Sexy and feisty? AJ continues to prove she is the perfect Diva. (via WWE.com)
Cena! Lesnar! Tensai! Ace! Contract Signings! Green Mist! Cluserf*ck!
The main event of Raw has devolved into complete chaos, and it is getting a little difficult to keep track of everything going on. Thankfully, this is the exact type of situation the Precap was made for, keeping everything simple and organized. So let's see what we have.
First, John Cena and Brock Lesnar for the legitimacy of the WWE. Cena is the same guy he always has been. He is fighting for the guys in the back, never giving up, and always has that smirk on his face. Meanwhile, Lesnar is an ass kicking war machine who is in it only for himself and for the opportunity to beat people up. This is the matchup that fans, marks and smarks alike, want. A simple story about two men who don't like each other, and are fighting it out to see who will reign supreme.
On top of that, though, we have Lord Tensai and John Laurinaitis causing problems for Cena while Lesnar is away. Johnny Ace is the one who brought Brock Lesnar back to the WWE, and now he's brought Tensai in from Japan. It seems that "Mr. Excitement" has some sort of problem with Cena, but it has never been explained why. My only guess is he is trying to rebuild the WWE in his image. That would explain the CM Punk storyline as well. Out with the old and in with the new. Except the new is older than the old. And one of the old is actually pretty new.
Try not to think too hard about this one.
As it stands, John Cena has to stand tall against Brock Lesnar, Lord Tensai, and John Laurinaitis. It fits in nicely with his downfall story, but one always has to worry if this is a repeat of the movie we all have seen a hundred times.
The rest of the show after the jump.
Punk! Jericho! British Pubs! Fish and Chips! WWE Championship!
Chris Jericho gets a WWE Championship match against CM Punk because...he was annoying? I am always one to find any type of rational in pro wrestling, and am such a mark I will buy the flimsiest of circumstances. I'll even accept that Punk just wanted some fish and chips, because some of the best food I've had in London was in a pub. But they could have at least put an ounce of thought into the reasoning behind the title match. It is what it is, though, and it furthers a damn good storyline. There needs to be one final push towards their match at the Extreme Rules Pay-Per-View (PPV). Jericho needs to do something really devious, something that will get under Punk's skin worse than calling his family addicts and pouring booze on him. I'm not sure what that is, but hopefully tonight delivers.
Eve! Miz! Ryder! Kofi! Truth! Brodus! Ziggler! Swagger! Santino! Otunga! Everyone Else!
What the hell is going on with the Raw undercard? No, seriously. What the HELL is going on with it? There is virtually no established storyline outside of the main event. Eve Torres is still doing her thing, but it has started to stall. The Miz was supposed to get a story last week, but didn't. Ryder got murdered by Kane. Brodus Clay, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger stunk up the joint. Santino still has the meaningless United States Championship. Otunga is amazing as John Laurinaitis' right hand man, but probably should not be in the ring. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth aren't even getting anything but squashed and a silly Sherlock Holmes skit, respectively. There is absolutely nothing here. I'll speak more on this later in the week, but know that this is not a thing that should be happening.
SmackDown! On Raw!
I never thought I would say this, but I'm starting to feel bad for Teddy Long. He went from being GM of SmackDown to Johnny Ace's whipping boy. And it wasn't even really his fault. It was a tag team match! That is his specialty! How is it Teddy's fault that the mark Zack Ryder decided to get stomped in the ballskis by the beautiful and amazing Eve? Now he looks like he's going to cry every time he's on camera. It's so sad. What may or may not be sadder, though, is the fact that this has to be building up to something. Unless Teddy really pissed someone off backstage, you don't beat down a character without the idea that he'll receive redemption eventually. This is definitely something to watch for going forward.
Hopefully this has helped get you prepared for the nights activities. Leave a comment about what you are looking forward to, make sure to follow the action @Cagesideseats, please join Geno, myself, and the whole Monday Night gang during the live blog here, and join us after the show for the Cageside Live podcast here.