After Teddy Long took over Raw this past Monday and gave John Laurinaitis a huge headache, it's time for ol' Funkmaster to return the favor when he navigates the Smackdown ship this Friday.
So what's on tap? Well, last week Laurinaitis announced a match between Long's main squeeze, Aksana, and the Big Red Machine, Kane. The big guy is obviously still pretty bent about losing to John Cena at Elimination Chamber and failing to make him "embrace the hate" as evidenced by his recent actions. Will Aksana be thrown into Kane's path and become collateral in the war betweent the Raw and Smackdown General Managers?
The main event is a six-man tag match between the team of Randy Orton, The Big Show and Sheamus taking on the forces of World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes and Hey I Used to be a Champion The Miz.
And don't expect the United States title change from Raw to go unchallenged either.
Courtesy of The Wrestling Observer Newsletter, here's exactly what you can expect to see on Mar. 9. Full spoilers after the jump!
The show kicked off with temporary Smackdown General Manager John Laurinaitis and his right hand man David Otunga inside a cage, announcing a rematch between new United States Champion Santino and former champ Jack Swagger.
Santino ended up winning the cage match, overcoming interference from Dolph Ziggler and taking advantage of Vickie Guerrero accidentally slamming the door on her man rather than Santino.
We head backstage where Teddy Long is pleading with Johnny Ace to call off the match he announced last week between Kane and Aksana. Hey, Theodore! Aksana is a former FCW Divas champion, I'm sure she can handle herself in the ring, okay?! Anyway, Laurinatis says no because Long didn't say "please." Awesome prick move. But he does offer Long one out: the two of them will have a match and whoever wins will decide if the Kane/Aksana match goes down.
Drew McIntyre came out and said the temporary GM said he could keep his job if he defeated a mystery opponent. After teasing it would be The Great Khali, the mystery opponent was revealed as Hornswaggle. The former Intercontinental Champion beat the living hell out of the dirty leprechaun after three deadly, career-ending ... scoop slams? The referee calls for the bell so McIntyre is no longer living off the government.
Khali came in post-match, chopped McIntyre and carried 'Swaggle out. Holy crap. Jack Swagger and Hornswaggle tag team: Hornswagger. That one's free, Vince.
Mark Henry defeated Ezekiel Jackson. Not sure exactly what any of this means.
Long defeated Laurinaitis after Kane's pyro went off and the Big Red Machine started to make his way to the ring. Randy Orton came out and RKOed him before he stepped inside, though. During this brouhaha, Long rolled up Funkmaster and got the win.
Kofi Kingston and R-Truth beat Epico & Primo in a non-title match.
Next up when an in-ring segment with Michael Cole and WrestleMania 28's Smackdown main eventers Sheamus and Daniel Bryan. They went back and forth and at one point, A.J. was going to say something but Bryan told her to shut up. Whoa, there, D-Bry. Pump the brakes there...
And in the maaaaain event of the evening... Big Show, Orton and Sheamus defeated Bryan, The Miz and Cody Rhodes. The whole segment started off with Rhodes making fun of Show some more. Love that stuff. Those two ended up brawling to the back while Sheamus and Bryan brawled through the crowd. The Miz ended up taking another pinfall after eating an RKO from Orton.
Kane came out again and he and Orton brawled all over only to end up back inside the ring. Chokeslam from Paul Bearer's baby boy gets reversed into an RKO to end the show.
There ya have it, Cagesiders. What do you think?