Playing the odds: Who will end up being the WWE mystery return man on tonight's Raw?
The big day is finally here!
Tonight, during the first Raw of the new year, we'll finally find out who has been filming two creepy kids inside a creepy school during some downright creepy weather. Seriously, the environment looks like Seattle on an especially gloomy day. No wonder the creepy kid with a thesaurus is talking about the end of the world, he's probably super depressed.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about -- however impossible that is to believe -- you can get yourself acquainted with the entire series of videos here. Links to them on YouTube had been fading in and out during episodes of Raw for weeks until last Monday's final video straight up aired during the show itself. There are a ton of theories out there, some pretty solid with even a little bit of evidence backing them up and some that are off the wall but still a whole lot of fun.
So before we head to Memphis for tonight's Raw, let's take a little trip to Las Vegas and look at the odds for a handful of the theories as to who is behind the string of mysterious videos.
I'm all in! Hit me! Double up, double down and some other gambling lingo!
Chris Jericho - 2 to 1: Jericho has been denying up and down, left and right on Twitter that he is making no plans on returning to the WWE anytime soon or possibly ever. But you have to take anything Jericho says with a grain of salt since this is the guy who posted a TNA logo on his website a few years back to get people talking about a possible "Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah" invasion of Orlando.
Each time Jericho has popped into the WWE -- back in 1999 and 2007 -- it was on the heels of some kind of countdown or non-traditional marketing plan. His millennium clock was something that any wrestling fan watching at the time will never forget and his "Save Us" viral marketing campaign is somewhat similar to the videos that have been showing up on Raw for the past few weeks.
This smells like Jericho when if he, himself, is trying to waft the scent else.
The Undertaker - 3 to 1: But there's another Superstar that gets the "return video" treatment and it's the other odds on favorite. The Undertaker was subject to a series of return videos set to an awesome Johnny Cash song last year and it's thought by many that the creepy kid with the thesaurus is simply the next year's version.
The only part of the equation that doesn't add up is that last year's videos ended with a full-on shot of The Undertaker while these new videos are still vague as to who the mystery man will be. Last year's videos weren't so much a mystery as they were a slow(ish) burn announcing 'Taker's return.
The themes are very 'Taker like: supernatural forces or powers, an impending judgment day, etc. And the overall spooky dookie feel to each of the videos give credence that it's the "Dead Man" behind them. Plus the last video ending with "The End Begins" helps this theory along as it's pretty much guaranteed that 'Taker will call it quits once he clinches his 20th WrestleMania win.
Shane and Stephanie McMahon - 10 to 1: Without that little girl, this theory holds no water.
But she's there and a female figure doesn't really fit into either Jericho's and Undertaker's return. Sure, 'Taker is married to the now-retired Michelle McCool but that was never acknowledged in a storyline and bringing that up now wouldn't make a whole lot of sense.
A third-generation McMahon coup would be pretty interesting but also a bit nonsensical. When Triple H was still in charge of Raw, it would have clicked that Vince McMahon would send his kids in to take power back but now that John Laurinaitis has essentially done that -- complete with "The Game's" firing by McMahon himself a few months back -- there would be no need for Shane and Stephanie to attempt to seize control. I think the storyline has been -- or at the very least can be -- obvious that ol' Johnny Ace is just a Vince puppet, doing what the big boss wants to do but can't since being forced to step down.
And you can't overlook that fact that Shane resigned a little over two years ago and things are understandably tense between him and his old man. Since then, there hasn't been a sniff of him returning to the fold.
The Shockmaster, Gobbledy Gooker and whoever drove the Hummer in WCW - 100 to 1: It's a longshot but I don't think anyone else on the internet has called it so if it ends up being this Unholy Trinity, I'm going to look like a genius.
Think it will be any of the possibilities mentioned? Maybe a combination of two of them, perhaps? During this past Saturday's The Wrestling Aficionado, my co-host and head of Revival Pro Wrestling Jon Knapik mentioned that while he felt the videos were for Jericho, the girl could be Stephanie McMahon, a theory that our colleague Geno has gotten behind.
Think about it: when Vince McMahon was forced to step down, the board put Triple H in charge, not Stephanie who is Vince's own daughter and has been around the business her entire life. They teased that perhaps she had something to do with Kevin Nash's return but nothing came of it. Next, her husband was also been canned but again, she was passed over for Laurinaitis.
She and Jericho have a history together and I could definitely see her bringing him back to help her get what she feels is rightfully hers: control of the WWE.
Not too shabby a theory if I don't say so myself. We'll find out tonight exactly who will bring about "the end" when Raw airs from Memphis, TN. Remember to join us in the live discussion promptly at 9pm ET/8pm CT!
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How awesome would it be..
If WWe paid Jericho to come out & get everyone in a fit, just to Charlie Brown them.. and then the real person the video was for is a guest on a special one time edition of the Highlight Reel.
Of course it's Jesse the Body Ventura
He’s coming back to destroy the WWE conspiracy theory, it all makes sense now…odds 1000 to 1
"Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho."
Wrestling Inc. wrote this contradictory gem today…
It should be noted that we can confirm Jericho is in Memphis, TN right now. Although we don’t have it 100% confirmed he’ll appear on RAW, we do know he’s in the city of Memphis.
Where's the contradiction?
Gillberg...Gillberg...Gillberg...
by GoForthAndDie on Jan 2, 2012 7:12 PM EST up reply actions
I’m guessing “gem” was to hint at the sarcasm.?
by Rawuncutnxrated on Jan 2, 2012 7:17 PM EST up reply actions
I say it's Vince and his kids
Shane comes in on time to run the network
"I guess I can’t do anything if you’re just irrational, but to point it out and move on."
- fundamentallysound
by J Theory on Jan 2, 2012 6:49 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Raven-if Raven could only stay healthy would be neat-o to keep his Punk fued one last time.
Katie Vick? lol
I would love for some fresh blood and if it is Jericho i wouldn’t get it. The video clearly has a female involved what about an old GF of Punk’s?. This would’ve been cool for McIntyre and Vicki brings him back.
Maybe Edge?
"with a good physique and explosiveness anybody can perform a takedown"
-RoBerto
by Lesnar's striking coach on Jan 2, 2012 7:05 PM EST reply actions
Maybe it's Steph and the Undertaker?
Little bit of a cop out, but it could still work. Steph is trying to take control of the WWE from her husband, Taker is looking for revenge, and it leads directly to Trips/Taker at WM. just something I hadn’t heard from anyone
So go forth, my brethren, and proceed to mark the f*ck out
Spoiler
These TWO were captured leaving the Memphis airport earlier today. I guess this would make the most sense, in light of the promos. Glad to see these two deserving stars return.

I may feel really dumb right now is that John Morrison and Melina?
"with a good physique and explosiveness anybody can perform a takedown"
-RoBerto
by Lesnar's striking coach on Jan 2, 2012 7:10 PM EST up reply actions
I'd have to see that picture from behind to confirm
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!" Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.
AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 458 posts (08/24/11)
3rd Place- 2011 AAOP Contest | 1st place- 2012 AAOP Contest
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Jan 2, 2012 7:22 PM EST up reply actions
Its Melina.. but that can’t be Morrison.. there’s no leash in her hand.
by Rawuncutnxrated on Jan 2, 2012 7:23 PM EST up reply actions
So you are saying
It might be Sting?
Yanks are the Empire. Red Sox are the Empire with PR claiming they are the Rebellion.
Hmmm it might make sense.
Does anyone know if Abyss is a free agent?
"with a good physique and explosiveness anybody can perform a takedown"
-RoBerto
by Lesnar's striking coach on Jan 2, 2012 7:14 PM EST up reply actions
Never thought about Vince/Stephanie
Probably because this isn’t the sort of lead-in to their return you’d expect.
Gillberg...Gillberg...Gillberg...
I wouldn’t see why they’d invest so much into an angle involving no true pay off. I just don’t see how this sells Mania.
"with a good physique and explosiveness anybody can perform a takedown"
-RoBerto
by Lesnar's striking coach on Jan 2, 2012 7:17 PM EST up reply actions
If you ever really wondered why..
you should wear a cup at all times… ask Monte Ball who took a helmet right to his saxophones. YaaaaaaaaOuuuuuuuuuch
Batista?!
The dude has been taking shots at WWE for awhile now, insulting the show and the PG era and whatnot. That could certainly be a work.
Steph could be bringing him in to do her dirty work for something?!
…or hell, maybe, Linda is over this whole “running for office” thing and she’s going to be the one to bring Shane-O-Mac back?!
I was thinking Linda myself
There has to be some cleaning up the clusterfuck after MITB of last year. Nash-HHH-Laurinits debacle.
"with a good physique and explosiveness anybody can perform a takedown"
-RoBerto
by Lesnar's striking coach on Jan 2, 2012 7:23 PM EST up reply actions
I know who it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
The Raw GM is finally revealed!!!!!!! Its the computer from War Games.
You obviously missed the sequel
Joshua died in that one. So it cant be him.
Yanks are the Empire. Red Sox are the Empire with PR claiming they are the Rebellion.
And Vince McMahon survived his limo blowing up
Gillberg...Gillberg...Gillberg...
by GoForthAndDie on Jan 2, 2012 7:40 PM EST up reply actions
They made a sequel uh? And someone actually watched it?
Just remember D.A.V.E. escaped from Arkham Asylum.. he downloaded himself. So maybe Joshua lives. Maybe Joshua got himself a human form & showed up in Lethal Weapon 2, that guy seemed like a machine, letting people burn him w/ a lighter & all.
by Rawuncutnxrated on Jan 2, 2012 7:53 PM EST up reply actions
Steph and Jericho make no sense due to the fact Jericho is the Jobber to the stars meaning no threat to Trips. Steph and Taker make total sense. Trips was bragging Taker hasn’t been seen since WM, he ended the career of his best friend and vowed to be waiting when Taker came back on Raw after their match. Who better to represent her in claiming her rightful spot than Taker. We all also know this is Takers last run up to Mania. The End Begins makes sense with Taker where it didn’t with Jericho. But this is WWE creative so it’s probably Jericho…lol
My money's still on Chyna and Sean Waltman
this has been me “Just sayin’”
Since you got extra cash to piss away..
Mind kickin’ in on my twitter drinking funds?
by Rawuncutnxrated on Jan 2, 2012 7:51 PM EST up reply actions
Your liver sends me e-mails, they all start out the same...
“SAVE ME!!!!!”
Believe me.. the liver is a LOT more worried about the painkillers than the booze.
by Rawuncutnxrated on Jan 2, 2012 8:06 PM EST up reply actions
perhaps.
he could buy Brodus Clay a gimmick first
by Flyingtoasterpiledriver on Jan 2, 2012 8:54 PM EST via Android app up reply actions



















