson

The Soul Man, baby. Where do you think The Rock got his striking good looks from?

6. David Otunga

AND he's Harvard educated. WHAT?!?

5. Lex Luger

Knowing what's happened to him and where he ended up, this is more sad than anything. Plus, so many steroids.

4. The Rock

Let's be real, his head shrank and got big again throughout his career. Little scared by that.

3. Triple H

LOL.

2. John Cena

Expected him to be number one. Now very curious to see who is number one.

1. Rick Rude

Again, steroids, but that's probably almost this entire list. Still, the ladies loved Rude and the men wanted to look like him.

They don't list snubs but I'm not sure how it's possible Rude and Luger are here and Ultimate Warrior is not. That's a pretty big oversight, unless it was done intentionally, which would make one believe the relationship between the two sides isn't improving, as well as it was previously thought to be.

Anyway, what do you Cagesiders think about the list?

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Cageside Seats

You must be a member of Cageside Seats to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cageside Seats. You should read them.

Join Cageside Seats

You must be a member of Cageside Seats to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cageside Seats. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_5349_tracker