Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, AKA Ed Leslie, a man with steel plates in his face after a tragic parasailing accident (you can't make this stuff up) was knocked out in less than 30 seconds during a celebrity toughman contest in Philadelphia. If you think Beefcake is stretching the definition of celebrity thin, what can you say about his opponent?

Leslie faced off with Bill Simmons. Not ESPN's "The Sports Guy." This Bill Simmons is a champion eater, known as El Wingador. His claim to fame? Eating chicken wings. A lot of them. The fight was supposed to be a work, but Simmons came out shooting and knocked Leslie out. Beefcake wouldn't even let professional wrestlers punch him in the face because of the plates holding his fragile features together. I wonder how he expected to do a boxing match, even a worked one, without getting punched in the face?