Lost in all the WrestleMania 28 hoopla over the past week was this gem of a video that, quite frankly, I'm upset no one alerted me to sooner.
It features former WWE superstar John Morrison dressing up as Triple H and Undertaker and battle rapping. If that doesn't sound awesome enough, the lyrics are genius and his execution is absolutely on point.
If I had known "Jo-Mo" had a personality like this within him, I wouldn't have been so hard on him when he was getting buried on WWE television week in and week out. He showed flashes, sure, but this is just genius.
Lyrics to this awesome little ditty after the jump.
"I married the business, I do what I want to do-uh
I'll paint your coffin green and then I'll sneeze on you-uh
Black lights don't scare me, neither do your druids
Your joints are so bad, they're leaking cartilage and fluids
You came and played the game, you got the agility of Scott Steiner
You don't look so scary wearing all that guyliner
They'll stretcher you out of Miami like they did in Atlanta
When you get future endeavored, say 'Hi' to Colt Cabana
You retire and come back more often than Ric Flair
You're paying alimony, I married a billionaire
At WrestleMania, I'll be the cause of your death
Then DM Lemmy from Motorhead cause he's my BFF."
"I'm the Undertaker, you'll never break my streak
Bend over, I'll make you humble like the Iron Shiek
You orange, insecure, pompous little prick
Your movies are worse than your gimmick with Katie Vick
I crawled out of my coffin through the dirt
I'll boot you so hard, Stephanie will feel the hurt
Game, Triple H, Cerebral Assassin
When you use your scary voice, I can't help from laughing
You seem pretty confident about my streak going away
Last guy who said that was your homeboy HBK
Spit some water on the Deadman's nuts, screw your pedigree
I'll make you tap like a bitch, I watch UFC."
Trips: "I'll eliminate you like Maven did in the Royal Rumble."
Taker: "Just like Godwinn in the hogpen, I'll make you crumble."
Trips: "At least I've never been accompanied to the ring by Fred Durst."
Taker: "That match with the Ultimate Warrior was the worst."
Trips: "You're older than that chick from Harold and Maude."
Taker: "Watch your step before you tear your quad."
Trips: "You're on Santa Clause's schedule working one day a year."
Taker: "Get back behind your desk and start your new career."