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Full results from this week's episode of Monday Night Raw after the jump.

1. WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Big Show and The Miz battled John Morrison and R-Truth to a no-contest after both teams were brawling all over the ringside area.
2. Legacy defeated Randy Orton in a handicap match when Ted DiBiase pinned Orton after Dream Street, set up by a distraction from Cody Rhodes.
3. Evan Bourne qualified for Money in the Bank by defeating William Regal with the Shooting Star Press.
4. Mr. McMahon won some cluster of a main event over John Cena in what was billed as a handicap gauntlet match after Cena had been pummeled by Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry (no turn, they pushed that Henry had been forced into this by Vince for some strange reason), and Batista.

My thoughts:

• The show opened with some mic work between Undertaker and Shawn Michaels that I thought was kind of boring.  Some might call it simple, but they didn't really say anything that made me want to see this match any more or any less than I already did.  They did somewhat anti-climatically make this a no-DQ, no countout match.
• They did some backstage shenanigans with Criss Angel doing magic, such as making a piece of string go in his mouth through his eye (that was kind of gross), a number trick involving William Regal and Skip Sheffield, and finally some crazy "knife in a cup" gimmick where Santino hid a knife under a paper cup and Angel crushed the other cups, leaving the cup with a knife standing upright (without a knife piercing his hand).  The problem is, even if the illusions (not tricks, as those are things a prostitute does for money, or candy) were on the up and up, they were clearly pre-taped and nobody would buy them on a wrestling show anyway, so they were pretty much a waste of time.
• I liked the Show/Miz and Morrison/Truth match, even if it didn't have a finish, as it made the challengers look strong going into Wrestlemania, and considering they weren't even a team two weeks ago, they need all the help they can get.  They did a nice job spotlighting Truth and Morrison working as a team together to prove "Hey, these guys are a legit team!  We didn't just throw them together to make sure they get a Wrestlemania payoff, honest!"
• The Orton/Legacy match was kind of boring, and if the goal was to get the audience excited about seeing that as a Wrestlemania match, it failed.  They did try to push that both Rhodes and DiBiase together are too much for Orton, so he'd need to get a tag team partner, but I'm not sure whose left that needs a Wrestlemania match.  Kofi seems to be the only star without a match on the show, but I don't know if anybody really wants to see Orton and Kofi team, and if they did team, everybody would be expecting Orton to turn on Sting, er Kofi, the entire match.
• HHH and Sheamus had another boring in-ring confrontation to build their match.  HHH did open with a nice point about how when he first came to WWE, he came in undefeated, as the new flavor of the month, and asked for the biggest dog he could find on the show (without saying the words "Ultimate Warrior) and was pinned in seconds.  Then he stated that the guys who defeated him went on to become bigger stars (who, Undertaker?  Benoit?) but the guys who he defeated saw their careers end (I guess Goldust's career went into a tailspin after Wrestlemania 13, but other than that, who?).  Then they had a boring brawl where HHH came out on top.  Overall, I remained amazingly ambivalent about this match.
• Bourne and Regal had a nice 2 minute match.  Would love to see this rematch on Superstars with some actual time.
• They announced Steve Austin as the host for next week, as well as a Vince/Bret contract signing, where hopefully Bret will announce this whole cast thing was a ruse, because otherwise it's just been a giant waste of time.
• The main event...wow.  I like Cena, and I like Vince, but this was a mess.  First, Vince changes it into a gauntlet match.  But by "gauntlet," it meant "guy comes out, beats up Cena, tags in Vince, Cena kicks out, new guy comes out." I don't know why they couldn't have Cena beat, say, Kozlov here, or even McIntyre or Swagger.  I guess I should applaud them for not burying the mid-card for once in this type of situation, but it made no sense for the guys to leave since they were not defeated, nor did they (or Vince) score a fall.  After Vince failed to score pins on Cena after Kozlov, McIntyre, Swagger, and Henry all hit their finishes on Cena, he made the match no-DQ.  Henry tried to stop Vince from using the ring bell, but Batista (who earlier had said he would not interfere in the main event) laid him out with the spinebuster.  Kofi tried to make the save for Cena, but he too was laid out.  Finally, Batista laid out Cena and Vince scored the pin to end this giant cluster-f.

Overall, it was quite the boring show.  I guess they really aren't concerned with TNA as competition if tonight's show was any indication, because they really didn't do much of anything.