Okay, I'm not hitting up Luby's Cafeteria for the Early Bird Special nor am I in danger of getting my driver's license taken away but I'm almost thirty, got myself a little family, and my biggest issue isn't what new adult toy to buy -- be it cell phone, flat-screen, or some other brand new tech gizmo -- but what my daughter is going to be for Halloween.
That being said, my old age has some perks and advantages. I can say, "Back in my day..." and not look like a complete tool. I never get carded at the movie theater or the liquor store. And I also have over two decades of wrestling fandom and first-hand knowledge swimming inside my brain.
I saw Shawn Michaels throwing his Rockers partner, Marty Jannetty, through the window of The Barbershop. I can tell you in explicit detail what happened when Rick Rude tried to get fresh with Jake Roberts' wife. And I will never forget how I felt when I found out Owen Hart died.
I've been around the professional wrestling block a few times, longer than any ring rat -- excluding Missy Hyatt -- and have run the gauntlet through the hills and valleys. I remember when Diesel was the WWF World Champion in the mid-90s, I remember when Kevin Nash showed up on WCW Nitro in 1996. The latter was fantastic but the former was pretty mundane.
I don't have knowledge of that because I saw the Monday Night Wars DVD or because I read reports online. I remember because I'm old and I saw it happen. That's a luxury that young wrestling fans don't have. That stuff happened over a decade ago; they would have been in diapers.
And yet here we are, with Kevin Nash as a main player on WWE RAW. It's something no one asked for and certainly didn't want.
So why do we have it?
I can't help but place the blame solely on Triple H.
He and Nash have been pals for years now and I can't see Vince McMahon clamoring to bring back "Big Daddy Cool," who was one of the worst drawing champions in modern history. Triple H -- with buddies Nash, Scott Hall, and Shawn Michaels -- pretty much held political sway over the booking in the early to mid-90s. They effectively controlled the main event scene and helped run Shane Douglas and Bam Bam Bigelow out of the WWF.
And it seems they're at it again.
Nash's list of cons is plentiful: he isn't a proven draw (the only time he did draw was during the early days of the NWO), he has a litany of past injuries and heart issues, and is closer to 100-years of age than he is birth.
His list of pros?
If you can name something, I'd love to hear it. I've exhausted all possibilities and simply can't fathom why Nash was brought in when the role of "guy who runs in, interferes, and beats up Triple H" could have been taken over by someone the WWE already had on the payroll and could actually elevate, like Wade Barrett or Ezekiel Jackson.
They could have even called up Seth Rollins -- Tyler Black from Ring of Honor (ROH) -- or have Claudio Castagnoli bypass the Florida Championship Wrestling (FCW) development system altogether and have him debut.
But why would any of these men attack Triple H? It's wrestling, come up with an excuse. Say they were hired by "someone." We all know that storyline-wise John Laurinaitis -- and possibly Vince McMahon -- are pulling the strings and are behind "The Game" being ousted as RAW General Manager. This would only serve to fuel those theories.
I'm old. I remember when Kevin Nash was cool. But that was a long time ago. A lifetime, really, for a pro wrestling fan. A 15-year old WWE fan couldn't care less about "Big Sexy." They have no emotional connection to him.
They (the young fans) don't care. We (the old fans) don't like it.
But the WWE decides to waste time -- nearly half an hour last night alone -- on Kevin Nash.