E-wrestling for Cagesiders: [RPW] The Dirt Sheet #05

Revival Pro Wrestling is a fantasy e-wrestling federation for Cagesiders! In RPW you create a wrestler who competes for glory, gold... or just goofs.

Twice a week the wrestlers of Revival Pro Wrestling take part in a video show to talk trash to their opponents, help further angles, and put on a show. This is THE DIRT SHEET. For those of you who may have read an episode of Wednesday Night Revival, that is just one part of e-wrestling! If words have strength, then The Dirt Sheet is the place to flex your muscles!

Handlers of each wrestler send these in to be posted, and these guys are good! If you'd like to join in on the action, make sure to check out Wednesday Night Revival every week and email me at jonknapik@gmail.com to participate! Slots still open, and our first supercard is scheduled for February 29th!

Bear in mind this all looks a lot nicer in the pdfs I create, so email me to subscribe to the mailing list for future updates as they were intended to be viewed! Also, it's the only way to view REVIVAL AFTER DARK... the lounge act of professional wrestling. Anything can happen on After Dark!

Check out The Dirt Sheet after the jump!

SKETCHY DAN

::Sketchy Dan posts a YouTube video to his Twitter and Facebook accounts. It is obviously shot at a bar on his iPhone::

Sketchy: WHATS UP THERE, DOUCHEBAGS? So I just read that I am fighting that camelbanger Jafaar al Sultan. What the hell is going on in this organization. I kick the hell out of Ryan Mercy and I get rewarded with this butthole? No one even knows who he is! Look, I'll be honest, I don't know this guy and I don't really give two shits about him. I know he's named after the dude from Aladdin. So that's kinda cool I guess. But the point is, if I don't get a little more respect from this organization I'm going to start making things a LOT messier than I already have. All I'm saying is, after I make quick work of old Jafaar and his parrot I better get a shot at a title. Now it's time to go find a girl and booze her up. Hopefully she looks a little like Sunshine.

Sunglasses ON.

::video cuts::

Dirt Sheet #05 – 01/21/12

Hank Snow – "The Wreck of the Ol’ 97"

[The Dirt Sheet opens with Harold Murphy standing behind a desk wearing a black suit and tie with white undershirt. There is a stack of papers in front of him as well as a pitcher and glass of water. Behind him is a large screen where the promos from different wrestlers will play as they are introduced by Murph. Murphy is shaking his head at the last video.]

MURPHY: There’s Sketchy Dan with his usual rude, xenophobic, sexist remarks! And this is The Dirt Sheet! Ever since Dominic Golden realized he got paid the same whether he did this show or not, it’s been up to me to go it alone. Fear not, dear viewer, Harold Murphy is here for you to introduce the latest news, comments, and exploits of Revival Pro Wrestling’s stars. Sketchy Dan is unfortunately one of those stars, and he will be taking on the debuting Jafaar al-Sultan. No one is sure of al-Sultan’s motives, but two things cannot be denied – he has the training in the ring AND the cash in the bank to take care of business.

JAFAAR al-SULTAN

The camera shows a long line at an airport. Travelers of varying ages can be seen waiting on line, with large suitcases and luggage scattered around them. At the front of the line, a family is being hassled by airport security. An old woman, likely in her 70s, is standing in an x-ray machine, and a young boy, around ten or so, has his arms spread, and is being pat down by a security guard. The camera pans away, through the walls of the airport, onto the runway. A big commercial airliner is being towed to the airport terminal. In the background, a smaller, private aircraft can be seen at a very steep angle, taking off for some foreign destination. The camera then fades away.

It returns, and Jafaar al-Sultan can be seen sitting on a plush tan leather chair on the inside of a private jet. He is dressed in a gray pinstripe three-piece suit, leaning back, reading the New York Times. He ‘sees’ the camera and leans forward, placing the open newspaper on a polished chestnut table in front of him, that also has the newest issues of Fortune magazine and Business Week, as well as a laptop that seems to be streaming stock market data. He pushes the laptop closed, and addresses the camera.

Jafaar: "Ah, it is good to see all of you again. It is I, Jafaar al-Sultan, if you don’t remember my name. Please, don’t mind the clutter. I was just reading up on some new investment strategies. The average annualized gain for my mutual fund portfolio only was 26.8% as of December 31, 2011, and that will not do at all. I have important news. Everything is in order, and I have received word that I will be making my Revival Pro Wrestling debut next Wednesday. I have been informed by the commissioner that I will be squaring off against Sketchy Dan.

Jafaar: Dan- if I may be so bold as to call you ‘Dan’- I saw your match last week on Wednesday Night Revival against Ryan Mercy. You impress me. You are unconventional, and I like that. A CEO who uses the same strategies over and over soon finds himself out of a job when the competition catches on. In my home country, we have a saying. "The wild camel that runs straight runs straight into the waiting hands of someone eager to capture him." You also seem like an enterprising fellow. I have a proposition for you. Next Wednesday, I will come to the ring with a check written out for $15,000, in your name. If you want it, all you need to do is lose the match. I won’t be dismissive of you, and demand that you lay down in front of me, so I can get the pinfall. Once the timekeeper rings the bell, turn around and head back up the ramp, counting yourself out. Weigh your options, and think about my offer. Would you rather break a sweat, have a grueling match with myself, and possibly even sustain a black eye that would damage your chances with the ladies, or would you rather make $15,000 simply walking back to the locker room after our match begins? That is a lot of PBR, my friend. Imagine the shopping spree you could go on in American Apparel with $15,000.

Jafaar: Also, looking to the future, I also cleared my calendar to ensure that I will be available four RPW’s ‘End of the World’ show in England, on February 29th. I was invited to a banquet dinner for Mr. David Cameron, but frankly, he and I still nurse a grudge, so I won’t lose a wink of sleep not being present for that affair. Cards aren’t established yet, and there is quite a bit of time between then and now, but let’s just say that I am making phone calls, and that I am planning a surprise for ‘End of the World’. But, enough of that. Now, If you’ll excuse me, I have business to attend to.

The camera pans back slightly as a young blonde wearing a stewardess uniform walks up to Jafaar. She is carrying a tray, and on it is a crystal glass with some bubbling champagne in it and a bunch of colorful rolls of sushi. Jafaar reaches over to take it, whispering something to the girl that causes her to giggle as the camera fades to black.

MURPHY: Jafaar al-Sultan tries to win through bribery? Between this and shutting down children’s hospitals, I’ve seen enough of this guy to form an opinion; and I would say he is no better than Sketchy Dan! Hopefully when the bell rings, Sketchy Dan decides to wrestle like any honorable professional wrestler would and we see these two head-to-head. Speaking of honorable professionals – HAKAI DRAGON once again proved himself to be the Iron Dragon of RPW by defending the RPW Iron Man Championship against the always-dangerous Landon Jackson!

HAKAI DRAGON

RPW IRON MAN CHAMPION

[Another dark setting]

Voice: 2 and 0… We did it yet again. Streaks are for those who need something to believe in. I have everything I need right here with this championship and the fans who support me out in the ring. You have raised a winner. After all those years of getting knocked around, I cannot tell you how proud I am to put light on our families name. Restore our honor! Our place in history. Thank you for believing in me and I wish you were here to see this… Soon my friend. Soon you will be able to revel in the victories with me…. Wha!?]

[Shuffling is heard and a door is shut. Lights come on and standing in front of us is Hakai!]

Hakai: You are making a habit of being early. Again, welcome to my home.

[Hakai has his shinobi shozoko on but he is standing very gingerly. As he goes to his couch, you can visibly see him grimace with each step.]

Hakai: Before we get to the battle of the undefeateds, let me thank Mr. Jackson. You gave me a strong run for my money and it was an honor to share the squared circle with you. You were a fierce competitor and I have no doubts your future here in RPW is very bright. I do not know what happened at the end of our match but next time you try to take someone out with their back to you, make sure you don’t stomp around like a rabid rhinoceros before you hit them… Also, those ring posts are quite sturdy. I will tell you this though, the result of the match, with or without distraction, would have been the same. You can beat me within an inch of my life but you had better be willing to take that last inch because I promise you and everyone else, I will fight until the breath is out of my body.

[Hakai motions with his arm to the mantle where his title is proudly displayed. He also winces as he pulls his arm back]

Hakai: The Iron Man Championship means everything to me. I told the commissioner to do what he had to in order to bring relevance to the title and I would do my part to add credibility and I’ve done what I’ve said so far. Pain is temporary, legacy and honor is forever! I am the Iron Man Champion and whether I have to go through Brett Bannion or Magenta Moon or Ian Jones. It doesn’t matter to me. Put them all in the ring. If I still have a breath in my body, I will make this title mean something. If you want to take it from you, you had better be ready to take your game to a new level because I promise you this. I will give you my best and then some. I will make the people proud to chant "Iron Dragon" because I am a fighting champion. I will answer that bell against all opponents. Mr. Bannion, your undefeated and without a real challenger, I highly suggest you be ready on Wednesday because I will give you a challenge. This is a game of inches and you’d better be ready to take all of mine away.

[Hakai stands, walks over to the mantle, lifts out the belt and holds it up to his face as he looks into the camera]

Hakai: This right here, says I am the best in this business right now. I will prove again on Wednesday why I am the best again. I hope the fans bring their paddle boats to the arena because when the Tsunami hits London, the wave of destruction will continue at any cost!

MURPHY: Hakai Dragon has been a quality representative of everything that Revival Pro Wrestling stands for. His athleticism, heart, and honor have taken him to two huge victories. Can he follow it with a third on Wednesday against the recently returned-to-wrestling Brett Bannion? Both men are undefeated, and it should prove to be a fantastic contest. Something that no one is 100% sure about – why did El Omega 23’s music play during Landon Jackson’s match? Let’s see what El Omega 23’s manager DIEGO SAN MARTIN has to say!

DIEGO SAN MARTIN

[We are treated to a new scene, Diego San Martin is seated in an office on his usual business suit.]

San Martin: Welcome to my office in Chile, South America....you might get comfortable if you wish so, but i want to cut right to the chase. Last WNR i was looking forward to watching a particular match, im talking about the main event consisting of a Iron Man Title Defense pitting Hakai Dragon against challenger Landon Jackson....it was not to be though, because shortly after our match i got an urgent international call regarding my business here and we had to leave the building immediately to the airport, boarding the first flight back home.

As of now i've been able to catch tape of what happened there and i noticed that something went terribly wrong......you see, our music only had to play twice on Wednesday, once when we made our entrance and once again when we won but somehow it played again, for a third time and right during the main event, interrupting it.

[Diego shakes his head from side to side in disapproval]

San Martin: It was one of the most outrageous things i've ever seen, we are men bound by honor and we went to america in a quest to prove our dominance, to become champions not just to hold a belt, but to carry the prestige of being the best in the world. We would never, ever interfere in a title match just for the sake of it, we have nothing but respect for the Hakai Dragon and we are glad that he was able to overcome the adversity that was put on his way. We've aknowledged Dragon as a potential threat, as a man that will eventually stand on the way of our quest and when that happens, we will deal with him as real honorable men do, mano a mano, hombre contra hombre, one on one, and in the middle of the ring.

But for now i'll use all my power and resources to find who's behind this lowly scheme, who's the one who dared try and tarnish our honor, the man who incriminated us of treason, laziness and taking shortcuts to the spotlight., you all should know that we strive to earn what we get and we are damn proud of it.

We are the beggining and we are the end, we are a godly force, we are above you all and thus have no need for such antics, never forget that.

Once we find you we'll make an example out of you, and after we are done nobody is gonna even dare to think of doing something like that again.

And don't bother hiding, because we will find you, soon.

La Resistencia es inutil, i mean....Resistance is Futile, we are The End of all Hope.

[Diego picks up a remote from his desk and points it at the camera, as he presses a button the screen goes black]

MURPHY: Well Senor San Martin says he had nothing to do with the musical interruption, but can he really be trusted? With El Omega 23 being the killer he seems to be, can either man be trusted to ‘play by the book’? We’ll have an opportunity to see more of both men on WNR AFTER DARK when El Omega 23 takes on "The Grappler" Gary Graplin! Is this Gary’s time to shine. Uh… probably not.

Murph shuffles some papers in front of him and clears his throat.

MURPHY: So what of Landon Jackson? Jackson faces Aron Scythe next week on Wednesday Night Revival. Both men are coming off of losses, and both need a win to realistically get a shot at the RPW Heavyweight Championship! Let’s hear from Landon Jackson.

LANDON JACKSON

{Landon's gym is empty. No one is around. Only one light is one in the center of the ring. There Landon sits Indian style in the center, camera facing him from the turnbuckle. The film is black Black and white.}

Landon: what a match last week. Dragon, you and I make a hell of a team. You took everything I dished out and returned it to me. Kudos to you. You can have that iron man title. It means nothing anyway. I only wanted it because it was the only title around at the time. However now there is a new prize and it will be around my waist I guarantee you and everyone that.

{Landon stands up and walks around a little}

Landon: so this week my opponent is Aron Scythe? I was wondering, just Who is this guy? So I watched his match last week a few times and I was fairly impressed. He seems like a decent competitor....for Gary Graplin. Look man, Im not underestimating you at all. You look talented. You've got potential but you stand between me and that heavyweight title. That is mine. I will make an example out of you to get it. I've scouted you all day. Your all that's been on my mind. You don't have a chance. I'm a monster bro. If you only knew the things I've done. I've got guys in the state penn who cry when they here my name. There are guys without eyes there, guys without hands, I've done some gruesome things to survive man and well while I may have toned down my act a little done think I've forgotten my past and don't for a second think it can't resurface. You will not underestimate me or I will break you.

{Landon sits on the turnpost.}

Which Brings me to my next point. Commissioner, I have a request to ask of you. I want that heavyweight championship. I want it more than anything. I WILL earn it but I need you to give me the opportunity now! I will get it. I will defend it to all comers and I will lay them to waste. So hear my request and grant me the opportunity to battle for it.


{Landon starts to laugh silently}

Landon: if you choose to ignore my request sir, I will bring this federation to it's knees. No one will be spared. I will break and ruin this all. You have no idea what I'm capable of. Everyone in that locker room had better be aware. If I am not granted what I want all will suffer. You won't be able to breathe without my permission. I will break everyone.. The destruction will be epic and I will not be held responsible for what happens, prison doesn't scare me..I was once told that to be a champion you have to prove that no one is better than you at it, and I plan on showing the world. That being said, I hope you hear my request and consider the matches and the displays that I have shown. You and I both know I deserve that gold..

It's Game time and I hold the pieces.

{camera feed cuts out}

MURPHY: Strong words from Landon Jackson! Let’s see what "Psycho Nerd" Aron Scythe has on his mind!

ARON SCYTHE

[The camera fades in on the locker rooms backstage after this week’s Wednesday Night Revival After Dark. We see Aron Scythe sitting down in his civilian clothes, a "Blake’s 7" T-shirt and jeans. His long brown hair is soaking wet a towel over his shoulders. His usual happy-go-lucky smile replaced by a somewhat frustrated grimace as he rubs his jaw..]

Scythe: Eight years…

[Aron pauses for a moment balling his fist up looking ready to punch something but hesitates. His head shaking for a second then lowering.]

Scythe: I don’t talk very much about why it took me so long to get back into the ring, but eight years ago I was on the cusp of winning a world title and I choked. I never wanted to admit I choked. I made excuses said I wasn’t 100%, said that I was in a triple-threat match against two super-heavyweights but…

The bottom line is I came up short.

And now eight years later I get a call from Jack Dobbs telling me about Revival Pro Wrestling and after all that time licking my wounds I decide to take another shot at this.

So my first match back I get put up against one of the most experienced guys on the roster and what do I do? I come up short again.

[Aron pauses for a moment shrugging a bit.]

Scythe: The fact of the matter is I got no one to blame for myself. I tried to play some head games with Leonard Knox, I tried to be clever but the only one I outsmarted was myself. I thought I could pull a quick one by playing possum and hitting a quick counter him but the "Bradford Barfly" is no fool.

[Aron pauses for a moment continuing to rub his jaw.]

Scythe: So right now the only way I got a snowball’s chance in hell of getting a Heavyweight Qualifier match is if I go through Landon Jackson. A guy who was in jail while I was off shooting "The Frozen Inferno" and doing that "Celebrity Restaurant" TV show. I don’t know why he was in prison but… I know he’s the kind of guy who can not be intimidated, he can not be manipulated in a fight, and he never backs down from a fight. He’s younger than me, he’s stronger than me and he’s hungry. In some ways he’s the worst kind of guy I can fight right now.

[Aron pauses for a second his face slowly starting to smile again.]

Scythe: 14 years ago I had my first match in North America, got my ass handed to me and my nose was broken. I thought about quitting but my trainer told me that if I gave up I’d get a heck of a lot more than a broken nose. Two weeks later I find myself in one of the toughest bouts of my career and winning…

But now isn’t about living in the past it’s about the here and now. Landon Jackson you may have been the meanest guy on the prison block, but you don’t have the kind of experience I have. Jackson you may be one of the most technically sound wrestlers on the card but I’ve got more tricks than you will ever know.

On Wednesday, January 25th "The Otakalypse" is taking the fight right to you Jackson and I’m going to do everything I can do to win via pinfall, submission, or even a knock-out if that’s what it takes!

[Aron pauses for a moment motioning for a punch before grinning at the camera as we fade to black.]

MURPHY: Scythe vs. Jackson on Wednesday Night Revival! Ever since the shocking news of THE END OF THE WORLD and the RPW Heavyweight Title, it’s all most people can talk about! Two men have a shot at being the first entrants into the ‘final four’ of wrestlers vying for the gold. John Brandenburg and Damien Wolfe have been at each other’s throats the past two weeks, and now they have a chance to face one another with so much on the line! Let’s see what Damien Wolfe has to say!

DAMIEN WOLFE

[Scene opens on Brandy Swinson and Damien Wolfe stood in front of an RPW logo]

Swinson: Well Damien, this was certainly a better week for the British wrestlers in RPW. What are your thoughts on the matches?

Wolfe: Brandy, the cream will always rise to the top, the British wrestlers didn't come here to make up the numbers, we ARE the show....

Kirk Cobain, I'll give you credit, you've got guts, a lot of guts and you surprised me this week, but all the guts in the World couldn't delay the inevitable, when your in the ring with Damien Wolfe you will tap out or pass out.

Swinson: Next week you will be taking on John Brandenburg in a qualifying match for the RPW Heavyweight Championship tournament, are you confident of progressing?

[Wolfe laughs hards]

Wolfe: Am I confident? I've never been more confident in my life! This is what I've been waiting for, a chance to show off my skills in the main event of Wednesday Night Revival. I've said it before and I'll say it again, John Brandenburg is a fake, that was proved this week when he lost to Magenta Moon. John, you claim to be a master of submission... it's time to come sit under the learning tree 'cus next week on Revival, I'm gonna teach you the true meaning of tap. As for the Championship? It's fitting that the title will be decided in England, it can't be a coincidence, it is my destiny to make someone tap that night and become RPW Heavyweight champion in my home country. God save the Queen... and Damien Wolfe.

[Fade to black]

MURPHY: Damien Wolfe will confront the man he claims is using an illegal maneuver in The Signature Brand! My colleague Dominic Golden seems to side with Wolfe, but I’m not so sure. Let’s hear from "The Brand"!

JOHN "THE BRAND" BRANDENBURG

RPW cameras catch a dejected John Brandenburg in the trainer's room at the Black Knight Gym. He is icing his head and neck two days after his match with Magenta Moon.

Brandenburg: Defeat is not something I usually go through in life. Every time I have stepped into the squared circle, whether in college or in the Black Knight Gym, I have always been the best fighter. Part of the reason why I came to Revival Pro Wrestling is for the rush of competition, the fire you get in the pit of your stomach when you know a wrestler is just as strong and just as hungry to win as you are. This past Wednesday, that rush was plentiful. Magenta Moon, you are a hell of a competitor, and I commend you on your victory. Even though I am frustrated with my loss, you were the better, well, woman, this time around. But I promise that next time, when we meet with the championship gold hopefully at stake, the tables will be turned.

Brandenburg winces in pain as he stretches out his neck. His eyes refocus on the camera.

Brandenburg: Speaking of championship gold, it seems Commissioner Dobbs has seen fit to grant me an opportunity to redeem myself. After a loss, you can hang your head and second-guess yourself, or you can fight back with renewed vigor. This upcoming Wednesday on Wednesday Night Revival, I will have the chance to reignite my fire by beginning my chase for the RPW Heavyweight Championship. It seems like at RPW's first pay-per-view, End of the World, the most prestigious award in all of professional wrestling will be on the line in a four-man tournament. I came to RPW to prove that submissions wrestling was the superior style in the world of professional wrestling, and to be able to claim that award and put that championship gold around my waist would be accomplish that task. I would like nothing more than to win and defend the highest honor in wrestling in front of the RPW faithful.

Brandenburg moves the ice around his neck once again, this time towards the posterior.

Brandenburg: Of course, there will be obstacles along the road to the RPW Championship, and the first one is this Wednesday night, when I face Damien Wolfe. Wolfe, the last time we met, I had you in my grasps with the Black Knight Brand and had you close to tapping. Then, when the match ended and my partner and I were the winners, you bashed me across the back of my head with a steel chair (Brandenburg turns and points at the freshly healed scar of the chair shot from the inaugural Wednesday Night Revival). I'll remind you that I do not forget these scars nor the wrestlers who have dealt them. None of these wounds that I have passed without retribution.

Brandenburg turns back to and stares intently at the camera.

Brandenburg: We have unfinished business, and as I said last week, I'd be happy to complete your lesson anytime in between the ropes. You have been campaigning for the Signature Brand to be banned, but what I'm interested in knowing is what makes you so certain about its nature. My rules say that the first step is to LEARN to tap to the submission move, and that is something you just have not done with me yet. But you see, that's the beauty of our match this week. On Wednesday night, when I lock in the Signature Brand and you pass out, you will get a first-hand look at the move yourself, and maybe then you can decide whether it is illegal or just effective.

Brandenburg smiles, puts down the ice pack, and cracks his knuckles.

Brandenburg: The best part about this is that, come Wednesday, there won't be any more talking. No partners or interference to get in ther way. There especially won't be any chairs involved. All there will be you and me in the center of that ring, and this time, I will help you LEARN to tap to the Signature Brand. And after that, I will move on to End of the World and compete to become the first RPW Heavyweight Champion!

MURPHY: Well I don’t think Brandenburg has to prove to anyone how tough he is – look at his past matches and the one coming up! He hasn’t had it east once, folks. Only one of those men can go on to compete for the RPW Heavyweight Title! We’ll see who that man is on Wednesday. Next we hear from Leonard Knox, a man who was successful in his debut against "Psycho Nerd" Aron Scythe on Revival After Dark!

LEN ‘ARD KNOX

Leonard is sitting in a dimly lit pub.

Me? I'm a patriot. England is my home and I love it dearly. Still, it isn't perfect - I'll admit it. It's given rise to things the world could have done wi'out. Coldplay. Big Brother. Ian Jones.

Look, Jones. There's probably a nice bloke underneath the leather and loudmouthing but at present yer embarrassing yerself. Yer embarrassing the English people as a whole. Mouthing off to the Yanks because we used to "own" them? Christ, lad, our nation's in a sorry state if we've got to go back to the 18th-bloody-Century to find something to boast about. Get over it!

Now I see that yer assaulting people in the locker room. That, my son, is the behaviour of a coward. You like talking about England? Well, I'm sure you know that Saint George slew the dragon. Where? Face to face. In the field o' combat. We wouldn't respect 'im if 'e'd snuck up and skewered it while it was on the bogs. Man up! If you can't wrestle fair an' square you might as well go back to pulling 'eads off barbie dolls. (Why d'ya do that, by the way? I mean, p'r'aps you think it looks scary but I've seen my daughter do it 'undreds of times. It doesn't make you 'ard.)

I 'ad fun with Aron. He's a good sportsman, that lad, in both senses o' the world. I might not be quite so chirpy on next week's Revival, though. I'll wrestle you as fairly as anybody else, Jones, but I don't mind saying that it'll be especially nice to take you down a peg or two. There's a target on you, lad, and I'm going for the Bullseye.

MURPHY: Knox and Scythe had a heck of a match, and I could see them teaming together down the line! Knox’s win earned him a tough match against the crazed Ian Jones! Jones and Knox should be a tremendous matchup! An interesting note about the matchup – Knox is from England… how will he be treated by his fellow Englander? Hmm. Well next let’s hear from another British grappler! He has the week off after a victory on the last Wednesday Night Revival, but he’s here with something to say anyway. Mr. Nice Guy is a busy man! Here he is.

MR. NICE GUY

The camera picks up Mr. Nice Guy who is stood on a street in New Orleans, jazz music can be heard in the background.

Finally, I got my first win here in RPW. It means my record has improved and I am undefeated in singles competition. But I still can’t seem to get over the loss Damien Wolfe and I suffered when we teamed up. I see it as a black mark on my record and no matter how many times I go over the match in my head I just can’t seem to understand how we lost. It had been eating away at me for a week, so I am glad I was able to get the loss partially out of my system. But I feel as if I will never get over it and completely banish it from my thoughts unless I go one on one with Malcolm Valenzuela somewhere down the line and beat him in the centre of the ring and this time the "Escape Artist" will not be allowed to escape from losing. You see, I am someone who has to analyse every little detail of my performances and I study up on my opponents which is why I got my hand raised this past week at Wednesday Night Revival.

People may say (puts on the accent of an elderly American man) that match was a walk in the park for MNG.

But they don’t understand the amount of homework I did on "The Grappler" Gary Graplin. I looked at his style, strengths, weaknesses and tendencies in the ring and compiled a thorough report which I keep in here.

(Taps side of forehead with index finger)

I guess you can call me a student of the game. But don’t think I am singling you out for special attention Gary, each and every wrestler I have faced in the past and every wrestler I will face in the future has and will find themselves in, what I like to call the MNG Memory Log Book.

MNG moves a few yards and stops so that a busker in a wheelchair playing the saxophone is visible. Mr. Nice Guy looks down at the pavement then digs deep into his jean pocket and drops some change into the timeworn hat of the busker. The camera cuts as MNG heads off (with a slight limp) into the distance just as the sax player starts a new song.

MURPHY: Mr. Nice Guy calls out "The Escape Artist" Malcolm Valenzuela! Could we see the week after next on Wednesday Night Revival? Nice Guy is a talented wrestler, and I’m looking forward to see what he’s capable of in the future! Now let’s see what Magenta Moon is up to! She had HUGE win over John Brandenburg last week and will go into the ring against Leanna "Sunshine" Morningside, the only other female wrestler on the roster next week on Wednesday Night Revival!

MAGENTA MOON

(We once again open inside the "Touched by Divinity" day spa where we first met MAGENTA MOON. The same dark haired beauty that was working the front desk before notices the camera and smiles.)

RECEPTIONIST: Ah, I was hoping we'd see you again. Any time Ms. Moon does an interview here, we get a surge in business. She has quite the following. She's back there getting a treatment, go right on ahead.

(The camera makes its way past the front desk and also beyond a slew of women, much more than before, clad only in white towels. Well-toned, handsome men are pampering each of them in whatever their hearts' desires are. Finally, the camera catches a glimpse of Moon, sitting in a chair with what looks like avocado on her face and cucumbers on her eyes. Her hair is wrapped in a towel and she's wearing a thick white robe. Four men attend to her nails, one for each appendage...)

EMPLOYEE: Ms. Moon? The camera man is here.

MOON: <head still back, doesn't move at all> Ah, good. Pardon me if I don't move, even the best in the world needs some upkeep. You don't become "The Face of Wrestling" without a little of help, you know what I mean? Speaking of a little help, it seems that I'm not getting any from the front office at Revival Pro Wrestling. I mean, I am cheated out of the Iron Man Championship in the first week after I thoroughly dominated the competition and then I step inside the ring this past Wednesday with JOHN BRANDENBURG and lay him out, 1-2-3. I took everything "The Brand" had to offer, rose above him and came out on top. It's really a pity that I'm your rival Jonathan because if not for me, you might very well become the best RPW has to offer. If I was ... how did I put it?

EMPLOYEE: Almost impressed, Ms. Moon.

MOON: Ah, yes. If I was "almost impressed" by your debut performance, the mettle you showed me in the ring on Wednesday goes ahead and gets rid of the qualifier. I'm impressed, Jonathan. <smiles> I'll have to keep an eye on you. But I digress. The point I was trying to make is that someone in the front office might have something against "The Face of Wrestling." Brandenburg is getting a chance to qualify for the World Heavyweight Title tournament despite coming off a loss. Me? An impressive showing in week one and an even more impressive victory this week lands me where? A preliminary match against ... against ...

EMPLOYEE: Leanna Morningside, Ms. Moon.

MOON: Her. Whoever that is.

EMPLOYEE: She goes by "Sunshine," Ms. Moon. She won her RPW debut against Aiden O'Neill this week.

MOON: <angrily> That wasn't a question. The fact of the matter <mockingly> "Sunshine" is that you aren't fit to step inside the same ring as me. You aren't worthy. Whatever your story is -- <to employee> not a word <employee, who was about to speak quickly reconsiders -- wherever you're from ... none of that matters to me. YOU don't matter to me. So you won a match against some other loser? Big deal. Trash on top of trash as far as I'm concerned. I'm not going to be cliché and say there's only room for one woman in RPW. That's not true. There can be as many as women as the head office wants. Hell, we could turn into an all-woman promotion for all I care. It's not true there's only room for one woman in RPW but it is damn fact there's only room for one queen. And "Sunshine," darling, you're looking at her.

So you need to ask yourself this: have you come to terms with the realization that you'll always play second fiddle to me? When you signed your RPW contract, did you accept the fact that you'll always be number two to my number one? I wouldn't know the feeling but I can imagine it's devastating. To know that you'll never be the best, no matter how hard you try, no matter how tough you are, no matter ... what. No matter what, Morningside, you'll never be better than me. In Atlanta, next Wednesday, I'm going to throw a bucket of cold water on your bright and sunny demeanor, "Sunshine."

(At this point, Moon sits up and removes the cucumbers covering her eyes...)

You and me, we're both wrestlers and we're both women. That's where the similarities end. We're the same on the most basic genetic level but that's it. I'm faster, stronger, tougher, prettier ... pretty much every damn word you can add an '-er' to, I am than you. You might consider it an honor to face me but I consider it an insult to have to face you. If you want an autograph, get one before the match, sweetheart, because you're going to be too busy being knocked out cold afterwards. Don't say I didn't warn you ... <mockingly> "Sunshine."

<Moon chuckles and once again leans back as the employees continue to pamper her as we fade to black...)

MURPHY: Let’s end the show with someone who won’t be wrestling this week either – "Ravishing" Ronnie Reynolds! I sat down to speak with Reynolds a few days ago and… well, I’ll let you watch. Regardless of what you think of the guy, there is no doubting the pedigree he brings to the ring. When will he debut on RPW television? Thanks for watching folks! For RPW, this is Harold Murphy! We’ll see you in a couple days for more DIRT SHEET!

"RAVISHING" RONNIE REYNOLDS

~ Noisy office ~

Geritt: Ronnie, the folks down at RPW are asking you to fly up to London.

They want to do a sit-down interview with you.

Reynolds: Who's doing the interview? If it's that hack and a half Golden, then tell them I ain't doin'

the sitdown.

Geritt: Alright Ronnie, though it may serve you well to shut Golden up...

~ dials RPW offices ~

Geritt: My client will do the interview, on 3 conditions:

First, it's Harold Murphy doing the interview.

Second, Ronnie gets to come in after the area's been set-up.

Third, Ronnie wants a match on the pay-per-view.

Got it?Good.

~ click ~

~ Ronnie flies into London ~

Reynolds: Harold, great to see you. So, should we get this started?

Harold Murphy: Of course Ronnie.

(offscreen, cameras turn on)

HM: RPW fans, please allow me to welcome RPW's newest competitor, "The Ravishing One", Ronnie Reynolds.

RR: Murph, fans, great to see you out here.

HM:Ronnie, we've seen you be successful out in Japan. Why did you accept RPW's contract to wrestle for them?

RR: It's pretty simple Murph. I see the future of American wrestling here, and I plan on being on top.

HM: What are your intentions upon arrival?

RR: Dominate, dominate, dominate. I'll start busting those "boys" up.

HM: So you want to win?

RR: It should be obvious Murph. I hold 10 different championships from all over the world. Get your facts straight.

HM: Moving on, I'm sure you've been scouting the opposition. Which wrestlers have impressed you the most so far?

RR: Nobody. Come on Murph, stop throwing softballs and acting like Gene Okerlund. None of these "wrestlers" - not a single one can hold a candle to me.

HM: Is there anyone you have your sights on?

RR: It's not anyone - it's EVERYTHING. Murph, pass this on to the "wrestlers" you have. All of you better choose now. Either stand aside or get beaten six ways to Sunday, and once I have the gold, get ready to see me defend it and WIN until the end of time. ~ whips off glasses ~ It's simple: You lose, or you get broken. Interview over. And to whoever your champion is - Tell him to enjoy his fleeting title reign. I will break him.

~ Ronnie storms off ~

HM: Looks like our time with the "Ravishing One" just ended up. Thank you all for staying on.