Let it go Hogan! - Photo courtesy of ImpactWrestling.com
For Christmas, Hulk Hogan wants to get his youth back, own a private Boeing 747 jet, fix his right knee so he can win the TNA World Heavyweight Championship next year and a full head of hair. Yeah, really...
I'm sure all our Cagesiders are super excited for Christmas and have already written your wish lists for the holiday season. Maybe you're hoping for Superman Cena to find his kryptonite, WWE to ax the third hour of their marathon Monday Night Raw wrestling sessions, or TNA Impact to stop being the Hogan father and daughter amateur dramatics variety show?
I don't know what you're craving to get, dear readers (but, why not tell us in the comments section?), thanks to the UK Guardian's story on celebrity wish lists, from those stars desperate to plug something, we know what Hulk Hogan yearns to have under his Christmas tree. And it's not just to get people in my home country to watch TNA Wrestling: British Boot Camp when it debuts on Challenge TV in the New Year.
First thing Hogan wants is to get his youth back, though he wouldn't do anything differently and would wrestle the exact same matches all over again, even though they have left him crippled. The Dynamite Kid amazingly offered similar thoughts in his autobiography Pure Dynamite and he ended up in a wheelchair before the age of 40. I'm shocked that Hogan would still sleep with Mrs. Bubba The Love Sponge, after the year he's had though.
Secondly, he'd love his own private Boeing 747 jet to have wild parties on with the TNA wrestlers. It must be hard to be a millionaire that through his own mistakes has to make do without his own private airplane.
Thirdly, he'd get another knee surgery that would mend him enough so that he can have another World title winning wrestling run next year:
"I've had eight back surgeries, I've had knee replacements, I've had both hip replacements. I only need one more surgery – to fix my right knee – then I'm going to go for the TNA world title. I want to be 59 years old and be the champion."
A pie in the sky fantasy, thankfully, but still a very distressing sign that TNA will always revolve around Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and their children whilst he remains in power.
Finally, he'd like a full head of hair. Well, that's just dumb, his bald head is his calling card.
It thus looks like Hogan will be bitterly disappointed with what Santa Claus brings him this year then! Given that all his wishes are impossible to materialise.