Cageside Fave Five: Wackiest occupation-based gimmicks

Wrestlers don't really have gimmicks anymore. At least, not in the same sense they did back in the 1980s and early 1990s.

Nowadays, the closest thing to a Rock and Wrestling-era gimmick is Brodus Clay and he is single-handedly making Raw the greatest show on television right now. Okay, that's a bit of an overexaggeration but "Funkasaurus" is so much fun.

Some of my favorite gimmicks back in the day were those based on real life jobs. It was a weird suspension of belief. Were they still working as whatever their gimmicks were during the day and then moonlighting as a wrestler at night? Was the commute between their office and the arena too long so they just had to wrestle in their civilian clothes?

Or did they figure, "I've already got clothes I can wrestle in, why would I have to buy some spandex?"

As you can tell, I had a lot running through my head as a kid.

The list is after the jump!

5.

Diesel

This might be the most realistic of the bunch, hence its placement at only number five. To me, truck drivers are just wrestlers who don't actually wrestle. They're on the road constantly, pop anything into their system to make sure they get their job done and even get down and dirty with ring rants. Of course, in the trucking world, they're called lot lizards.

That's too cute a name for someone who is essentially a groupie for someone who drives a big rig.

4.

The Goon

LOOK AT HIS BOOTS! THEY LOOK LIKE SKATES! The Goon's story was that he was too crazy for hockey and was kicked out of every league imaginable for fighting. So if he liked to fight so much then becoming a wrestler would make sense, right?

But why keep wearing the oversized jersey? And carrying the stick? Surprisingly, the gimmick lasted only a few months.

Those boots are killer, though.

3.

The Godfather

The man was a PIMP! An honest to goodness pimp that would come to the ring with a handful of walking, talking daddy issues in mini-skirts and stilettos. He would often get out of wrestling his matches by offering the services of his "employees" to his opponent.

Plus, it wasn't all that realistic. I never once saw The Godfather pull a switchblade out and threaten to cut somebody. That's all pimps do, right? I mean, when you think about it that way, pimping does seem pretty easy.

2.

Irwin R. Shyster

With those glasses and red suspenders, this Internal Revenue Service accountant with grappling chops became one of the most hated rulebreakers in the WWE. Mike Rotunda played the role to perfection but honestly, it's not too hard to get fans to hate someone who is supposed to represent the arm of the government responsible for some many headaches around tax time.

After his stint in the WWE, he returned to WCW under a similar gimmick, V.K. Wallstreet before retiring. His baby boys are currently tearing down the house in Florida Championship Wrestling.

1.

T.L. Hopper

Rumored to be a jab to Hulk Hogan, T.L. Hopper showed up in 1996 with a plunger named Betsy and a heart full of championship dreams. Shockingly enough, a plumber turned wrestler -- or was he a wrestler trying to become a plumber? -- didn't set the wrestling world on fire and by the following year, he was repackaged as Uncle Cletus, the swami to The Godwinns. The next year after that, he was gone from the WWE.

There you have it, Cagesiders. Who are some of your favorites?