Precap for Jan. 9, 2012 episode of Raw or, Don't feed the Jericho after midnight

There are a thousand recaps about wrestling online so this will be a bit different. Instead of recapping a show, I will be precapping it. We'll look at what will likely happen tonight, what plots will move forward, what questions could be answered, and what crazy shenanigans we might see. It is important to go into a show with the best possible attitude, and it is my job to get you prepared. Consider this a cheat sheet for your Monday night test.

It Begins (to get annoying)

We had it all figured out, didn't we? We knew the mystery man from lasts weeks Raw (Jan. 2, 2012) was going to be Chris Jericho. With all the dirt sheets, blog posts and Twitter talk, there was no surprise left. There would be the big reveal, we would all be disappointed because it did not live up to our expectations, and we would move on.

Jericho had other ideas.

Give the man credit, he knows his audience. Y2J is not trying to appeal to the John Cena fans. His admirers are not of the PG Era, remember before they took the F out, knew what true Attitude was, and had chosen a side in the Monday Night Wars. They have witnessed every twist and turn, shock and awe, real and in kayfabe. They have become jaded with the product, and view the past through rose-colored glasses. Jericho knew that his fans wanted the world from him. He was supposed to be our savior, and he would deliver us from this miserable product.

Instead, he gave us nothing but a smile and flashy jacket.

Lets be honest: There was nothing Jericho could have said that would have been enough. We would have marked out, sure. But we would have fantasy booked the hell out of his return, and complained if it did not meet our standards. So he gave us nothing to work with. He is so in tuned with his fans that he knew exactly what to say to make it obvious he was coming back. Jericho wanted to build this up as big as possible, and then just walk away. He has refused to give us what we want. We asked for too much. And so we received a lump of coal.

But it was the flashiest lump of coal out there. And it was exactly what we needed.

The rest of the show after the jump.

Cena! Kane! Depths of Hell!

This has become a weird plotline for me. On paper, it has the potential to be something great. During the execution, it comes up sorely lacking. It stands so polar opposite to Jericho that it should almost be on a different show. Where Y2J says nothing, Cena says too much. Where Jericho just turns and walks away, Kane is trying to drag poor Zack Ryder down below the ring. I just want to shake my screen and scream "simplify, simplify, simplify!" We'll get the fun little video packages though, and maybe Jericho will take another 20 minutes to run around the ring that they are forced to cut some time. At the same time, Kane trying to pull Ryder into the abyss kind of jumped the shark, so perhaps we have nowhere to go but up. And for those keeping track of the Star Wars parallel, Ryder has become Princess Leia. Which is fun because that means Eve is Han Solo. That in turn makes Kelly Kelly Chewbacca. Which is just ... perfect.

CM Punk! Dolph Ziggler! Johnny Ace! WWE Championship!

I really don't want to jinx this, but this fued has been booked fairly well. Actually, better than fairly well. Like, wicked damn good. Punk and Ziggler have fun matches together, but with the two interfered with endings they aren't actually giving away the full match on free TV. Ziggler's promos have been absolutely outstanding. The direction they are taking this is logically consistent and very entertaining. On top of all of that, John Laurinaitis may be the best character on the entire roster. I am completely serious with that statement. He is not the diabolical Mr. McMahon. He is Steve Carell doing an impersonation of Mr. McMahon. Which means David Otunga is Dwight Schrute? I need to stop doing these.

R-Truth! Miz! Ducks! Quack!

I love R-Truth. I am so glad he has come back from being Wellness'd. This is a man with a gift, and that gift is to act absolutely insane. It is amazing to me that he can talk to imaginary people, shout complete nonsense, quack like a duck, and Miz still looks like the idiot of the duo. This is a fun little sideshow, and I will be sad when it ends. One small point, though. Johnny Ace's first act as Interim General Manager of Raw was to hire Miz and Truth back, cause they all are bad guys and bad guys stick together. Now, he is intentionally leaving Miz out to dry and letting R-Truth attack him, even though Truth is the face. Laurinaitis is a complex fellow.

Ryder! Eve! Romance! U.S. Championship!

In the last precap, I said that I'm glad that Ryder is no longer in the main event because he is much more comfortable doing his little shtick in the midcard. I think last weeks Raw proved that. His interaction between Eve, Swagger, and Ace was actually pretty funny. His being dragged to hell in the closing scene was very not, though that was no fault of his own. Why are they going to bring down one of their most popular characters like that? Luckily, he has his own show (and if you aren't watching it, you really should be) to advance storylines on his own. Ryder with a little school boy crush fits so perfectly with his character. We just need a badass to take both his title and his girl, forcing him to fight for them back (or choose between the two), and we got a pretty good story going.

Smackdown! On Raw!

SPOILER ALERT! they turned Daniel Bryan heel on Smackdown last week. I don't necessarily love it, but I understand it. Henry is hurt so he can't play the heel, Big Show is too over as a face to move him, and Bryan isn't secure enough with the fans to be a tweener. It'll be interesting to see how they handle this one. I really only have two wishes for this: 1) Bryan will make a title run all the way to Wrestlmania and face Orton and 2) Bryan and Mark Henry form a group called D-Mark and just act like two badasses.

Hopefully this has gotten you prepared for the nights activities. Leave a comment about what you are looking forward to, make sure to follow the action @Cagesideseats and please join Geno, myself, and the whole Monday Night gang during the live blog here.