What does it take to get fired from TNA?

by bensix on Sep 10, 2011 11:13 AM EDT

Edited and promoted to the front page by Cageside Seats.

Dear Ms. Carter,

I'd like to apply for a job at your estimable promotion, Impact Wrestling. Critics have said that I'm more charismatic than Rob Terry, more agile than Hulk Hogan and younger than Ric Flair. I'm sure I'd be suitable as a babyface or a member of Immortal. (And, hey, if you're not impressed by my performance in one role we can shift them around in a week or so. Who’ll remember?)

There are a few issues I should be upfront about. Firstly, I might have a teensy-weensy drinking problem. (Or "solution" as the wags are calling it!) On the other hand, I'd like to make it clear that I've been arrested once while driving under the influence, and, as far as I can tell, Impact Wrestling operates by a "three strikes and you're out for a week" rule.

Then there are the drugs. Yeah, okay, I'll admit it - I'm awaiting trial after the po' po' found some pi' pills in my house. I swear, though: I'm innocent! I mean, who knows what’s in their medicine cabinet these days? Ibuprofen? Vicodin? Cocaine? I'm no scientist, I just grab whatever's there and go. I promise that my, er - indulgences aren't going to affect my work. Even if they do I'll make sure it's a house show that I spoil; a non-title match on a pay-per-view at worst. And if -- God forbid -- someone's injured, they'll have insurance, amirite?

I've heard that you've asked some performers to go to rehab. Well, no offense, Dixie, but that seems a bit presumptuous. I mean, who are you to say what your employees should and shouldn’t do? Look, if after all of these assurances you're still unwilling to believe I'm healthy, here's a video of me electrocuting a woman. Satisfied?

Anyway, I hope you'll be impressed by my application. If I get the job I promise not to let you down. (And if I do I hope I'll be granted a second chance. And a third. And a fourth. And, er - so on.)

Yours,

BenSix

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.

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it takes

being injured …… because they seem to drop injured people quick.

J✈E✈T✈S✈ JETS! ✈JETS! ✈JETS!

by SLAUGHTERHOUSE on Sep 10, 2011 9:48 AM EDT reply actions

Who truly knows?

They only fire Diva’s and X Division guys they know WWE won’t ever hire! Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy are both a disaster and TNA won’t ever release them. Why? because they’d go straight into WWE rehab for 4-5 months and be ready for Wrestlemania 28 that’s why. This is a company that has let contracted talent go into WWE sponsored rehab(Scott Hall) before so why won’t they force Jeff Hardy and Angle to go to rehab? WWE will pay for it either way so it’s not like Dixie has to pay anything. TNA could easily say we are not paying you or promoting you or allowing you to wrestle or allowing you to do outside projects until you go to rehab and finish the program. Why won’t they do that? I say they won’t because they are scared to death that a healthy Angle and Hardy would jump to WWE in a heartbeat.

My feeling about TNA right now is this; I believe in the two years we are going to see an exodus of talent going to WWE. Joe, Morgan, Bobby Roode and Beer Money all have been heavily rumored to be jumping or interested in jumping. A guy like AJ Styles is a possibility too. The young guys in TNA need to think it through and maybe make a ‘Radicalz’ move to the WWE. Sure there will be politics in WWE but guess what, two of the Radicalz became World Champions and Main Eventers. Dean Malenko is still with the company 10 years later.

TNA’s young talent has to stop being psyched out by the ‘WWE is full of politics’ line and go for it because they are only getting older and the now know for a fact that TNA isn’t giving them any kind of chance to carry that company. WWE is looking for guys so make a move! Joe, Roode, Beer Money, AJ styles can all take their careers in their own hands if they band together like the Radicalz did.

Freedom is a road seldom traveled by the multitudes...

by Major on Sep 10, 2011 10:43 AM EDT reply actions

X division guys are in the driver's seat atm

They’re the best thing going in TNA, and they’re also WWEs admitted weakness.

Release...the KITTIES!

by GoForthAndDie on Sep 10, 2011 1:46 PM EDT up reply actions

I wouldn't be surprised if that's been one of Triple H's quieter moves

Namely, privately putting out feelers and signs of interest, with it just getting reported as the wrestler in question being interested in going to WWE.

by Chortles on Sep 10, 2011 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions

Why the WWE "allowed" TNA to trounce them when it comes to Tag Teams and Lightweight guys, I don't get

Outside of those two things, I think TNA would crumble under it’s own weight. The quality of their tag team division and their lightweight division are the two bright spots that I give TNA credit for. TNA isn’t much of a competitor to WWE as much as they are an annoying gnat in their peripheral vision, but I don’t understand why Vince never gave them the death knell. Not that, under their current management and style, they’re ever going to, but the WWF was once the annoying fly that the WCW wasn’t able to swat.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!" Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 458 posts (08/24/11)
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by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Sep 10, 2011 11:52 PM EDT up reply actions

Eh

Russo killed the X Division and the tag division is dying with three teams in Mexican America at the top and the British Ivasion(who rarely are on Impact) and Devon and Pope who teamed up this week with no explaination on Impact. It’s a far cry from the days of AMW, Triple X, The Naurals, Team 3D, McMG and other teams.

by graves9 on Sep 11, 2011 4:30 PM EDT up reply actions