Be sure to check out tonight's live blog of the biggest Royal Rumble ever on right here on Cageside Seats!
Full disclosure: This is the first non-Wrestlemania WWE pay-per-view I have bought in close to four years. I am a chronic streamer that was swayed to purchase with the news that the "Silver Fox" Kevin Nash will most likely be a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble. I am not ashamed to admit that he is part of my pantheon of professional wrestling.
Possible dicussion points: Will Nash come out as himself or Diesel? Will he come out to the nWo music, Wolf Pac music or 'Diesel Blues?' Did he dye his hair? How will they safely eliminate him from the match?
FULL COVERAGE AFTER THE JUMP!
EDGE retained the World Heavyweight Championship over Dolph Ziggler via CHICANERY!
THE MIZ retained the WWE Championship over Randy Orton via CM PUNK's GO 2 SLEEP!
EVE wins the WWE Divas Championship after pinning Layla in a DIVA FATAL FOUR WAY via a MOONSAULT!
ALBERTO DEL RIO wins the BIGGEST ROYAL RUMBLE EVER after eliminating Santino.
- Edge and Dolph Ziggler are up first. This is Dolph's chance to prove that he belongs with the big boys in the WWE. Who would've thought that he would ever get to this point? Not me!
- A slight "Let's Go Ziggler" chant. I like!
- Pretty good start to the match. The Boston crowd seems to be hot tonight. Hopefully they can keep it up.
- Edge counters Ziggler's running rocker dropper with a sitout powerbomb. TIGHT!
- This crowd is super hot for Ziggler's near falls.
- Stipulations be damned! Edge uses the Spear while the ref and Vicki Guerro were out cold and then sent a shout-out to his main man Christian by using the Unprettier to pick up the victory. Good opener that was aided by a very hot crowd. I think Ziggler acquitted himself quite nicely on the biggest stage of his career thus far.
- Miz and Randy Orton are up next. Let's see if Boston can stay hot through CHIN LOCKS~!
- Orton starts off in typical Orton fashion with lots of stomps and punches. His offensive moveset is just not babyface friendly. Alex Riley interferes on behalf of Miz and the Boston crowd approves.
- Miz hits his "slide through the corner ring rope clothesline" and gets two.
- LOTS of punching and kicking.
- "MIZ IS AWESOME" - Boston.
- Michael Cole informs us that people sometimes confuse Miz's kindness for weakness.
- Miz counters Orton's hanging DDT with a back body drop over the top rope to the floor! Pretty cool.
- Miz gives Orotn a taste of his own rest hold medicine with a modified camel clutch. Too bad he didn't break Orton's back and humble him.
- Orton hits his snap powerslam and then the Garvin Stomps...but only gets two! Crowd is good but not as hot for this match as the opener but that was expected I think.
- Orton busts out the Angle Slam after powering out of a Skull Crushing Finale attempt. Miz tried to leave with the belt but the WWE's APEX PREDATOR stopped him from doing so.
- Just as Orton begins to measure up Miz for a RKO the New Nexus appears! What are they doing here?!?!?!
- Orton is about to win but CM PUNK appears from under the ring and hits him with the GTS! He pulls a Miz on top of Orton and the Miz retains! The Miz retains! Michael Cole is excited!
- CODY RHODES issues a statement regarding his shattered face. He says his career is in jeopardy due to Rey Mysterio's actions. Awesome.
- Some fan says Kofi Kingston is going to win the Royal Rumble because he is very energetic. Okay then.
- Laycool vs. Natalya time. Big fan of Layla's work.
- Anonymous RAW general manager decrees that this match will now be a FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH! Instead of AWESOME KONG we get Eve. Eh.
- Natalya monkey flips Layla into McCool. That was kind of cool.
- LAYCOOL IS EXPLODING....or not.
- DOUBLE SHARPSHOOTER on Eve and Layla for like two seconds until McCool breaks up the submission.
- Natalya yells a lot while King quips that the Michinoku Driver reminds him of the car he looked at the other day.
- Eve wins the Divas Championship via moonsault and the crowd goes...meh.
- Daniel Bryan, Gail Kim and the Bellas share a moment backstage. Last night I was watching a Bryan vs. AJ Styles match from a 2003 ROH show. Now I'm watching him on the second or third biggest WWE PPV of the year. Awesome.
- "The Miz would make a great Revolutionary War hero." - Michael Cole.
- This is going to get messy. Bare with me! CM PUNK is the first man out. Tough draw for him. THE CORRE ARE SURROUNDING THE RING! AND HERE COMES NEXUS! RULES BE DAMNED! GANG WARFARE! Annnnnd the anonymous RAW GM chimes in stating that the Corre and Nexus must leave the ring or get DQ'd. TIME FILLER! DANIEL BRYAN is number two. 90 seconds of awesome wrestling coming up! One geek in the crowd is yelling, "Let's go Dragon" while Striker notes that the internet loves this matchup. Bryan tries to eliminate Punk but no go. The crowd is behind both of these guys big time with dueling chants. JUSTIN GABRIEL is in at number three and goes right at Punk. GABRIEL attempts the 450 splash but Punk rolls out of the way...and Bryan eliminates Gabriel with a back suplex! Thanks for coming, Justin! ZACK RYDER is the fourth man in. He goes right at Bryan and gives CM Punk a face wash! Striker notes that Ryder has the Nasty Boys trunks on and just moments later he gets eliminated by Bryan with a hip toss! Punk tries to eliminate Bryan just as William Regal enters at number five! He goes right at his protege of sorts, Daniel Bryan and then works over CM Punk. EUROPEAN UPPERCUTS APLENTY between Bryan and Regal. Crowd gives it the "boo" "yay" treatment. TED DIBIASE, JR is number six! He slow jogs down to the ring and gets his offense in on Bryan, Regal and Punk. Bryan kicking the hell out of Regal! while DiBiase attempts to eliminate Punk but Bryan saves him. HERE COMES JOHN MORRISON AT NUMBER SEVEN! BIG POP! PARKOUR PARKOUR PARKOUR! MORRISON WITH A C4 ON BRYAN! SWEET! HOLY CRAP! REGAL SHOVES JOHN MORRISON OFF THE APRON BUT HE LANDS ON THE BARRIER AND THEN JUMPS TO THE STEPS! HIS FEET NEVER HIT THE FLOOR!!!!!! Regal was eliminated while that utter awesomeness was going on. Yoshi Tatsu is in at eight. Wonder what the odds are for him to win this Rumble. Lot of punching and kicking with no real action but that should change as NEW NEXUS MEMBER HUSKY HARRIS IS IN AT NINE! Punk has some protection now but everyone goes after Harris while hides in the corner. Number 10 is CHAVITO! He goes right at Punk and then hits two of the Three Amigos on Ted DiBiase, CM Punk and Morrison and then the complete Three Amigos on Daniel Bryan. That was his Royal Rumble Moment~!!!
Big Mark Henry is the 11th man in. Chavo tries to hit a flying cross body block off the top rope but Henry catches him and dumps him over the top rope. Yoshi Tatsu attacks Henry but gets clotheselined over the top rope for his trouble. JTG is the 12th man in. Husky Harris tries to eliminate Daniel Bryan but Bryan manages to sneak his way back in under the bottom rope. NUMBER 13 IS MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY! CM Punk has two members of the New Nexus in the ring now to protect him. Intriguing! McGillicutty eliminates JTG with a single leg dropkick. Bryan just stiffed the hell out of Punk with a running drop kick! HUSKY HARRIS dumps Ted DiBiase just as Chris Masters enters the Rumble at number 14. He hits a sweet spinebuster on McGillicutty and almost eliminates CM Punk with a Master Lock. Punk and Bryan have been in for just over 20 minutes at this point. Number 15 is David Otunga! The New Nexus is running wild right now! Daniel Bryan is eliminated and Chris Masters quickly follows as the New Nexus is like a pack of WILD DOGS~! They gang up on John Morrison and eliminate him as well! It's Nexus against Mark Henry right now...and they eliminate him! Punk's plan is coming to fruition! Tyler Reks is the 16th man in but he is quickly jumped on by the New Nexus and is quickly sent packing. KOZLOV is out at 17 but he can't handle the mauling tactics of the New Nexus. It's all about survival at this point for one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions but, alas, he can't do it as CM Punk dumps him over the top after a Husky Harris running senton bomb. WHAT'S UP? R-Truth is 18 in but, once again, quickly gets jumped by CM Punk and his cronies. CM Punk hits his running knee and follows it up with the bulldog out of the corner. THE GREAT KHALI is number 19 and could possibly be the one to hold of Nexus. KHALIMANIA IS RUNNING WILD! KHALI eliminates HUSKY HARRIS and immediately begins to stalk Punk. MASON RYAN is number 20 and let's see how WELSHTISTA stacks up. He acquits himself well as he eliminates Khali after dodging a clothesline attempt.
BOOKER T AT 21! YES YES YES YES YES! CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA! Booker T runs roughshod over the New Nexus, hitting the Bookend on McGillicutty and the Axe Kick on Otunga followed by the SPINAROONI! Unfortunately, Booker T is dumped by Ryan but provided possibly the highlight of this Rumble so far. Here comes CENA at 22. There goes Nexus, most likely. Annnd I was right as Cena quickly eliminated all of Punk's stooges. Punk goes for the GTS but Cena powers out. They cancel themselves out with a double clothesline as HORNSWOGGLE enters at 23. That beard is weird. Horny mocks Punk but takes a butt bump for his efforts. "Hornswoggle, how my ass taste?" - CM Punk. The Punker's quest for the Wrestlemania main event is over as Cena gives him the FU over the top rope. Cena and Hornswoggle have formed some sort of team as they work over the 24th entrant, Tyson Kidd. 'Swoggle hits the tilt-a-whirl headscissors and then executes the AA to Tyson Kidd before Cena unceremoniously dumps him over the top rope. Jesus H. Christ. HEATH SLATER is the 25th entrant and gets two flying shoulder tackles for his trouble from Cena and then a Stone Cold Stunner from Swoggle. STEREO YOU CAN' T SEE ME! TADPOLE SPLASH! I'm actually okay with this. Slater is out as Cena throws him over the top rope. CONTROLLED FRENZY KOFI KINGSTON is the 26th man into the ring and all three wrestlers look bummed out. Cena and Kofi look at the WrestleMania sign and then lock up. Jack Swagger is lucky number 27 tonight and he quickly lays out both Cena and Kingston while Hornswoggle stands in the background. Swagger stalks 'Swoggle but gets flying bodypressed by Kingston. Kofi uses Hornswoggle as a step stool to deliver is flying legdrop. Sheamus is number 28 and delivers the Irish Curse Backbreaker to Cena. 'Swoggle and Sheamus square off which leads to Sheamus tuning up the band to deliver Sweet Chin Music. Cena delivers the Protobomb to Sheamus but gets jumped from behind by Swagger. Sheamus gives Hornswoggle a Brough Kick that knocks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor. REY REY is 29 and takes on all comers. Cole notes this is the latest he has ever entered the Rumble. TROUBLE IN PARADISE to Sheamus! Swagger gets hit with a modified 619 that knocks him off the apron to the floor! WADE BARRETT is in at 30. If this were any other year this would be awesome for him but this is THE BIGGEST ROYAL RUMBLE EVER.
DOLPH ZIGGLER is in at 31! Everyone sans Ziggler and Sheamus gang up on Barrett in an attempt to eliminate him but it doesn't happen. Ziggler then spearheads an attempt to eliminate Cena which gets a pop from the Boston crowd. DIESEL IS 32! yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!! THE SILVER FOX BE DAMNED! DIESEL chants as he works over Cena. Drew McIntyre is the 33rd man in as he and Sheamus team up to work over Diesel. HUGE "LET'S GO DIESEL" chants from the Boston crowd. THIS IS AWESOME. Diesel is laid out on the middle ring rope...Barrett irish whips Mysterio and Rey Rey hits the 619 on Nash. ALEX RILEY comes in at 34 and goes right at Cena. WADE BARRETT eliminates Diesel and the crowd is NOT happy. Diesel still getting a lot of love from the crowd just standing at ring side. THE BIG SHOW is in at 35 and stares down Diesel as they meet on the ramp. WrestleMania match right there?? Show clowns everyone that attacks him and casually tosses Dolph Ziggler over the top rope. BIG ZEKE is in at 36 and comes out to his own music instead of The Corre's. Alex Riley is casually eliminated by Drew while Zeke eliminates Show before laying everyone out with LARIATOS. SANTINO is in at 37 and attacks Ezekiel...not a good idea on his part. The official Royal Rumble statistician notes that Cena has been in the match for more than 25 minutes at this point. ALBERTO DEL RIO is in at 38 and STILL gets his full ring entrance. Will he fulfill his destiny and win the Rumble? Not if Rey Rey has anything to say about it. Del Rio is taking forever to get down to the ring, pulling a page out of the Repo Man's playbook. RANDY ORTON is in at 39 and Del Rio has still not entered the ring. Orton jumps him on the ramp and then hands out RKOs to everyone in the match before eliminating Kofi Kingston and Sheamus is rapid succession. Orton and Cena have a staredown for the one millionth time in WWE history. KANE is in at number 40! But I thought HHH was a DEFINITE tonight?!?!?
Kane, Orton, Cena, Del Rio, Barrett, Big Zeke and Rey Rey are all left in the match. The wily Kane ducks an Ezekiel Jackson lariat attempt and The Corre member's momentum takes him over the top rope. KANE gets eliminated after Rey Mysterio counters Kane's chokeslam attempt with a hurracanrana over the top rope. Barrett quickly knocks Mysterio over the top rope and we are down to the final foul! Barrett tries to eliminate Cena and has him teetering on the apron but can't seal the deal! ANOTHER Orton-Cena staredown. Sweet. Cena has Orton up for the AA but Barrett interjects himself into the proceedings. Cena eventually hits Del Rio with the AA...ALEX RILEY comes down to the ring and distracts Cena long enough for THE MIZ to shove him over the top rope! Haha! Barrett and Del Rio team up on Orton but how long will the fragile partnership last?!?!? Orton gets his mojo back and has Del Rio lined up for an RKO...but Barrett interferes and gets tossed by Orton AND THEN DEL RIO TOSSES ORTON FROM BEHIND! OH WAIT! SANTINO IS STILL IN THE MATCH!!!!!!!!!! HE HAS THE COBRA READY TO GO AND HITS IT! IT'S ALL FOR NAUGHT, THOUGH ,AS DEL RIO WINS THE RUMBLE AGAIN AFTER TOSSING SANTINO!
This wasn't the best pay-per-view I have ever seen but I certainly do not regret paying for it. Very entertaining from top to bottom.