Never let it be said C.J. doesn't give the fans what they want. Via wwe.com
The Precap jumps the shark with the references this week. Bonus points to the Cagesider who can find them all!
Cena! Rock! Groundhogs! Faceoff! 1 More Week!
This feud has entered the worst stages of Groundhog Day hell. Is there anything I could say that would be remotely different than what I've been saying for the past month? It is just. The same. Damn. Thing. Over. And over. Oh me, The Rock is delivering another pandering, mediocre promo. Oh my, John Cena continues to never give up and will always be here for the fans. I'm a fool for you baby, for I thought this was supposed to be the lead up to the biggest WrestleMania match in the history of the WWE. Well I'm crazy, I said I'm crazy, because I just don't see it. This is relying on reputation alone. While that isn't the worst thing in the world, it does tend to make for some very boring segments.
There will be the traditional faceoff tonight between the two icons, and perhaps even a good old fashion brawl. And maybe the execution will be so well done that it will erase all the past missteps. I truly believe that both men have it in them to put on a hell of a show. Tonight is the night that can make or break the entire buildup. Hopefully they know what they are doing.
The rest of the show after the jump
Trips! Taker! Michaels! Even! More! God! Damn! Con! Fron! Ta! Tion!
When the freaking hell did Triple H and The Undertaker turn into Hamlet and Claudius? Hamlet is, and I will defend this to my death, the worst piece of crap Shakespeare ever wrote. Hamlet is a whiny little brat who, when he doesn't get his way, rather throw temper tantrums then actually do anything. And Claudius would rather sit there and talk instead of actively protecting his throne. Just shut up, quit monologuing, and kill each other already. I was looking forward to the Hell in a Cell match a month ago. Now I'm debating whether that'll be my cigarette break. Just stop it. Oh, and quit your smirking, Shawn Michaels; your Ophelia in this analogy. Take your pansies and rue, and get thee to a nunnery.
Punk! Jericho! Family! Addiction! WWE Championship!
I'm not sure if CM Punk and Chris Jericho are in complete control of this storyline, but I would be willing to bet that WWE Creative has had little to do with this as possible. It stands polar opposite to the rest of the main event. It is a relatively quick burn that is changing every week. It started off strong and gets better with time. Their match at WrestleMania 28 is not an end point, but instead it will continue the angle forward. This is professional wrestling done right.
I mentioned last week that my family has a history of addiction, but that latest twist hits closer to home. I've seen my little sister turn from annoying sibling to full blown addict, and we almost lost her. Today she's cleaned up and healthy, but hearing Jericho talk shit about Punk's family does get to me. I think it would be a safe assumption that there are many people in the audience that share a similar story. There is an emotional investment that is rarely found anywhere on television, let alone pro wrestling. This is the best thing WWE has going for it, and I for one look forward to when it returns to the tip-top of the card.
Team Johnny! Team Teddy! Midcard! The Ultimate GM Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!
The teams are pretty much finalized between the John Laurinaitis and Teddy Long. This is the WWE, though, so surprises may be in store for the final member. For the faces, the odds on favorite would probably be Ezekiel Jackson. But there is nothing quite like a nostalgic pop. Anyone know what Mick Foley is up to lately? On the heel side, The Miz has been getting some screen time recently, so perhaps he makes his way into the picture? Or does Alberto Del Rio make his triumphant return? So many questions, so little time.
Eve! Ryder! Beth! Divas! Two Hoeskis Diverged in a Yellow Wood! And Sorry I Could Not Travel Both!
I could care less the Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos are going to get the win over Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix at WrestleMania 28. Right now that is completely inconsequential. What I do care about is how Eve has gone full-blown Lady Macbeth in her control over the mark Zack Ryder. Her interaction with Ryder last Smackdown was perfect. He offers her a compliment by calling her both beautiful and smart. Eve takes it as an insult, wondering why he's surprised a woman can be both. She then storms off, sexy, confident, and smiling like a boss. What a woman! She owns him, and it is absolutely beautiful to watch. And if anyone calls her Beth's sidekick, I will find them and slap the taste out their mouth.
Smackdown! On Raw!
People continue to talk shit about Sheamus, and in some ways I do understand it. He's not a big star, nor does he have much of a personal history. He doesn't have much in the way of catchphrases or deep storylines. And the nickname leaves a lot to be desires. "The Great White" shows up, smiles, says some funny Irish things, kicks ass, and leaves. That's his entire being. So he's ridiculed for it.
What the smarks need to realize is that it is not made for you. Sheamus is the only true babyface in the main event picture. John Cena is still every kid's hero, but his recent interactions with The Rock have pushed him to a more tweener role. CM Punk is involved in a storyline that goes completely over the heads of the young ones. Randy Orton is a schizophrenic sociopath. And I still have no clue who exactly the good guy is supposed to be in Triple H vs. The Undertaker. Sheamus is a cartoon character, battling the dastardly Daniel Bryan and trying to protect damsel AJ.
Yes, we're in an era where bad guys are cool and we read into every little thing. But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And sometimes being big, white, and Irish is enough to get people to like you. Maybe you don't like him, and that's perfectly fine. Just understand he isn't there for you. He's there for the innocents in the audience, who can still enjoy a simple story line of "good guy vs. bad guy." And do you really want to be the one to ridicule that innocence?
Hopefully this has helped get you prepared for the nights activities. Leave a comment about what you are looking forward to, make sure to follow the action @Cagesideseats, please join Geno, myself, and the whole Monday Night gang during the live blog here, and join us after the show for the Cageside Live podcast right here.