The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Monday Night Raw 09.13.2010

Raw Results: The Abridged Version
- The Raw Roulette Wheel determined that John Cena and Randy Orton would compete in a tables match.
- The Anonymous Raw GM allowed Chad Ochocinco to choose an opponent for The Miz in a submission match. Chad chose Daniel Bryan.
- The Miz withdrew from his match with Daniel Bryan due to a "hernia" but selected his apprentice Alex Riley to replace him. Bryan submitted him with the LeBell Lock.
- Jillian Hall and Edge were hanging back by the Raw Roulette Wheel. Hilarity ensued.
- Edge defeated Evan Bourne in a bodyslam challenge match. The Anonymous Raw GM then sanctioned a second bodyslam challenge only this time Edge's opponent was Mark Henry. Henry won rather easily after hitting Edge with the World's Strongest Slam.
- R-Truth and Eve defeated Ted DiBiase and Maryse in a Song and Dance Match. Yep.
- The Raw Roulette Wheel determined that William Regal and Goldust would face each other in a trading places match, meaning Regal would have to dress up like Goldust and vice versa.
- The Wheel willed Sheamus and John Morrison to meet in a falls count anywhere match. 
- Zack Ryder, Edge and Sheamus discussed Edge's plan to win the WWE Title at Night of Champions and then holdout.
- John Morrison displayed his proficiency at parkour backstage. Seriously.
- Sheamus defeated John Morrison in a falls count anywhere match after Chris Jericho hit Morrison with a brutal chairshot to the back~! The humanity!
- Chris Jericho then took said chair and staged a sit in. The anonymous GM said that he would put Jericho back in the Six Pack Challenge - now an elimination match - if he defeated The Hart Dynasty in a handicap steel cage match.
- Chris Jericho defeated The Hart Dynasty in a handicap steel cage match after making Tyson Kidd submit to the Walls of Jericho.
- Goldust defeated William Regal via the Power of the Punch in a Trading Places match.
- Randy Orton defeated John Cena after countering the Attitude Adjustment with the RKO through a table. Nexus, Chris Jericho, Edge and Sheamus all interfered in the match and all were dealt with rather swiftly.

The Good

• Chad Ochocinco / The Miz - I was a little worried about tonight's opening segment  as Chad Ochocinco seemed to be a nervous addressing the live crowd. That all changed once The Miz made his way down to the ring as they had a pretty natural chemistry. Some of the insults Miz threw Chad's way were priceless, none moreso than, "What does the number 85 represent? The number of good passes you're going to drop this season?" I'm a pretty staunch opponent of guest hosts on Raw but these are the types of guys that make it work - charismatic individuals who actually know a thing or two about the product.

More after the jump!

• Sheamus vs. John Morrison - Finally, an honest to God wrestling match on Monday Night Raw! It only took a little over an hour for it to happen. Unlike the falls count anywhere match that went down between Abyss and Rhino a few weeks ago at No Surrender this match actually lived up to the stipulation. Morrison looked like a star as he was able to go toe to toe with the WWE Champion. I really thought he was going to win the match to get Sunday's main event back to a Six Pack Challenge but it wasn't meant to be as Chris Jericho interfered on behalf of the champion. Morrison's leap from the smaller part of the Titantron was pretty cool looking and probably the most death defying move we'll see in the PG-era of the WWE. I feel like I've said this after every time Morrison has a good match against a top name but hopefully this is the start of something bigger for The Monday Night Delight. He can't speak well but he can definitely put on a good wrestling match. That has to count for something, right?
• Raw is Jericho - Jericho's crusade against the anonymous Raw GM picked up even more steam this week as he staged a sit-in protest. The GM then agreed to put Jericho back into the main event at Night of Champions if he was able to win a steel cage handicap match against The Hart Dynasty. Jericho is truly an ace on the microphone as he really made the segment entertaining. I am really hoping they continue on developing this storyline between Edge/Chris Jericho and the anonymous GM. It's probably the most entertaining non-Nexus story on Raw at the moment.

The Bad

• Raw Roulette - This gimmick is easily one of the laziest booking devices in professional wrestling. Cole and King kept pimping the fact that this is the first time in three years that they've played Raw Roulette as if people actually missed this terrible gimmick. Are we really supposed to believe that the stipulations and opponents haven't already been picked? It's an easy way to slap a few matches together without having to worry about whether or not they actually make sense in terms of current storylines. It sucked when WCW used it for Halloween Havoc and it still sucks today. John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a tables match, you say? I'LL BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! The Miz wrestling Daniel Bryan in a submission match? No way. Wow. Oh, the match was non-title? Huh. A bodyslam challenge match between Edge and Evan Bourne? Oh my! William Regal has to dress like Goldust? YOU DON'T SAY!
  
• Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz Alex Riley - These matches served no other purpose than to advance the Miz/Daniel Bryan storyline. I was really hoping we would get a chance to see Bryan work an extended match but it looks like we'll have to tune in to Night Of Champions to see what he is a made of. Pretty predictable booking as there is no way that The Miz would lose clean to Bryan just a few days before their big title match. If the WWE holds true to its booking formula then it looks like The Miz will retain the United States Championship this Sunday as Bryan ultimately got the last laugh tonight after locking Miz in the LeBell Lock. I'd like to be wrong though. The actual wrestling wasn't too bad but there was only about a minute of in-ring action.
• A Handicap Steel Cage Match? - Really weird stipulations for this match. BOTH members of The Hart Dynasty had to escape or be eliminated which actually put the odds in Jericho's favor if you think about it logically and rationally. This match ultimately made the WWE Tag Team Champions look terrible as a not-ready-to-compete Chris Jericho was able to defeat them. I love seeing Jericho win as much as the next Jerichoholic but I really wonder why this victory had to come at the expense of the tag team champions. Seems kind of counterintuitive to me. Tyson was able to keep up with Jericho in the ring but even that wasn't enough to save the segment.
• John Cena and Randy Orton Collide in a Tables~! Match - Boooooooooooooooooooooooring. Cole said something along the lines of, "This is the first time Cena and Orton have faced off in 2010" yet it still feels like I have seen this match about a million times. I think Cena and Orton are both able to work entertaining matches against the right opponent but it's pretty clear that we're only going to get so much from them when they work each other. Cena's five moves and Orton's chinlocks just don't mesh. Thank God for the Nexus as they interjected a little bit of life into the match. Sadly, though, they got clowned by the combined efforts of Orton and Cena and look to become increasingly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

The Ugly

• The Bodyslam Challenges - Absolutely terrible wrestling. Wasn't Evan Bourne tagging with John Cena just a few short months ago and now he seems to be an afterthought. Bourne and Edge told an okay story but the ending was never in doubt. The fact that the anonymous GM chose Mark Henry instead of The Great Khali was a plus but it still still stunk. I really hate the Raw before pay-per-views as we have to sit through things like this more often than not. Random observation: Cincinnati was super hot for Mark Henry...his pop was huge!
• A Song and Dance Match? - Words can't even describe this travesty. On a positive note it seems as though R-Truth has a new theme song. White people eat his shit up.
  
• John Morrison's Parkour - Seriously? I'm not sure what was worth...Morrison's sloppy execution or Michael Cole trying to sell it as though it actually had any bearing on the upcoming match.
• Goldust (Playing the part of William Regal) vs. William Regal (Playing the Part of Goldust) - Jesus H. Christ. It was funny and all but I really hope Regal makes a ton of money for doing stuff like this.