Panic Grips the iMPACT! Zone

 

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When faced with change, wrestling fans tend to reach a level of overreaction unseen in any other form of entertainment. The drones who inhabit the iMPACT! Zone are no different. Here is the story of one such individual.


 

Hey guys. I'm one of the hardcore TNA fans who you see regularly on iMPACT! and TNA PPV. You probably recognize me as the guy who wears a shirt and tie to the shows.

Not really, but please, continue.

I've seen a lot of posts claiming that the biggest thing wrong with TNA right now is us, the loyal fans in the iMPACT! Zone.

Really? Near as I can tell the biggest problem with TNA is the whole lack of entertainment thing. But again, I digress. Keep going.

I'd like to give you a little perspective on things. There is a group of about 12-20 of us who are at every show we can attend (Collectively known as the "Crucial Crew", which is why you see us throw up the 'c' hand signal). And we DO NOT like the direction this company is going. Therefore, we express our displeasure in hopes that management will listen. Why? Because we LOVE TNA, and will not stand idly by while it gets raped by Hogan and his boys. If we were season ticket holders for a sports team, this would be expected, would it not?

OK, for starters the term "Crucial Crew" is lame. It's like something a group of 14 year old break dancers would call themselves. You can do better. Also, your claim that TNA is being "raped" is kinda hilarious. Taking away your six sided ring and being subjected to a bunch of old, washed up has beens might seem cruel to you, but the word "rape" would imply that you're being physically forced to endure this. You are not. And since when has a wrestling promotion listened to fans displeasure? Seriously, do you really think that you and your homies are in position to be calling shots? Child, please. And if you were "season ticket holders" you would be paying money to watch TNA. Outside of the PPVs, you are not paying shit. And even if you were paying money, do you really think management gives two shits what you think? Trust me, I'm an Oakland Raiders fan, and I can tell you that no amount of displeasure even registers with people in charge.

 

Last night at Genesis was a major event in the growing war between the TNA loyalists and the Hoganites. I can tell you that very real battle lines are being drawn within the organization, and the conflict will get a lot worse.

You guys might want to print up some t-shirts. Maybe you can do some grass roots, guerrilla-style internet campaign like Conan O'Brien's supporters did. Also, it's hilarious that you claim to have insider info on there being beef between the boys in the back. I'm sure there is a whole slew of wrestlers ready to defend the honor of YOUR TNA against that no good Hogan and his band of crusaders.

 

Again, we LOVE TNA. So when a man who built his career and reputation on WWF Sports Entertainment comes in, changes the things that make TNA unique and basically tells us that the TNA model is broken and that "the smart marks in the front" (read Hogan's IGN interview) don't matter, aren't representative of mainstream America and so should be ignored- Yeah, we're gonna be pissed.

 

Yeah, a guy who has probably drawn over A BILLION DOLLARS in pro wrestling probably doesn't have the first clue as to how the business works. Not a clue. And what in the hell made TNA unique other than the six sided ring? Guys with bad tattoos? WWE has that. Women with fake tits? Check. Poor acting? Yup. I'm failing to see the distinction here. Oh wait, I can think of one: WWE charges admission to their TV shows and people actually PAY TO SEE IT. So yeah, I guess that the TNA model probably is broken. And no, Sparky. You and your 12-18 friends are not representative of mainstream America.

Last night was remarkable in that for the first time ever a TNA producer came down into the pit where we stand, grabbed my friend by the shirt and actually threatened to ban us from the building if we didn't stop with the "vulgarity and the negativity". From reports, this heat came directly from "Dixie and Terry who were pissed that we didn't put Morely over during his match with Daniels. Are you kidding? This happened during the Pope v Wolfe match, and totally killed the crowd. If you were wondering why the crowd was so dead during what was a great wrestling match, that's why.

Yeah, it's totally cool to turn your back on a match because it features a guy who used to work for the evil Vince McMahon. New flash: a whole hell of a lot of TNA's roster once worked for Vince. As for the producer chewing you and your buddies out, that's what happens when you try to make yourselves bigger than the show itself. That is exactly what you and all the other attention whores are doing. Get over yourself.

 

Here's the thing though... We've become friends with a lot of the wrestlers, and they all love our energy, enthusiasm and passion, and have and continue to support us. The production crew, who takes heat directly from the top, HATE us, most likely because they are all afraid for their jobs.

Yeah, I'm sure you're getting Christmas cards from Kevin Nash. And I'm sure Jay Lethal goes home at night and marvels at how loud you guys were or how fast the black dude was twirling his towels tonight. Seriously, do you REALLY think the wrestlers give a shit about you? As for the production people, yeah, they probably love having a group of jackasses like you pushing your own agenda because the show no longer suits your tastes.

Also, all of the Bubba Army idiots and other Hogan marks are now in the iMPACT! Zone and act like the complete tools they are. Oh, but THEY don't get scolded like 5-year olds, even though they are the most offensive people there.

Well now, this is a textbook example of the pot calling the kettle black. Also, a 5 year old probably has more sense than to repeatedly chant stupid crap to make themselves look cool.

I saw hundreds of people walk out on the show last night, something i've NEVER seen at a PPV. Things are getting weird. Hopefully, Bischoff and Russo are smart enough to use this tension to create compelling TV, but from my perspective, it seems like TNA is dying right before my eyes.

I'm pretty sure that there weren't HUNDREDS  OF PEOPLE walking out on the show, being that in an arena that only holds HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE, something like HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE walking out would be pretty obvious. TNA is attempting to do something different so they might be able to get to a point where they won't have to run free TV tapings in front of confused amusement park goers and obsessed nut jobs like yourself. I think it's a little early in the process to declare them to be dying before your eyes, but it's all about YOU, isn't it?

Want some compelling TV? Wait until the entire pit revolts and empties into the ring on live TV. The way things are going, this is not altogether inconceivable.

OK, now this is an idea I can get behind. You and the rest of your pasty, bloated comrades taking puffs off of your asthma inhalers before storming the ring and getting the ever-loving shit beat out of you would make me a line crosser. I urge you to give this idea some serious thought.

 

Rest assured, the Crucial Crew will fight to the end for the TNA we know and love!

Look pal. I'm going to give you the same advice that every TNA-hole has given me and anyone else who has dared to criticize your beloved promotion over the years: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T WATCH IT. It's that simple. No wrestling promotion with a national TV deal and monthly PPVs is going to go far booking shows to please a few dozen mutants. You need to realize this. It'll be such a shame if the TNA you know and love would one day become a profitable, main stream alternative to the dreaded WWE that you despise so much.

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