(Views are exaggerated from my actual views, of course. I, like most, am actually finding Johnny Ace to be getting more endearing in his badness. Also...1200+ words. Whoa. Didn't think I had it in me.)
You all might not know this about the Shadowbird, but I am just a tiny bit of a loose cannon. I say what I feel, and I tend to have issues with authority. Granted, I'm no Stone Cold, but if an authority figure tries to challenge my sense of logic and reason, I will give them what for just as I would anyone else. It doesn't matter who you are or how high up on the chain you are, I'll call you out.
Now you're probably wondering why I'd be so blunt about this, why I'd be so willing to express an open disdain for authority. It's quite simple really. Right now, I think it's about time someone called an authority figure out that has been long overdue for a callout. This man has been abusing his power ever since the day it was given to him! Not only has he been firing wrestlers seemingly without cause, but he has inserted himself into their jobs directly by taking up the mantle of Raw's general manager. He's even been deliberately refusing to exert his power in place where he should be acting, and such inaction has made WWE even worse for it. You guess it: it's time to serve against Johnny Ace himself, John Laurinaitis.
Mr. Laurinaitis is the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, as you well know; God knows he won't shut up about it. He also usurped the role of Raw GM from Chief Operations Officer Triple H in what some analysts refer to as a dick move, although to be fair, Trips wasn't exactly the best of bosses either. But let's not get into that now. Instead, let's look at J-Ace in recent months, shall we? He rehired Miz and R-Truth because...did he ever really explain why? He liked the chaos they created? Truth helped him score some top-grade Spice? I dunno. Most recently, he's also taken it upon himself to insert himself into CM Punk's affairs. Granted, that's semi-justified by the fact that Punk's another guy who's gone on record as being anti-establishment, but consider this: Laurinaitis' involvement with CM Punk prior to the last couple of weeks was, well...non-existent. In fact, since his tenure as GM began, aside from a brief section at the beginning where he dealt with Punk and Nash, most of his attention was focused elsewhere. It's like someone reminded him, "Hey, you know that Punk guy? You know, the one who's our WWE Champion again? The one who is deliberately subversive and insubordinate? He still could be trouble."
What makes matters worse is that I don't think he's doing this of his own volition at all. His methodology might be be his own design, but I don't think he's acting independently at all. Everything about him, with the exception of his botches, indicates that he's merely the Dragon to some unknown Big Bad. Maybe it's Vince McMahon, hell, maybe it's Linda McMahon for all we know, but he's not his own man for sure. Now, I could maybe forgive his actions if it was all him, but given that thought, I don't think I can. He seems to be acting in what whoever his boss is thinks is the company's best interests, even when they're very clearly not. Hiring back rogue elements who can't even be a thorn in the side of a rose, undermining one of your company's top guys? Whoever your boss is, "Big Johnny", he's either insane or just plain stupid.
But that's not even the worst thing this boy has done. Monday night, Michael Cole mentioned that Ace texted him to let him know that he's doing a superb job on commentary and to keep up the good work. ...Does Laurinaitis need his hearing checked? As I've mentioned before, Cole's done nothing but run down the other top guy in the company among others, and he's hijacked shows for the sake of his own self-glorification! And Johnny congratulates him for this!? Again assuming he's working for the company's best interests, that alone suggests that the Executive Miami Vice of Don Johnson is incompetent at his job.
Look at the numbers, folks. Both Raw and Smackdown are slumping. Part of it's been because of football, including last Monday night game of over-hyped importance, but then again, some blame has to be given to the ones in control. And there's been no authority figure more visible than Mr. John Laurinaitis. And I won't even get into the Broadus Clay fiasco; how he left the man off TV deliberately for weeks only for him to come back as...whatever the hell he came back as; I can't even describe it. To be honest, that what-the-frackery speaks for itself. The only good decision that one can say he did make was to replace the referee for Punk's title match at the Rumble with Dolph Ziggler, and even that's diminished by the fact that he replaced the ref with himself. "Going to be impartial", Johnny Ace? Yeah, I believe that like I believe we're going to get a good president out of this year's election.
Now, I'm a solutions-oriented guy, so I'm not going to leave this a straight-up bash session. Things can be fixed, and there's still time to redeem yourself, Mr. Excitement. First off, if you really want to work for the best interests of this company, you need to realize one thing: you don't work for whatever madman you're running errands for. As a publicly-traded company and an entertainment-based one at that, you really work for the public. That means, you work for the WWE Universe. You give them matches they want to see, and you stay the hell out of the way of them. Two: You need to do something about this Michael Cole situation. As any fan or member of the WWE locker room will tell you, he ain't doin' a heckuva job, Brownie. At least, not unless you stick "bad" in there before "job". Third and finally: don't go firing people because creative has nothing for them to do; encourage them to make their own way. Some of the biggest stars in wrestling, both in the past and in the present, have either created or stumbled upon their winning personas themselves. Guys like Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena (yes, I'm praising him for once), Chris Jericho, and even CM Punk got themselves over largely of their own efforts or started their rise because of something they discovered. This way, you will also weed out the pretenders from the contenders; after all, cream rises to the top, as the saying goes.
If you persist on continuing down this path you're on, though, the people who hate Johnny Ace will only hate you more, and you'll find yourself with bigger problems than one lone Straight-Edger or one solitary Dark Soldier. Hell, even the people who tolerate you will eventually find your act tired, and you'll end up making more enemies than friends. In the wrestling business, that is not a place you want to be, Laurinaitis. If you want to be remembered as a good authority figure, take to heart what you have just learned. Otherwise, I'll see you when you fall into shadows...Johnny.