Hulk Hogan's Media Enemies List

 

In a recent interview, Hulk Hogan claimed that the only two credible news sources left in America are People Magazine and Larry King.  You may ask yourself how he arrived at this improbable conclusion.  Well, what you don't know is that Hulk Hogan, like his contemporary and dear friend Richard Nixon, keeps a remarkably detailed "enemies list" and brother, if you're the media, you'd better try your best to not get on it.  (Possible repercussions associated with inclusion on Hogan's enemies list may involve -- but are not limited to -- 24-inch pythons, the power of Hulkamania, and running wild on you.)

Cageside Seats was somehow able to obtain a portion of Hogan's Media Enemies List and it's certainly revealing to find out how certain media outlets have wronged "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan in the past.  Take a gander:

  • Huffington Post - Quoted me as calling John Graziano "a drooling vegetable" when I actually said "gibbering retard" -- don't even bother checking your facts, you jabronies!
  • Nightline - Ted Koppel refused to include me in his live episode from Jerusalem.  What a bush-league operation, man!
  • National Enquirer - Refused to print my suggestions that I be nominated for John McCain's running mate in lieu of Palin.  I've cut the Enquirer boys a lot of slack in the past, but enough is enough, brother!
  • Forbes - Declined to write an article regarding my challenging the Forbes 400 to a winner-take-all, battle royal Yappapi Indian Death Strap Match!
  • TMZ - Waving a gun around while my testicles hang out of my Speedos at Fort Lauderdale not even worth a mention?!?!  What makes that "Twilight" dude so special?!?!
  • The Christian Science Monitor - Kept telling me my editorial espousing my "Four Demandments" was inappropriate regardless of whether they were a secular publication.
  • Fox News - Hannity rolled his eyes at me that one time.
  • Entertainment Weekly - Not making the "Hot List" despite having a hit show?!  a D MINUS for "Brooke Knows Best"?!  Fascists.
  • TV Guide - No, TV Guide, Jeers to YOU!!!!  JEERS TO YOU!!!!
  • Xinhua News Agency - Hulkamania banned in China?!?! Fine, I didn't want to go there anyway.  I already wrestled Genghis Khan at the national Chinese Palace in 1987 in front of ten million people, that territory's burnt out, brother.
  • Hustler - I don't care what anybody says, brother, that Nancy Benoit pictorial was in poor taste

Fascinating stuff, to be sure!

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